In Edited Times

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thank you for joining me. I'm Rabbi David Lyon from
Congregation Beth Israel in Houston. We live in edited times.
We edit our pictures, we edit our videos. We can
erase backgrounds and people who are a better image, and
we can create outcomes that are nearly real or totally imagined.

(00:24):
We don't always know the difference between them. We even
begin to believe the memories we created, though they're not
necessarily how they happened in real time. My wife and
I traveled much of the month to be with our
grandchildren and their parents. Our children. The pictures we chose
to post on social media reveal the truth, including some

(00:47):
very happy faces of our grandchildren, happy grandparents for sure,
and special moments. But you didn't see photos of frustration,
children acting out, and our personal exhaustion arrived on cue
every evening and sometimes early afternoon. You didn't hear for
the umptine time, Dad hold the baby or did you

(01:10):
change his diaper at ten a m. By the way,
the answers were okay and no in that order. I
admit that the photos we posted were of the best times,
and why not we still remember the in between times,
But no one wants them framed or save for posterity.

(01:32):
The greatest challenge about living in edited times is that
we have been seduced by technology to curate reality. No
one said that we can't, so we all get away
with it. We learned a long time ago that a
picture paints a thousand words, but a digital photo improves them,

(01:53):
beautifies them, and sometimes even tells a much better story.
We all do it. And if we all do it,
then why are we so certain that what we read
from others is true and reliable without verification too? Why
don't we question everything on social media, even from those
whom we are supposed to trust. Recent data shows that

(02:17):
a dopamine rush from scrolling through videos and reading posts
prevents us from turning off the flow of joy. How
could it be false or edited if it makes us
so happy? But so much if it isn't real or
real enough. I began by calling these edited times, but

(02:38):
we need to really think about them as ethical times.
This is the time to acknowledge that even as we
might post something that is highly edited and curated, so
is everybody else in the world doing the same thing.
So what is it about what they post? It makes
it more real than what we post, and shouldn't we

(02:59):
do discern and be more inquisitive about their post just
as we would want others to know about ours. So
what do we do? We really double down on what
we know is ethical? What is proper about sources of
information that we read and hear and begin to understand

(03:22):
from early days in school, No matter when you grew up,
this is what we were taught to do, to investigate,
to ask, to be sure that what we learn is
as accurate as is possible to get. And so we
might even turn to our sacred texts, as we often do,
to discover what are the sources of those ethical teachings

(03:45):
that might be applied to these edited times. I would
begin with one that is familiar in Jewish and Christian
texts alike, the golden rule, as it's often called, love
your neighbor as yourself. Originating in the Book of Leviticus
and also found in the Gospels. It's a shared teaching

(04:06):
that helps us to appreciate the love that is always
possible to be found. And if we read something that
leads us to hate, abhor or to feel indifferent, we
really owe it to the other and to ourselves. To
be sure that we understand it as best we can,
to be sure that the outcome is love or at

(04:28):
least like, but it shouldn't be hate. Very often, something
that we hate is something that we don't understand. It's
also something that we fear, and so love your neighbor
as yourself has to be a starting place from which
we begin to understand each other, no matter where we
hear from each other or read each other's posts or

(04:49):
see each other's pictures. Likewise, we are taught to discern,
to be sure that we are authentic human beings who
appreciate and understand the information that we encounter. We have
a personal responsibility to be sure that the way we
react to what we see and read and hear is

(05:11):
conducive to the kind of person we want to be,
the kind of community we want to build together, because
if we fail to do it, we bear some responsibility.
It isn't enough just to point fingers or like or
dislike something on social media. We are still the bearers

(05:31):
of that decision, and we have to live with that
decision in all the places that we really go and
with all the people we really spend time. But most importantly,
if we can love and discern. We also have to
appreciate that one of the most fundamental teachings and Judaism
is not to spread rumors or gossip or hearsay. We

(05:55):
have a very profound responsibility not to participate in it, because,
as I've taught before, once we participate in rumors and
gossip and hearsay, it is something that we can't retrieve.
We can't often repair it well enough, and it has
a ripple effect that has an end that is difficult

(06:15):
to find or reach once it started. It affects and
destroys communities, relationships, people understanding. Everything that is sacred to
us ultimately comes apart in the end. And that's why
the rabbis taught that to participate in rumors and gossip

(06:36):
and hearsay is called la shon harah in Hebrew evil tongue,
and that evil tongue can destroy the entire Torah and
everything that is built upon it, no different the Christian
Bible or the Koran or other sacred texts. To take
something so simple as the word that is a reflection

(06:57):
of our heart and soul and contributes to the deeds
we do to misunderstand, to promulgate falsehoods and create deception.
With such dishonesty is to destroy everything that the world
has been built upon. And so the burden and the
responsibility is not to blame the social media foundation or platform,

(07:21):
but rather ourselves. What is our personal responsibility, our ethic
to that social media platform and the way we engage
with others? Lashonhra the evil tongue. And so the Psalmist said,
who is the one who desires life? We all do.
We want the very best life. The Psalmist went on

(07:43):
to ask who desires the elixir of life? That is
the simple potion that if we could only secure it,
if we could only possess it and also digest it,
it would provide us everything that we wanted out of life,
no one would ever turn it down. But the Psalmist said,
it's easier than you think. The psalm Ist taught, keep

(08:05):
your tongue from evil, depart from evil, and do good.
It's as simple as that. But let's be clear. The
psalmost didn't begin by saying depart from evil. It said
keep your tongue from evil, because it is the source
and the beginning of everything that we share, we express,

(08:28):
and ultimately we do. The truth is that if you've
ever taught something to somebody, you use your words and
your gestures to make it clear to them. It's true.
You ask any teacher what a person teaches becomes very
clear to them. What a person teaches becomes important to them.

(08:48):
And so we see in history and in literature, the
virtual or real soapbox a person stands on becomes a
place where they make profound statements and deepen their belief
in what they say. So, therefore, the tongue is a
place where it all begins, and it leads to the
deeds that follow. Keep your tongue from evil, depart from evil,

(09:13):
and do good. Those words are written in the order
that we need to understand them to be clear on
what our personal responsibility is, and that it begins not
with the touch of the keyboard that places words on
the screen and that into the internet, but it begins
in our heart and soul and with the words that
we craft in our head. We speak with our tongue,

(09:36):
and ultimately we type on the keyboard. Those of us
who grew up a long time ago with photos we
waited a week to see after they were developed at
the drug store have some awareness of the difference between
what is edited and what we wait to see the
outcome of. But generations have already grown up in the

(09:59):
digit world where everything they do is memorialized on the
internet because it's all so special. But here's a hard truth,
It isn't. It isn't that special. Not everything. Some things are,
but we know that not everything is. The ability to
create content that's honest and real and to discern others

(10:22):
content for its truth requires life skills. It begins with
the ethics, it follows with the deeds. It now affects
everything from personal growth and self esteem and emerging adults
to the way we all see the world of politics, war, famine,
natural disasters, and also verifiable history, wisdom, and love. In

(10:49):
my list of items, I ended with the word love
because we know that young people and older people alike
are also seduced by technology to believe even a form
or brand of love that isn't real at all. Relationships
that are formed online, that are created in digital media

(11:10):
are not the kind of relationships that a person enjoys
or creates and builds when they're face to face and
see a person's real reaction, and not one created by AI.
And we begin to understand ourselves through experimentation, through understanding
other people's needs and wants and our own too. It

(11:30):
takes time, and the old forms of dating in the
past served a purpose that not all technology can provide today.
There's no perfect answer to mitigate against the impacts of
social media. But if less is still more, then I
recommend that we look for natural joys and more than

(11:51):
other people's lives documented on the internet. As one slogan says,
get out there and spend real time with family and friends.
Read the menu when you get to the restaurant, but
not before, and keep some pictures of your children and
grandchildren that aren't perfect because they're not perfect either. Well,

(12:13):
grandchildren are perfect, but not every picture of them is perfect.
I'm Rabbi David Lyon from Congregation Meth Israel in Houston.
To listen again or to share this message, please find
it at my podcast called Heart to Heart with Rabbi
David Lyon, also found at Sunny ninety nine dot com

(12:34):
and the iHeartRadio app. Funny thing is when I am
with my children and grandchildren, we might be heading to
one of our favorite restaurants, but everybody's looking on their
phone or an iPad to review the menu before we
ever arrive. I've been the one in the group to
say part of the joy of going to a restaurant

(12:55):
is to open it and take the time to peruse it,
to read it, to consider what really looks tasty. Maybe
there are specials we need to hear about before jumping
to the conclusion that we've already decided what we're going
to eat. But most times I hear, oh dad, oh pops,
we're looking ahead because we want to have our choices

(13:17):
all ready to go. Well. I think it takes away
some of the fun, some of the spontaneity, but I
get it. Everybody likes to feel prepared in adeditive times.
Let's try. Let's try to curate our stories without fear
of imperfections. They make us human, they make us real.
They help us know our place among others and where

(13:40):
others belong among us. As we continue in the summer
and the fall and the seasons change, Let's not be
pulled too fast. Let's not be drawn into things that
are not for us. And before we jump to conclusions,
let be sure that we do follow up on our

(14:01):
ethical responsibility, our personal obligation to get it right to
understand better, to counsel with our friends and colleagues, to
know all that we can about situations and issues. And
if we're forming relationships, let's be sure that they are
wholesome and honest and good and for young people, especially

(14:23):
as relationships still take time to develop, because they always do,
no matter the technology. Let's give ourselves space and room
to stumble and pick ourselves up and ultimately find someone
who follows us as we want to lead as well
ethically in a grounded way, for the sake of goodness

(14:45):
and peace in our heart and soul and between all
the people we come in contact with now and in
the future. Thank you for joining me. I look forward
to being with you again next time.