March 22, 2024 • 30 mins
This week: What country sounds like to people who hate country, 5 year old does March Madness picks, assaluted veggies, cash me outside girl is back, wrong song tatt, topless jumping jacks, the music of Buc-ee's, Wilde Animal Stories, Stupid News, Hollywilde Report and more!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Listen. Stereotypes exist for a reason. They're funny. Sometimes not all the
time, but yes, when itcomes to country music and people who don't
like it, this song is prettyfunny. I'm Johnny Wild, I'm Big
ninety seventy nine, and that iswild sound today. It's this song what
(00:21):
bro country sounds like to people whojust don't like country. Drug Jeans,
beer girl, pete boots, drug, tan legs, train, gold beer,
Dixie Choke, got a beer andmy beer sebby and my drug,
got a dog at the wheels,flood off Jeans, come on, dirt
Road, pot Road, Deer moonLine, Red white and blue, Neural
(00:43):
Friday Night. And then they goon to sing some more stuff. It's
all pretty relatable, but the chorus, the last part is funny. Check
it out. Dirt Road, potRoad, Deer moon Line, red white
and blue, dr Friday, Fish, baked taale Ogate, small town y'all,
big song, whisky song, fakeSouthern draw, I'm out red dirty
(01:06):
man Farm, double wild beer,beer beer, and I'm proud of my
bride, Got a beer, beerand a semi and my drug, got
a dog at the wheel, cutoff Jean, beer and dr Yes,
there you go. I think that'sfunny, very funny, and that is
(01:27):
wild sound with me Johnny Wild onBig ninety seven nine. It's the Big
Morning Show with Johnny Wild on Bigninety seven nine. My brother and his
family have been visiting for spring breakand their five year old daughter, my
niece, is just too much.She is as cute as she can be,
(01:48):
and she knows her stuff too.We talked about her March Madness bracket.
So Ellie, tell everybody how oldyou are? A fine, You're
five and you're so c and doyou like basketball? Yes, so let's
talk about the bracket because you andyour dad just filled one out. Why
do you like TCU because the coloris purple? Is that your favorite?
(02:13):
But they're not the Unicorns is?Aren't you a big Unicorn fan? No,
One'm a big Mermaid fan. Whoelse do you like? I like
South Carolina? Oh yeah? Whydo you like them? Because I've been
there and I like the songs Carolina? You like the song Heads Carolina.
Well, that's a reason to likethe Game Cocks, I guess, although
it could be Heads Carolina Tails Oregon? You never know? Who else?
(02:38):
Do you like? Kansas? And? As you say, wise come because
my mom's mom lives there. Ohsee. I like how you've related all
your favorite teams to family. Ithink that's pretty neat. How about Colgate
versus Baylor, and Colgate is nota toothpaste? By the way, did
you think it was? Yes?Which one did you pick for that game?
(03:00):
I picked Baylor? And why isthat? Because my brother's name Baylor.
That's right, he is a giantbrother, by the way, Yes,
all right? How about that UtahState TCU game? Since you like
Purple and TCU, who's winning thatTCU? Ellie, do you know who
the mascot of TCU is? Barneythe Dinosaur? Barney the Dinosaur? Do
(03:23):
you want me to talk like Barney? I love TCU, Dear Purple like
me? I love you. You'reweird, Uncle Johnny. I know that's
old gay little one Johnny Wild inthe Morning on ninety seven nine the other
(03:46):
around, Boys and girls of oldages. It's time for Wild Animal Stories.
I still can't believe that's an AIvoice that I used. Yes,
Episode two of Wild Animal Stories.And this one's already a classic. A
cow crashed an outdoor wedding on afarm in the UK. Its comedy timing
was perfect right when the does anyoneobject question was asked in order to proceed,
(04:14):
I must now ask if any personhere, wait, what was that
notice of any lawful should not bejoined in that? You should declare it
(04:40):
now non bovine name. This fritsis so appropriate and proper. Didn't phase
her at all. Wait to gocow. That was great. I guess
they still got married even though therewas the objection. Oh this story.
The New Orleans Police Department has arat problem and they're superintendent told the city
(05:00):
council they've been eating weed from theevidence room. Here is the police superintendent.
The rats eating are marijuana, they'reall high. The uncleanliness is off
the charts. Rodent infestation. Peopleshouldn't have to come to their office and
see rodent troopines on their desk.That is not valuing your people in the
(05:25):
evidence property room major rodents. Therats eating are marijuana, they're all high.
Oh yuck. That is just nasty. Rats are so gross and high
ones are even worse. They're stonefat, lazy, playing video games all
day and evening and eating everything insight. And that's why pod is bad
(05:47):
exactly. And there you go.Wild animal stories ready, Johnny Wild in
the Morning on Big ninety seventy nine, I'm Johnny, I'm Big ninety seven
to nine. Oh my goodness,Poor Kelly. She texted me and said,
you gave me earworms, not one, but two. You know what
an earworm is, right, Asong you can't get out of your head.
(06:10):
So earlier on Wild Sound, Itold the story about this twenty five
year old woman from Vegas. She'sgot about as many tats as Jelly Roll
does, ninety seven on her body. One of them on her right arm
is a QR code and when youscan her QR tattoo, guess what you
get? Well, earworm number one, Yeah, you get rickrolled. She
(06:38):
and her friends rickroll each other alot, and she wanted to top everyone.
She said. Random people will askif they can scan her arm.
Well, of course, by theway, that took four hours and cost
two hundred and fifty bucks. Andthen I said, well, it'd be
funny if they tattoo the wrong songon your arm, and here's earworm number
(07:00):
two. Yeah, and Kelly,our listeners said, I cannot get this
out of my head now. Iam really really sorry. Johnny Wild in
the Morning see ninety well, Idon't think this girl was bottoms up,
(07:28):
but she was topless and what shewas doing at her front yard is interesting.
We'll make that part of stupid Newscoming up. I'm Johnny Wild on
Big ninety seventy nine. It's stupidyou guys, look stupid you saying I'm
stupid dum for stupid news. Firstup, This will make you doubt the
(07:48):
government even more. To get ninemillion in pandemic aid litl Wayne pledged to
operate a quote drug free workplace,and of FEDS believed in gave him nine
million bucks. If you don't knowLil Wayne, he is a big fan
of marijuana. He often smokes onpodcasts and on stage. The word baked
(08:11):
is tattooed on his forehead. Intwenty nineteen, he even launched a marijuana
brand. But somehow, in twentytwenty one, Lil Wayne told the government
his touring company was a drug freeworkplace post malone. Same thing. Ten
(08:31):
million in pandemic aid. She wis? What is going on? I don't
get it. Here's a twenty sevenyear old woman in South Carolina was arrested
earlier this month after a neighbor complainedshe was in her front yard screaming and
doing jumping jacks. Of course shewas topless. I mean, why wouldn't
(08:52):
she be right? How else doyou do jumping jacks the right way?
She was charged with obscene exposure.Couldn't have been a guy that called the
cops. I'll bet one hundred buckson that. That just doesn't happen.
Johnny Wild in the morning. Thereare the big things you need to know.
You can repeat some of these atwork. Sound kind of smart.
(09:15):
Mega millions at nearly nine hundred milliontonight, you probably already knew that.
And between both that and the Powerball, we're well over a billion and a
half. Do you have Snapchat dysmorphiaor maybe your kids? You know,
I already told you about my AIgenerated headshots that I did over the weekend
and love, but I might notbe able to go out and have surgery
(09:37):
and look exactly like that. Andthey're saying that all these filters that are
on, you know, social mediaapps like Snapchat can be really dangerous because
especially teens, they want to goout and spend money and try to attain
that look and they're not real.The government is trying to step in to
(09:58):
stop fast food play from having icecream machines that are always broken. Now
that's real annoying. I get that, But is this really what our government
needs to be spending time on.I could think of, Oh, I
don't know a hundred things they needto work on. Besides that. Remember
this chick from Doctor Phil kick meout? How about that? Cut you
(10:22):
outside? What does that mean?What I just say? How about that?
How about that? You thought you'dnever hear from her again? Right?
Well, yeah, she's in thenews because she's now a mother herself.
Remember her mom was on stage onthat Doctor Phil show, just completely
oblivious and utterly embarrassed that her daughteracts like that. Just remember karma,
(10:50):
kick me off? How about that? Wait? You want me to catch
you outside? What does that mean? What I just say? I don't
get it that? How about what? How about that? All right?
You're dumb? Hey, good luckwith parenting? Kick me off? How
about that? Johnny Wild in themorning see ninety seven nine. Johnny Wild
(11:11):
here on Big ninety seventy nine.It is time for Wild Sound, and
today it's the music of BUCkies.Yeah for real. You know, everybody
makes a big deal about the foodand the super clean restrooms at BUCkies.
But how about their in store soundtrack? Did you know about this? Popular
songs, all customized? Check itout, Bucky, I'm amazed to all
(11:39):
time. But when she says,by game, hit me Bucky one more
time? Oh bucket, Bucket,someone else calling you Bucky, I mean,
it's pretty impressive. They've done this, and all kinds of people go
there, so there's all kinds ofmusic. Shake Dead healthy, But Bucky
(12:01):
got back. You're in there shoppingfor fudge and realized, wait a minute,
did that song just say Bucky gotback? Buggy got back? Yep,
it sure did. Wait to goBUCkies. You know we should get
them a channel on the iHeart app. I'd listen to that. You are
in the morning. Would you bemad if you told your your parents,
(12:26):
your your baby's grandparents, Hey,don't pierce my baby's ears. Uhh,
I don't do it and they didit anyway. So a woman posted,
my mom and dad are Mexican andI'm an American citizen. I'm on a
visit with them in Mexico, andmy parents got my one year old daughter
ear rings for her birthday, andmy daughter's ears are not pierced. I
told them, Hey, I'll savethese for her when she's old enough to
(12:50):
get her ears pierced. We leftmy daughter with my parents and went to
meet with some friends. You seewhere this is going. When we went
to pick up my daughter, mymom showed us what they had taken her
to do. Look, we gother ears pierced. The woman and her
husband grabbed the baby, took off, and told her parents that the only
way they're gonna see this baby againis if they came with both of their
(13:15):
noses pierced, and so far they'vestuck to that demand. Yeah, I'd
be mad too. Hey, justwait till they change the kids diaper and
see that tramp stamp tattoo. That'sgonna be trouble. You know, some
relationships aren't meant to be long term, and it ends up for the good
of humanity. I'm Johnny Wilde,this big ninety seven to nine this morning,
(13:37):
and it's time for the good stuff. Yeah, man, that's the
good stuff. So what I meanby that is this. For example,
billionaire philanthropist Mackenzie Scott, who isthe former wife of Jeff Bezos, reveals
she has now given away another sixhundred and forty million bucks to over three
(14:00):
hundred and sixty one organizations. Thiswoman is amazing. She has given away
over seventeen billion. That's with ab of her sixty billion dollar fortune.
Here's a recipient that has ALS.It's him and his wife and someone on
zoom and she's telling them that they'vegotten money for their ALS foundation. It's
(14:22):
a little hard to hear, butthe first part she says, I have
two pieces of good news, twopieces of nas The first is that we
got McKenzie's got and the most twotwo million dollars. I'm sorry. It
kind of hits home for me becausemy wife's mom died of ALS. It's
(14:46):
a terrible, terrible disease and itneeds a lot of funding as well as
a lot of diseases and causes doso. McKenzie is amazing. The world
needs more people like her. Percentagewise, she's donated way more than her
ex who is worth nearly two hundredbillion dollars. But that's incredible. Good
job. That's the good on Bigninety seven nine. Well, I don't
(15:13):
know if this crazy idea is goingto turn into a franchise. I guess
we'll see. I'm Johnny Wilde I'mchuffling and this is big ninety seven nine.
There's a new pop up in NewYork City. It's the Crying Spa.
The name of it is the SobParlor. Yeah, and it's a
it's a cry spob. You gothere to have a quick cry, then
(15:37):
you leave. Anthony Villatoli is theSob Parlor's founder. He says that people
in need of an emotional release canbook thirty minute appointments in a private cry
room. Okay, private cry room. I'm with you so far, and
(15:58):
you're welcome to come cry on yourlunch break and then maybe go right back
to work. But that seems likethe opposite because normally you're crying at work,
then fine at lunch, then yougo back to work and cry some
more. He says. The SobParlor attendees are usually dealing with grief or
loss, maybe some stress at workor bad situation at home, but the
(16:21):
number one reason, he says,is heartache after experiencing a bad breakup.
The cost for the half hour istwenty bucks and that doesn't seem that bad.
It should be way more. Andthey give you the bill at the
beginning, just to help you getstarted. You know, and if you're
thirty minutes are up and you stillhaven't cried, I guess he'll arrange to
have your car stolen. Johnny wildin the morning on Big ninety seven nine,
(16:47):
I caved into AI again, people, and I love it. I'm
Johnny Wilde. I'm Big ninety sevento nine. So you might remember about
a week ago I told you howI used an AI voice for a feature
I'm doing here. I'll play itfor you again. I gather around boys
and girls of old ages. It'stime for wild animal stories. Yeah,
(17:10):
that's computer generated and it was exactlywhat I needed. But I felt bad
because you know, I could havehad a voiceover person do that. Well,
it happened again over the weekend.I was looking for a photo to
use for the artwork on the newJohnny wild podcast, and yes, it
went up over the weekend. Youcan check it out on the iHeart app,
(17:30):
Spotify, Apple Music, etc.So the photo I chose originally,
my wife disliked and my kids absolutelyhated it. They were all ganging up
on me in text message making funand honestly they were right. It was
a bad photo. But listen,I don't like any of my current pictures.
I haven't had professional headshots made inten years, and I cannot seem
(17:52):
to find anything on my phone thatworks. So Saturday morning, I'm scrolling
through Facebook and I an ad.I click on said ad for AI generated
headshots. It's basically like a superfilter for your photos, and I thought,
all right, what the heck,It's only sixty bucks, and if
(18:12):
it even does half of what theyclaim, I might have a shot or
two I can use. So Iquickly take six to seven random selfies in
different parts of the house and theseare garbage too. I'm up against different
backgrounds and lighting, and so Iupload those and then I take four of
(18:32):
those ten year old headshots I haveand I upload those two. An hour
later, I get to notice thatmy new AI generated headshots are here.
Holy filters, these are amazing.I couldn't believe how great they look.
And yes, they still look likeme, a much brighter, hotter version
of me. But my kids,my wife, and friends they agreed that
(18:56):
these totally work without looking over thetop. And I seriously have at least
fifty picks to download, and I'dsay a good I don't know, twelve
to twenty of them are usable andlisten. I don't want to put photogs
out of biz, but I gottatell you these are amazing. I could
be a realtor maybe a CEO ofa bank, a tech billionaire, or
(19:21):
run for office or the reason Idid them artwork for my podcast. Now
you gotta go download it on theiHeart app and see the picture. AI
you scary, scary good get upwith Johnny Wilde in the morning. Every
morning home be ninety said A nine. If I didn't love you, I'd
(19:42):
be loving I don't know nine otherwives. That's what this guy's doing.
Good stupid news. I don't knowwhy dudes keep trying to pull this off.
It just makes no sense to me. Here's a Texas guy busted for
marrying over ten and women. Hisname's Orlando Coleman. He was pretending to
(20:03):
be a bishop who traveled to churchesaround the country and after tying the not
with each one of them, hewould take advantage of the women for financial
gain and it all came crashing downwhen he wed the wrong girl from Houston.
She found checks from the other womenstarted her own investigation. He was
sentenced this week to well only threeyears behind bars. And here's the twist.
(20:29):
He was already on probation for thesame offense when he got busted this
time. I can barely handle onewife and two exes. What is wrong
with this guy? What is wrongwith this dude? An Ohio father arrested
for continuously calling his kids elementary schooland then the police because his kid was
(20:52):
getting too much homework. Here area couple of Adam Sizemore's calls. Basically,
the parent didn't like that his childwas getting homework, so he decided
he was going to call the schooland call the school repeatedly, over and
over again. He calls dispatch.I think it was eighteen times roughly.
I want talk chief. Leave avoicemailoch he doesn't answer. I'm being very
(21:12):
nigh really well, then come tothe police department and we'll call the chief
in and you can talk to himin person. I pay for him.
He can come to my house.Well, I'm going to send some officers
out to your house to talk toyou in person, since you want to
stop calling. He sounds like afun time. I pay for him.
Hey, come to my house.Yeah, buddy, good job. Good
luck with that, and there yougo. Another edition of Stupid News.
(21:37):
Hey, I'm on there, shutup. Nuko's New Country and Johnny Wilde
on Big ninety seventy nine. Inall my years, I don't think I've
heard of this. I'm Johnny wildBig Natty's seven nine time Now for Wild
Sound. We have a theme.It's all bathroom related today, Jason Derulo.
(22:00):
Thus the music in the background stoppedmid show to go to the bathroom.
Hey, I guess when you gottago, you gotta go, even
if you're live in concert. Inthe middle of a song, Nature called
during one of his songs in Englandand he actually asked the crowd to excuse
him that they were not pleased.Guys, I'm so sorry, but do
(22:26):
you mind. Let's just gonna usethe bathroom real quick. But I really
gotta go, man. Tough crowd, for sure. That is that is
interesting, unbelievable. Our next bathroomstory, boxes of toilet paper fell off
(22:48):
of a truck on the LA Freeway. Is a chp cleaning up a very
very large amount of toilet paper thatapparently has spilled off the back of a
truck. That person pulled to theright and called nine one said I'm so
sorry. But all the toilet paperhas come off my truck. And now
you can see the very brave membersof the California Highay Patrol are there scooping
(23:10):
the toilet paper off to the shoulder. But you know, the CHP,
it's a dirty job. Someone's gotto clean up other ways. Hey,
oh, those wacky news people onTV. Hey, that delivery truck must
have had a wipeout. Okay,there you go. That is wild sid
(23:30):
I almost said stupid news. Itcould have gone either way. Big ninety
seven nights, the Rams took itto the Cavaliers from the get go.
Last night, I can't believe Virginiaonly scored fourteen points by half. I
gotta look up that. That hasto be a d one bad record.
(23:51):
And I knew it was over thensixty seven forty two final score. Rams
move on to play the Longhorns tomorrownight in Charlotte. See you plays their
Way in tonight and we'll see howthat goes. So with March madness really
getting started tomorrow, can you getzero right? That means zero? Pepsi
(24:15):
is using AI, No, notartificial intelligence, but the real AI.
Alan iverson in this commercial for Pepsizero sugar and PEPSI is rewarding people for
getting those bracket picks completely wrong,like zero right, and the odds really
aren't in your favor. It's kindof hard. You normally will get at
(24:40):
least a few if you don't knowanything just by you know, fifty to
fifty chance, but you could winup to one hundred thousand dollars. That
actually sounds fun. I like that. Well. I totally forgot to mention
last week that Frontier Airlines now letsyou pay to guarantee a middle seat that's
in. Yeah, it's just youand a middle seat and then somebody on
(25:04):
the other side. Apparently it's notas much as buying an entire other seat.
Uh. This seems novel for passengers, but a terrible business idea.
I doubt this last year. Inother news, Frontier is now charging extra
for seat belts. Yes I'm kidding, but don't you feel like they charge
(25:25):
you for every single thing? Sir? That flotation device that's gonna be ten
bucks. You only need to getup and get gold. Come on,
now, get on up with JohnnyWilde in the morning on Big ninety seven
nine. We might just have toburn the entire grocery store down after this.
I'm Johnny wild I'm Big ninety sevento nine, and it's time for
the news. Oh stupidity. Youguys look stupid. Are you saying I'm
(25:49):
stupid dud stupid news? Well,unfortunately this is from Colorado, a Colorado
man, which is soon going toturn into Florida man if these things keep
happening. He got busted after allegedlygetting frisky with some fruits, vegetables,
(26:10):
and baked goods at the grocery store. Oh yeah, he's facing all kinds
of charges. Here's the police chieftalking about it. You see, mister
Missalta was an employee at fourteen twentysix East Harmony wrote the safeway. It
was items of food that weren't commerciallysealed. Again, we have many more
videos to go through, but inwhat we have already seen, we have
(26:33):
multiple victims and we have multiple felonycharges against mister Massalta. When he says
multiple victims, is that like cucumbers, eggplants, and breadsticks. And if
those veggies could talk, oh mygoodness, they would all say we were
masalted. Mark. Come on nowwith Johnny Wilde in the morning on Big
(26:56):
ninety seven nine. I didn't knowwhether this you go in stupid news or
the good stuff, so I decidedthat wild sound worked best for this.
An Oklahoma family got a free roofwhen a contractor mixed up the address and
accidentally tore up a random Holmes roof. Oops. Thankfully they made good on
(27:18):
this honest mistake and gave the familya whole new roof for free. Well
don't you have to. Here's Deborahand Scott at center and Doug Gray,
the owner of the roofing and constructioncompany, talking about the new roof.
Oh my gosh, we didn't ordera roof. I think it was about
eighty percent off when they realized themistake. And that's when we get the
(27:42):
phone call. Oh wow, howcan we make this mistake? But here's
what we can do to fix it. They were very gracious, very sweet,
They understood little shocked, obviously.It was really pretty smack him.
Yeah, that's nice. I wouldn'tput that in your commercial, though.
This happens from time to time.You know, the concrete guys rip up
(28:03):
the wrong driveway. I just wishthe neighbors landscaping people would accidentally do our
yard instead. Komodo dragon, atax zookeeper. I'm Johnny Wild, I'm
big ninety seven nine. Guess whatother around boys and girls of old ages.
It's time for Wild Animal Stories.Well this would officially be episode number
(28:26):
three of Wild Animal Stories. Soa whole neighborhood in Pennsylvania has been working
together to find a deer with ajug on its head that's been roaming the
area for weeks. Luckily, Lisaand Matt Mertz were able to grab the
deer and get the jug off itshead before the deer starved. Here they
(28:48):
are talking about it. We hadsquatted the deer, and you know,
Lisa said, mount I got thedeer. We ran over and she approached
it from the front, and youknow, I kind of like snuck up
on it from the back. ThenI was able to turn my body and
secure him safely until Matt was ableto hold him from behind and we could
work together to get the container offhis head. We're huge animal lovers,
and you could just tell him thelook on its face that it was starting
(29:11):
to wear down and it was allin God's hands to handle it, and
we were able to figure it out. M Man, how about some applause
for those two right there. Yes, good job. Well, someone needs
to brush up on how to trainyour dragon. The akron Ohio Zoo is
(29:32):
investigating what led to a Komodo dragonattack in the Komodo Kingdom. Employee service
area staff member is recovering from injuriesfrom multiple bite wounds out. These things
can reach up to ten feet inlength and weigh up to three hundred pounds.
They don't like humans in their servicearea, weekends that go by way
(29:53):
too fast, negativity and bad vibes. Oh, and they don't like people
touching their food in the employee freeso don't do that. And that is
wild animal stories, get out ofwhich Johnny Wild in the Morning on Big
ninety seventy nine, Noko's New Country
Listen. Stereotypes exist for a reason. They're funny. Sometimes not all the
time, but yes, when itcomes to country music and people who don't
like it, this song is prettyfunny. I'm Johnny Wild, I'm Big
ninety seventy nine, and that iswild sound today. It's this song what
(00:21):
bro country sounds like to people whojust don't like country. Drug Jeans,
beer girl, pete boots, drug, tan legs, train, gold beer,
Dixie Choke, got a beer andmy beer sebby and my drug,
got a dog at the wheels,flood off Jeans, come on, dirt
Road, pot Road, Deer moonLine, Red white and blue, Neural
(00:43):
Friday Night. And then they goon to sing some more stuff. It's
all pretty relatable, but the chorus, the last part is funny. Check
it out. Dirt Road, potRoad, Deer moon Line, red white
and blue, dr Friday, Fish, baked taale Ogate, small town y'all,
big song, whisky song, fakeSouthern draw, I'm out red dirty
(01:06):
man Farm, double wild beer,beer beer, and I'm proud of my
bride, Got a beer, beerand a semi and my drug, got
a dog at the wheel, cutoff Jean, beer and dr Yes,
there you go. I think that'sfunny, very funny, and that is
(01:27):
wild sound with me Johnny Wild onBig ninety seven nine. It's the Big
Morning Show with Johnny Wild on Bigninety seven nine. My brother and his
family have been visiting for spring breakand their five year old daughter, my
niece, is just too much.She is as cute as she can be,
(01:48):
and she knows her stuff too.We talked about her March Madness bracket.
So Ellie, tell everybody how oldyou are? A fine, You're
five and you're so c and doyou like basketball? Yes, so let's
talk about the bracket because you andyour dad just filled one out. Why
do you like TCU because the coloris purple? Is that your favorite?
(02:13):
But they're not the Unicorns is?Aren't you a big Unicorn fan? No,
One'm a big Mermaid fan. Whoelse do you like? I like
South Carolina? Oh yeah? Whydo you like them? Because I've been
there and I like the songs Carolina? You like the song Heads Carolina.
Well, that's a reason to likethe Game Cocks, I guess, although
it could be Heads Carolina Tails Oregon? You never know? Who else?
(02:38):
Do you like? Kansas? And? As you say, wise come because
my mom's mom lives there. Ohsee. I like how you've related all
your favorite teams to family. Ithink that's pretty neat. How about Colgate
versus Baylor, and Colgate is nota toothpaste? By the way, did
you think it was? Yes?Which one did you pick for that game?
(03:00):
I picked Baylor? And why isthat? Because my brother's name Baylor.
That's right, he is a giantbrother, by the way, Yes,
all right? How about that UtahState TCU game? Since you like
Purple and TCU, who's winning thatTCU? Ellie, do you know who
the mascot of TCU is? Barneythe Dinosaur? Barney the Dinosaur? Do
(03:23):
you want me to talk like Barney? I love TCU, Dear Purple like
me? I love you. You'reweird, Uncle Johnny. I know that's
old gay little one Johnny Wild inthe Morning on ninety seven nine the other
(03:46):
around, Boys and girls of oldages. It's time for Wild Animal Stories.
I still can't believe that's an AIvoice that I used. Yes,
Episode two of Wild Animal Stories.And this one's already a classic. A
cow crashed an outdoor wedding on afarm in the UK. Its comedy timing
was perfect right when the does anyoneobject question was asked in order to proceed,
(04:14):
I must now ask if any personhere, wait, what was that
notice of any lawful should not bejoined in that? You should declare it
(04:40):
now non bovine name. This fritsis so appropriate and proper. Didn't phase
her at all. Wait to gocow. That was great. I guess
they still got married even though therewas the objection. Oh this story.
The New Orleans Police Department has arat problem and they're superintendent told the city
(05:00):
council they've been eating weed from theevidence room. Here is the police superintendent.
The rats eating are marijuana, they'reall high. The uncleanliness is off
the charts. Rodent infestation. Peopleshouldn't have to come to their office and
see rodent troopines on their desk.That is not valuing your people in the
(05:25):
evidence property room major rodents. Therats eating are marijuana, they're all high.
Oh yuck. That is just nasty. Rats are so gross and high
ones are even worse. They're stonefat, lazy, playing video games all
day and evening and eating everything insight. And that's why pod is bad
(05:47):
exactly. And there you go.Wild animal stories ready, Johnny Wild in
the Morning on Big ninety seventy nine, I'm Johnny, I'm Big ninety seven
to nine. Oh my goodness,Poor Kelly. She texted me and said,
you gave me earworms, not one, but two. You know what
an earworm is, right, Asong you can't get out of your head.
(06:10):
So earlier on Wild Sound, Itold the story about this twenty five
year old woman from Vegas. She'sgot about as many tats as Jelly Roll
does, ninety seven on her body. One of them on her right arm
is a QR code and when youscan her QR tattoo, guess what you
get? Well, earworm number one, Yeah, you get rickrolled. She
(06:38):
and her friends rickroll each other alot, and she wanted to top everyone.
She said. Random people will askif they can scan her arm.
Well, of course, by theway, that took four hours and cost
two hundred and fifty bucks. Andthen I said, well, it'd be
funny if they tattoo the wrong songon your arm, and here's earworm number
(07:00):
two. Yeah, and Kelly,our listeners said, I cannot get this
out of my head now. Iam really really sorry. Johnny Wild in
the Morning see ninety well, Idon't think this girl was bottoms up,
(07:28):
but she was topless and what shewas doing at her front yard is interesting.
We'll make that part of stupid Newscoming up. I'm Johnny Wild on
Big ninety seventy nine. It's stupidyou guys, look stupid you saying I'm
stupid dum for stupid news. Firstup, This will make you doubt the
(07:48):
government even more. To get ninemillion in pandemic aid litl Wayne pledged to
operate a quote drug free workplace,and of FEDS believed in gave him nine
million bucks. If you don't knowLil Wayne, he is a big fan
of marijuana. He often smokes onpodcasts and on stage. The word baked
(08:11):
is tattooed on his forehead. Intwenty nineteen, he even launched a marijuana
brand. But somehow, in twentytwenty one, Lil Wayne told the government
his touring company was a drug freeworkplace post malone. Same thing. Ten
(08:31):
million in pandemic aid. She wis? What is going on? I don't
get it. Here's a twenty sevenyear old woman in South Carolina was arrested
earlier this month after a neighbor complainedshe was in her front yard screaming and
doing jumping jacks. Of course shewas topless. I mean, why wouldn't
(08:52):
she be right? How else doyou do jumping jacks the right way?
She was charged with obscene exposure.Couldn't have been a guy that called the
cops. I'll bet one hundred buckson that. That just doesn't happen.
Johnny Wild in the morning. Thereare the big things you need to know.
You can repeat some of these atwork. Sound kind of smart.
(09:15):
Mega millions at nearly nine hundred milliontonight, you probably already knew that.
And between both that and the Powerball, we're well over a billion and a
half. Do you have Snapchat dysmorphiaor maybe your kids? You know,
I already told you about my AIgenerated headshots that I did over the weekend
and love, but I might notbe able to go out and have surgery
(09:37):
and look exactly like that. Andthey're saying that all these filters that are
on, you know, social mediaapps like Snapchat can be really dangerous because
especially teens, they want to goout and spend money and try to attain
that look and they're not real.The government is trying to step in to
(09:58):
stop fast food play from having icecream machines that are always broken. Now
that's real annoying. I get that, But is this really what our government
needs to be spending time on.I could think of, Oh, I
don't know a hundred things they needto work on. Besides that. Remember
this chick from Doctor Phil kick meout? How about that? Cut you
(10:22):
outside? What does that mean?What I just say? How about that?
How about that? You thought you'dnever hear from her again? Right?
Well, yeah, she's in thenews because she's now a mother herself.
Remember her mom was on stage onthat Doctor Phil show, just completely
oblivious and utterly embarrassed that her daughteracts like that. Just remember karma,
(10:50):
kick me off? How about that? Wait? You want me to catch
you outside? What does that mean? What I just say? I don't
get it that? How about what? How about that? All right?
You're dumb? Hey, good luckwith parenting? Kick me off? How
about that? Johnny Wild in themorning see ninety seven nine. Johnny Wild
(11:11):
here on Big ninety seventy nine.It is time for Wild Sound, and
today it's the music of BUCkies.Yeah for real. You know, everybody
makes a big deal about the foodand the super clean restrooms at BUCkies.
But how about their in store soundtrack? Did you know about this? Popular
songs, all customized? Check itout, Bucky, I'm amazed to all
(11:39):
time. But when she says,by game, hit me Bucky one more
time? Oh bucket, Bucket,someone else calling you Bucky, I mean,
it's pretty impressive. They've done this, and all kinds of people go
there, so there's all kinds ofmusic. Shake Dead healthy, But Bucky
(12:01):
got back. You're in there shoppingfor fudge and realized, wait a minute,
did that song just say Bucky gotback? Buggy got back? Yep,
it sure did. Wait to goBUCkies. You know we should get
them a channel on the iHeart app. I'd listen to that. You are
in the morning. Would you bemad if you told your your parents,
(12:26):
your your baby's grandparents, Hey,don't pierce my baby's ears. Uhh,
I don't do it and they didit anyway. So a woman posted,
my mom and dad are Mexican andI'm an American citizen. I'm on a
visit with them in Mexico, andmy parents got my one year old daughter
ear rings for her birthday, andmy daughter's ears are not pierced. I
told them, Hey, I'll savethese for her when she's old enough to
(12:50):
get her ears pierced. We leftmy daughter with my parents and went to
meet with some friends. You seewhere this is going. When we went
to pick up my daughter, mymom showed us what they had taken her
to do. Look, we gother ears pierced. The woman and her
husband grabbed the baby, took off, and told her parents that the only
way they're gonna see this baby againis if they came with both of their
(13:15):
noses pierced, and so far they'vestuck to that demand. Yeah, I'd
be mad too. Hey, justwait till they change the kids diaper and
see that tramp stamp tattoo. That'sgonna be trouble. You know, some
relationships aren't meant to be long term, and it ends up for the good
of humanity. I'm Johnny Wilde,this big ninety seven to nine this morning,
(13:37):
and it's time for the good stuff. Yeah, man, that's the
good stuff. So what I meanby that is this. For example,
billionaire philanthropist Mackenzie Scott, who isthe former wife of Jeff Bezos, reveals
she has now given away another sixhundred and forty million bucks to over three
(14:00):
hundred and sixty one organizations. Thiswoman is amazing. She has given away
over seventeen billion. That's with ab of her sixty billion dollar fortune.
Here's a recipient that has ALS.It's him and his wife and someone on
zoom and she's telling them that they'vegotten money for their ALS foundation. It's
(14:22):
a little hard to hear, butthe first part she says, I have
two pieces of good news, twopieces of nas The first is that we
got McKenzie's got and the most twotwo million dollars. I'm sorry. It
kind of hits home for me becausemy wife's mom died of ALS. It's
(14:46):
a terrible, terrible disease and itneeds a lot of funding as well as
a lot of diseases and causes doso. McKenzie is amazing. The world
needs more people like her. Percentagewise, she's donated way more than her
ex who is worth nearly two hundredbillion dollars. But that's incredible. Good
job. That's the good on Bigninety seven nine. Well, I don't
(15:13):
know if this crazy idea is goingto turn into a franchise. I guess
we'll see. I'm Johnny Wilde I'mchuffling and this is big ninety seven nine.
There's a new pop up in NewYork City. It's the Crying Spa.
The name of it is the SobParlor. Yeah, and it's a
it's a cry spob. You gothere to have a quick cry, then
(15:37):
you leave. Anthony Villatoli is theSob Parlor's founder. He says that people
in need of an emotional release canbook thirty minute appointments in a private cry
room. Okay, private cry room. I'm with you so far, and
(15:58):
you're welcome to come cry on yourlunch break and then maybe go right back
to work. But that seems likethe opposite because normally you're crying at work,
then fine at lunch, then yougo back to work and cry some
more. He says. The SobParlor attendees are usually dealing with grief or
loss, maybe some stress at workor bad situation at home, but the
(16:21):
number one reason, he says,is heartache after experiencing a bad breakup.
The cost for the half hour istwenty bucks and that doesn't seem that bad.
It should be way more. Andthey give you the bill at the
beginning, just to help you getstarted. You know, and if you're
thirty minutes are up and you stillhaven't cried, I guess he'll arrange to
have your car stolen. Johnny wildin the morning on Big ninety seven nine,
(16:47):
I caved into AI again, people, and I love it. I'm
Johnny Wilde. I'm Big ninety sevento nine. So you might remember about
a week ago I told you howI used an AI voice for a feature
I'm doing here. I'll play itfor you again. I gather around boys
and girls of old ages. It'stime for wild animal stories. Yeah,
(17:10):
that's computer generated and it was exactlywhat I needed. But I felt bad
because you know, I could havehad a voiceover person do that. Well,
it happened again over the weekend.I was looking for a photo to
use for the artwork on the newJohnny wild podcast, and yes, it
went up over the weekend. Youcan check it out on the iHeart app,
(17:30):
Spotify, Apple Music, etc.So the photo I chose originally,
my wife disliked and my kids absolutelyhated it. They were all ganging up
on me in text message making funand honestly they were right. It was
a bad photo. But listen,I don't like any of my current pictures.
I haven't had professional headshots made inten years, and I cannot seem
(17:52):
to find anything on my phone thatworks. So Saturday morning, I'm scrolling
through Facebook and I an ad.I click on said ad for AI generated
headshots. It's basically like a superfilter for your photos, and I thought,
all right, what the heck,It's only sixty bucks, and if
(18:12):
it even does half of what theyclaim, I might have a shot or
two I can use. So Iquickly take six to seven random selfies in
different parts of the house and theseare garbage too. I'm up against different
backgrounds and lighting, and so Iupload those and then I take four of
(18:32):
those ten year old headshots I haveand I upload those two. An hour
later, I get to notice thatmy new AI generated headshots are here.
Holy filters, these are amazing.I couldn't believe how great they look.
And yes, they still look likeme, a much brighter, hotter version
of me. But my kids,my wife, and friends they agreed that
(18:56):
these totally work without looking over thetop. And I seriously have at least
fifty picks to download, and I'dsay a good I don't know, twelve
to twenty of them are usable andlisten. I don't want to put photogs
out of biz, but I gottatell you these are amazing. I could
be a realtor maybe a CEO ofa bank, a tech billionaire, or
(19:21):
run for office or the reason Idid them artwork for my podcast. Now
you gotta go download it on theiHeart app and see the picture. AI
you scary, scary good get upwith Johnny Wilde in the morning. Every
morning home be ninety said A nine. If I didn't love you, I'd
(19:42):
be loving I don't know nine otherwives. That's what this guy's doing.
Good stupid news. I don't knowwhy dudes keep trying to pull this off.
It just makes no sense to me. Here's a Texas guy busted for
marrying over ten and women. Hisname's Orlando Coleman. He was pretending to
(20:03):
be a bishop who traveled to churchesaround the country and after tying the not
with each one of them, hewould take advantage of the women for financial
gain and it all came crashing downwhen he wed the wrong girl from Houston.
She found checks from the other womenstarted her own investigation. He was
sentenced this week to well only threeyears behind bars. And here's the twist.
(20:29):
He was already on probation for thesame offense when he got busted this
time. I can barely handle onewife and two exes. What is wrong
with this guy? What is wrongwith this dude? An Ohio father arrested
for continuously calling his kids elementary schooland then the police because his kid was
(20:52):
getting too much homework. Here area couple of Adam Sizemore's calls. Basically,
the parent didn't like that his childwas getting homework, so he decided
he was going to call the schooland call the school repeatedly, over and
over again. He calls dispatch.I think it was eighteen times roughly.
I want talk chief. Leave avoicemailoch he doesn't answer. I'm being very
(21:12):
nigh really well, then come tothe police department and we'll call the chief
in and you can talk to himin person. I pay for him.
He can come to my house.Well, I'm going to send some officers
out to your house to talk toyou in person, since you want to
stop calling. He sounds like afun time. I pay for him.
Hey, come to my house.Yeah, buddy, good job. Good
luck with that, and there yougo. Another edition of Stupid News.
(21:37):
Hey, I'm on there, shutup. Nuko's New Country and Johnny Wilde
on Big ninety seventy nine. Inall my years, I don't think I've
heard of this. I'm Johnny wildBig Natty's seven nine time Now for Wild
Sound. We have a theme.It's all bathroom related today, Jason Derulo.
(22:00):
Thus the music in the background stoppedmid show to go to the bathroom.
Hey, I guess when you gottago, you gotta go, even
if you're live in concert. Inthe middle of a song, Nature called
during one of his songs in Englandand he actually asked the crowd to excuse
him that they were not pleased.Guys, I'm so sorry, but do
(22:26):
you mind. Let's just gonna usethe bathroom real quick. But I really
gotta go, man. Tough crowd, for sure. That is that is
interesting, unbelievable. Our next bathroomstory, boxes of toilet paper fell off
(22:48):
of a truck on the LA Freeway. Is a chp cleaning up a very
very large amount of toilet paper thatapparently has spilled off the back of a
truck. That person pulled to theright and called nine one said I'm so
sorry. But all the toilet paperhas come off my truck. And now
you can see the very brave membersof the California Highay Patrol are there scooping
(23:10):
the toilet paper off to the shoulder. But you know, the CHP,
it's a dirty job. Someone's gotto clean up other ways. Hey,
oh, those wacky news people onTV. Hey, that delivery truck must
have had a wipeout. Okay,there you go. That is wild sid
(23:30):
I almost said stupid news. Itcould have gone either way. Big ninety
seven nights, the Rams took itto the Cavaliers from the get go.
Last night, I can't believe Virginiaonly scored fourteen points by half. I
gotta look up that. That hasto be a d one bad record.
(23:51):
And I knew it was over thensixty seven forty two final score. Rams
move on to play the Longhorns tomorrownight in Charlotte. See you plays their
Way in tonight and we'll see howthat goes. So with March madness really
getting started tomorrow, can you getzero right? That means zero? Pepsi
(24:15):
is using AI, No, notartificial intelligence, but the real AI.
Alan iverson in this commercial for Pepsizero sugar and PEPSI is rewarding people for
getting those bracket picks completely wrong,like zero right, and the odds really
aren't in your favor. It's kindof hard. You normally will get at
(24:40):
least a few if you don't knowanything just by you know, fifty to
fifty chance, but you could winup to one hundred thousand dollars. That
actually sounds fun. I like that. Well. I totally forgot to mention
last week that Frontier Airlines now letsyou pay to guarantee a middle seat that's
in. Yeah, it's just youand a middle seat and then somebody on
(25:04):
the other side. Apparently it's notas much as buying an entire other seat.
Uh. This seems novel for passengers, but a terrible business idea.
I doubt this last year. Inother news, Frontier is now charging extra
for seat belts. Yes I'm kidding, but don't you feel like they charge
(25:25):
you for every single thing? Sir? That flotation device that's gonna be ten
bucks. You only need to getup and get gold. Come on,
now, get on up with JohnnyWilde in the morning on Big ninety seven
nine. We might just have toburn the entire grocery store down after this.
I'm Johnny wild I'm Big ninety sevento nine, and it's time for
the news. Oh stupidity. Youguys look stupid. Are you saying I'm
(25:49):
stupid dud stupid news? Well,unfortunately this is from Colorado, a Colorado
man, which is soon going toturn into Florida man if these things keep
happening. He got busted after allegedlygetting frisky with some fruits, vegetables,
(26:10):
and baked goods at the grocery store. Oh yeah, he's facing all kinds
of charges. Here's the police chieftalking about it. You see, mister
Missalta was an employee at fourteen twentysix East Harmony wrote the safeway. It
was items of food that weren't commerciallysealed. Again, we have many more
videos to go through, but inwhat we have already seen, we have
(26:33):
multiple victims and we have multiple felonycharges against mister Massalta. When he says
multiple victims, is that like cucumbers, eggplants, and breadsticks. And if
those veggies could talk, oh mygoodness, they would all say we were
masalted. Mark. Come on nowwith Johnny Wilde in the morning on Big
(26:56):
ninety seven nine. I didn't knowwhether this you go in stupid news or
the good stuff, so I decidedthat wild sound worked best for this.
An Oklahoma family got a free roofwhen a contractor mixed up the address and
accidentally tore up a random Holmes roof. Oops. Thankfully they made good on
(27:18):
this honest mistake and gave the familya whole new roof for free. Well
don't you have to. Here's Deborahand Scott at center and Doug Gray,
the owner of the roofing and constructioncompany, talking about the new roof.
Oh my gosh, we didn't ordera roof. I think it was about
eighty percent off when they realized themistake. And that's when we get the
(27:42):
phone call. Oh wow, howcan we make this mistake? But here's
what we can do to fix it. They were very gracious, very sweet,
They understood little shocked, obviously.It was really pretty smack him.
Yeah, that's nice. I wouldn'tput that in your commercial, though.
This happens from time to time.You know, the concrete guys rip up
(28:03):
the wrong driveway. I just wishthe neighbors landscaping people would accidentally do our
yard instead. Komodo dragon, atax zookeeper. I'm Johnny Wild, I'm
big ninety seven nine. Guess whatother around boys and girls of old ages.
It's time for Wild Animal Stories.Well this would officially be episode number
(28:26):
three of Wild Animal Stories. Soa whole neighborhood in Pennsylvania has been working
together to find a deer with ajug on its head that's been roaming the
area for weeks. Luckily, Lisaand Matt Mertz were able to grab the
deer and get the jug off itshead before the deer starved. Here they
(28:48):
are talking about it. We hadsquatted the deer, and you know,
Lisa said, mount I got thedeer. We ran over and she approached
it from the front, and youknow, I kind of like snuck up
on it from the back. ThenI was able to turn my body and
secure him safely until Matt was ableto hold him from behind and we could
work together to get the container offhis head. We're huge animal lovers,
and you could just tell him thelook on its face that it was starting
(29:11):
to wear down and it was allin God's hands to handle it, and
we were able to figure it out. M Man, how about some applause
for those two right there. Yes, good job. Well, someone needs
to brush up on how to trainyour dragon. The akron Ohio Zoo is
(29:32):
investigating what led to a Komodo dragonattack in the Komodo Kingdom. Employee service
area staff member is recovering from injuriesfrom multiple bite wounds out. These things
can reach up to ten feet inlength and weigh up to three hundred pounds.
They don't like humans in their servicearea, weekends that go by way
(29:53):
too fast, negativity and bad vibes. Oh, and they don't like people
touching their food in the employee freeso don't do that. And that is
wild animal stories, get out ofwhich Johnny Wild in the Morning on Big
ninety seventy nine, Noko's New Country
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