When the Plane is Late

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thank you for joining me. I'm Rabbi David Lyon from
Congregation Beth Israel in Houston. The holiday seasons are in
full force, and all of us who are celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah,
and Kwanza and perhaps other holidays too, are looking for
ways to bring more light into the darkest season of

(00:21):
the year. As the winter soe has come and gone,
they say that each day is getting a little bit lighter,
a little bit longer, but it takes time to see
all that light. As the days do get a little
longer as the year continues to unfold. I want to
share with you what personal experience that I just had

(00:41):
and perhaps you can relate to it too, because I
was traveling on this holiday season and at the big
airport in Houston, like many of you travel to the
big airports all around the country. You arrive on time,
you abide by the rules and expectations of ts, you
arrive at the gate on time, you stand where you're

(01:03):
asked to stand, and do what you're asked to do.
And then the airlines sometimes can't accomplish everything that you
need them to do. And last night was such an
example when I arrived at the airport in good time
and found my way to a comfortable seat in one
of the clubs, and then outside, where there were actually

(01:25):
more chairs and more air and fewer people. I found
myself being alerted by my phone to go to the gate,
then to change to another gate, and yet back to
the gate again, and one more time. Finally, it wasn't
announced by the airline but by a fellow passenger that
they changed the gate again, and so we all went

(01:48):
screwring down the very long and crowded corridors where we
needed to be, and ultimately, while we were waiting for
the very delayed plane, which was hours and hours late,
we discovered that while the temperature rose and people's passions increased,
people were getting angry and impatient with the gad agents.

(02:12):
It occurred to me that there were so many lessons
from faith that I needed to lean into, and I
wish I could have shared with others, as they certainly
tried to lean into their own sense of patience, courtesy,
and somehow to overcome the impossible situation that we were
all facing. But what occurred to me is that every

(02:36):
human being, whether we're in group six, group one, or two,
whether we're flying first class or have some premiere eligibility
to board first and more comfortably. Whether we're in the
Diamond club or the Gold club, it doesn't really matter.
We all bored, we all take off at the same time,

(02:58):
and we all land time. It might be that the
experience on the plane is a little different for individuals
sitting in the back or in the front, but we're
all human beings, and bottom line, there's a level of
dignity and humanity that all of us need to identify,
preserve and respect, and especially at this holiday season, more

(03:22):
than other times of the year, we highlight these expectations.
It doesn't mean that they're not important at other times
of the year and only at Christmas and Hanukkah, but
these are the times of the year, especially when we're
called to identify them, renew them, and honor them. And
that's especially what failed last night. As I stood in

(03:43):
line as patiently as I could be and listen to
some of the conversation and aggravation around me, I ultimately
said to the gate agent, who hadn't said a word
to anybody in the crowd except by yelling at the
crowd multiple times, I kindly said to him could you
take the microphone and share some information with the people

(04:04):
who are waiting so they feel connected to the problem,
a part of the solution, and perhaps you'll lower the
temperature around the gate area. Take the microphone, please. He
didn't take the microphone, but eventually he must have been
thinking about the possibility and he did. He was hesitant,

(04:25):
He was unsure about what to say, even though from
his appearance it seemed that he had many years of
experience on the job, and when he finished, there wasn't
really anything more that we came to understand, except that
the weight would continue. It led me to feel and
to remember that very often some of my colleagues will

(04:47):
ask in a Facebook page that we share on occasions
when they need to say something important to a group
of people in their congregational organization or share a blessing
with the significant life a leader. The question they ask
is what should I say? What text should I use?
What should I do to create the moment that needs

(05:09):
to be shared? And when I heard the question after
many times, it occurred to me that that colleague was
asking the wrong question. It's not what should I say
to another person, but rather what does that person or
group of people need to hear. And I looked into

(05:30):
the Torah in the Hebrew version and found that in
many places, when Moses or Aaron or others were speaking
to the people, the word that was used to describe
the exercise or the performance of that speech was not
here's what I said, but the word was bill osnecher

(05:51):
from the word ozen osen is an ear. It wasn't
that they were speaking at the people, but rather in
the hearing of the people. It caused me to think
about the question differently. It caused me to respond to
a colleague online that it isn't important what you say,

(06:12):
but what the people hear. And if we begin by
asking what do others need to hear, it leads us
to the better answer about hearing about a lay person's
ability to take hold of the responsibilities of leading the
board or the board of trustees, or a committee in
the congregation or organization. It leads to finding the right

(06:35):
words that people need to hear who are growing impatient
with a situation at a gate at the airport. Imagine
instead of the gate agent getting on the microphone and
fumbling and saying, hey, everybody, we know we've got a
problem we're understaffed, it's holiday time, and if you'll just
be patient, it will get you on your way as
soon as we can. Those words fell on deaf ears,

(06:57):
so to speak, because we knew all of that. We
knew we were standing around waiting for something to happen
that wasn't happening. But if he had gotten on the
pa and said, fellow passengers, thank you for joining us tonight.
We appreciate that you're waiting, and we also respect your patients.
Let me fill you in and help you understand that

(07:20):
the plane that you're waiting for is just landed, is
taxing to the gate, but it's waiting for the current
plane to back up to make room for it to come.
And we promised to keep you updated every few minutes
so that you're aware of what's happening. Now, that would
have been a welcome statement, because he filled our ears
with what we needed to hear. But that kind of

(07:42):
exercise and awareness requires a sense of human empathy. We
know that gate agent was overworked because practically standing alone
most of the time, and while passenger after passenger approached
him and urged him to solve a problem for them,
to get a supervisor to tell them where to go.
We realized around us that it was more than justice

(08:05):
gate agent. The entire airline over the course of the
evening was creating problems across the airport, and it was
unfortunate for the airline and certainly for many of its passengers,
some of them frequent and some of them not. But
in the moment, we all have not only a responsibility,
but an opportunity to create the situation that we know

(08:28):
needs to happen. It isn't about a corporate structure over
our heads that prevents us from being human to other humans.
It's about us empathizing with the passion and concern of
people around us. Let's go back to the person who
needs to be blessed at a service, who's taking up
leadership in our congregation, organization, or source of business. What

(08:51):
do they need to hear from us? We might say,
as your supervisor, as your rabbi, as you're a minister,
I call you into service. I call you up to
this special responsibility. And though you may feel the burden
of the responsibilities that you are about to carry, we

(09:11):
hand you this Torah or this Bible or this gavel
as a sign of your ability to bear up, to
hold on to these responsibilities. And as we observe you
take hold of them, we know that we are in
good hands as you lead with your heart and your soul,
with your hands, your wisdom, and we will follow you

(09:34):
where you lead us to go in this organization, from
strength to strength. Now that doesn't require asking what should
I say, but rather empathizing with the person. What does
he or she need to hear? How do we build
up their confidence to feel capable and able to move on?

(09:55):
So if I were that gate agent last night, I
would have taken up that microphone that peace because it
is a sign of authority. Not anybody can take it up.
And I would have said, fellow passengers, were all in
a tough place tonight, and I know that you're ready
and eager to go, and so we'll keep you informed
and let you know what we can as we go

(10:17):
along the way. I'm sure that all of us would
have sighed a sigh of relief, knowing that that a
gate agent kept us in his heart and mind even
as he himself was frustrated. We would have been patient,
we would have waited, and what ensued the yelling and
some of the grappling between passengers and the gate agents

(10:38):
would never have happened. At the end of it, because
I am a relatively frequent but also nervous traveler. After
waiting six hours in the airport, I ultimately decided that
I wasn't going to get on a plane with an
angry mob of people. Sometimes it happens that they get
angry on the plane. When it happens before they get

(11:01):
on the plane, it makes me even more nervous. In
consultation with my wife, I agreed I would go home,
and that's what I did, And ultimately it was the
right decision. That plane not only left six hours late,
it left at midnight and arrived at its destination at

(11:21):
three am. That wasn't for me. I'm not sure if
it was for you, But if it would have been,
I give you lots of credit. But I think, more
than anything, because it's the holiday season, if we have
not opened our eyes or our hearts to what this
season is meant to remind us of. Whether we're Jewish
or Christian, or Muslim or Sikh or Hindu or Buddhist

(11:44):
or Baptist or nothing. The holiday season is meant to
realign our priorities help us focus on the light that
we should find in the midst of the heaviest darkness.
And it doesn't only have to be around the Christians
or the Menora. It can be in any setting, whether
it's an airport, a restaurant, a movie theater, at the stoplight,

(12:07):
in heavy traffic, and especially at home. I'm Rabbi David
Lyon from Congregation Meth Israel in Houston. To listen again
or to share this message with others, please find it
at my podcast called Heart to Heart with Rabbi David Lyon.
You can find it at Sunny ninety nine dot com
on the iHeartRadio app. As the holiday continues and New

(12:31):
Years comes, we will celebrate the passing of one year
to another with many reflections on what has gone in
the past and what we anticipate in the future, perhaps
even with new resolutions for what the new year will be.
It's my hope that for you and for fellow travelers
with you, whether they travel with you and your family

(12:54):
or circle of friends, that there is a glimpse of
some light and some hope. That we not only know
what to say, but we know what people need to hear.
And I don't think it takes too much to figure
out that people need to hear please and thank you,
some explanation about the delay, some gratitude for having reached

(13:15):
our destination literally and figuratively, and in the end, to
feel that we have worked together and not separately, and
not against each other for sure, to accomplish what needs
to be done. These are challenging times. There are many pressures,
but one thing has not changed. We are human beings

(13:38):
who can rise to the occasion, take the high road,
and find better ways than others to do what needs
to be done. And the greatest test isn't to do
what needs to be done in the easiest of times
or in the brightest of moments, but when we are
really tested, and my goodness, standing at a gate for

(13:59):
hours and hours being shuffled around with no instruction can
test anybody, even the best of us. Sometimes we walk
away as I did, or we board that plane, taking
a risk, as many did, and though the plane landed safely,
thank God, it isn't really how anybody wanted to go.
So let's use this holiday season as a means of

(14:21):
finding the light in moments of darkness, and let's be
sure to take that lesson in those times with us
well into the future. It isn't only for the month
of December and not only for the holiday season. It
is who we are at our best, in the best
of times and the worst of times. Let's be the
human beings that God created and bring honor not only

(14:43):
to each other, but also to God and therefore to
each other wherever we go and all the words we
say in all that we wish to be heard by us.
Thank you for joining me. I look forward to being
with you again next time.