May 18, 2024 • 26 mins
Is Your Partner Phubbing, AI Version of You, What Singers Would Sound Like Falling Down The Stairs, Ankle Socks Make You Old, Who Women Confide In, What's Up With That, Cartman Sings Paint It Black, Bagpipes Follow Principal All Day, WVA Residents Like Old Cars In Yard, Canadians Dressed As Dinosaurs, Rock Stars Sounding Like Appliances
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
It is time for Johnny Wilde inthe Morning on Big ninety seven nine,
chuffling. Oh, you know that'sright, shuffling the internet to find funny
pieces of audio like this one forWild Sound. These are rock and pop
stars that either sound like you know, household appliances or even mechanical things like
(00:23):
Robert Plant from Led Zeppelin as afork left Okay, here's Kurt Cobain as
a coffee grinder, yeah, totally, David Lee Roth as popcorn city.
(01:03):
Oh, I want to set theseOzzy Osbourne windshield wipers. Okay. And
here's the King of Pop as anold school dot matrix printer. If you're
old enough to remember that, Wow, those are all pretty fantastic. And
(01:30):
there you go. That is WildSound by everyone. Johnny wild in the
Morning, in the Morning on Bigninety seventy nine. What's up with that?
What's up with that? What's upwith that? This will happen to
about twenty percent of all drivers today. All right, twenty percent of all
(01:52):
drivers. This will happen today.I'll tell you. At the end of
this is your partner fubbing your relationship. If you're fubbing in bed, you're
hurting your relationship. Fubbing is acombination of the words phone and snubbing,
and it's when someone is ignoring youand paying more attention to their mobile device.
(02:16):
Leave the phone on the nightstand.That all should be well, babe,
stop fubbing me. Tick talkers areslathering their faces in butt paste.
That's actually diaper cream. Butt pasteis funnier, of course. Another term
for this is face basting. Whomakes up this stuff? It is a
(02:39):
way of moisturizing. Just seems weirdthough, And for Mental Health Awareness Week
McDonald's in the UK, I wantto stress that is dropping the smile logo
from Happy Meals and they're also droppingthe happy and just calling it the meal.
(03:00):
Oh boy, I don't forrest.Where are you? That's all I
have to say about that out right? Okay, this will happen to about
twenty percent of all drivers today.What is it? The low fuel light
comes on? That sounds like mywife again? First, yore, what's
(03:27):
up with that? What's up withthat? I'm Big ninety seven nine.
Come on now with Johnny Wilde inthe morning on Big ninety seven nine.
You can now leave an AI copyof yourself behind when you die. Oh
weird. It's Johnny, I'm bigninety seven nine nok. I appreciate you
(03:49):
listening. So, a sixty oneyear old German Man with terminal cancer is
in the news because he spent monthstraining an AI program to act just like
him so it can interact with hisfamily and answer questions even after he's gone.
He is the first customer for aservice called Eternos that create your AI
(04:12):
double. WHOA, I don't know, man, this is getting way too
weird. You tell it your thoughtsand memories, so it learns to mimic
your personality, your voice. Itcan even generate new ideas similar to what
you might think up. I thinkthe keyword there is similar. They asked
him about one hundred and fifty questionsabout himself and his life, and he
(04:36):
spent several weeks answering them at length. So the point is to give your
family something to interact with once you'regone, so they can ask questions and
go to you for quote advice.Even Michael's great great grandchildren will be able
to talk to him, which that'sneat, but it's not really him.
(05:00):
So he and his wife got tosee his AI in action for the first
time last month, and we're bothimpressed. She asked it to say something
nice to her before bed, andin his exact voice, it said,
my love half, sweet dreams,and I love you so very much.
Wow. Hilarious. If what hassaid something like, hey, it's been
(05:25):
a few nights, you want toknock boots or what you know? I
think that'd be great. I'm JohnnyWilde, I'm big ninety seven to nine.
Get up with Johnny Wilde in themorning every morning. Nine. Okay,
so ladies, you stuck around forthis, didn't you. Who do
you share your intimate secrets with?More than half of women admit they reveal
(05:48):
it to their hairstylist things they wouldn'tdare share with anyone else. This study
reveals many women are happy to spillthe means to their hair stylists about sensitive
issues like money, worries, infidelity, workplace secrets, and more. Fifteen
percent of women say they've made abig life decision based on a conversation with
(06:13):
their hairstylists. Oh, yes,you should leave him. He's a dudd
Wow. I mean she is theonly one that really knows what color your
roots are? Am I right?Uh? Huh? Just saying McDonald's is
finally considering adding a five dollars mealback to its menu to coax customers back
into restaurants they've taken a hit fora while now. The meal could include
(06:34):
a choice of either a McChicken mcdouble, four piece nuggets, fries, and
a drink. Yeah, hey,I just want to know where's my ninety
nine cent double cheeseburger. That wasmy go to for years. I miss
it. You're gonna need that fivedollars meal to afford this. A new
report from Zillo finds that the averagerent in the US is just right at
(06:58):
two grand two grand a month,and we know many places in Colorado are
higher than that. So tenants willnow bring need to bring thirty six percent
more money than they did in twentynineteen. Thirty six percent more. That
is insane. I guarantee your payhadn't gone up that much. That also
means a renter would need a salaryof nearly eighty thousand a year to comfortably
(07:25):
afford a rental home at that price. Man, what is going up?
We are upside down for sure.I don't like that at all. And
there you go. Those are thebig things you need to know and if
you don't know, not just knowyou know Big ninety seven nine Mornings with
Johnny Wilde. So, last hourI mentioned a story about how you can
(07:47):
now leave an AI copy of yourselfbehind when you die. It cost like
fifteen grand. This guy in Germanywith terminal cancer is in the news because
he's the first one to do it. He's spent months train this program to
act and talk just like him soit can interact with his family and answer
questions even after he's gone. Isthat spooky or is it the most awesome
(08:11):
thing you've ever heard? And we'regetting some comments on the big text line,
which is three three one zero three. Now when you text in,
just start your text with the wordbig. Okay, So, Kim and
Longmont said, the AI thing isalready getting out of hand. I don't
(08:31):
like it, and I feel itwill ruin the world literally and figuratively.
Kim, A lot of people feelthat way. Totally get it. But
James and Windsor said, Johnny lovethe show. Thank you. James.
Think about how neat it would beto talk to your old man and just
have somewhat of a conversation. Well, yeah, I would love to talk
(08:52):
to Willie. Bill that'd be great, he says, Yes, everything is
new and different, and it's weirdat first, but I guarantee you most
people would absolutely love it. James, I get it, but I'm just
worried it would be stuff we youknow, maybe we really don't want to
hear like this. Now, thanksto a I, your parents can talk
(09:16):
to you forever. Wipe that smileoff your face, or I'll do it
for you. Just have your momor dad input memories and their voice.
Money doesn't grow on Teresa. Youknow, I'll wash your mouth out with
soap and you'll be able to listento them in perpetuity. Close the door
where you're raised in a bar.Stop crying, or I'll give you something
to cry about. Your loved one'svoices will live forever. I brought you
(09:37):
into this world, and I'll justas soon take you out. Your face
is going to freeze that way.Nightmares, cold sweats, and counseling not
included. Don't make me pull thiscar over. See exactly you are listening
to Wild in the morning time.Now for Wild Sound, we have a
theme two Canadian stories. Let's dartup with this. When a man in
(10:00):
Canada claims that he was swiping throughthe McDonald's app while waiting in the drive
through, and that's when a policeofficer ticketed him for using his phone in
the car. Apparently you can't dothat. There here is Mason talking about
getting his tickets barely even moving.I'm just rolling and I go like this,
(10:22):
open up my McDonald's app, andI look in my rearview mirror and
there's a motorcycle copyind Mit, Schulman. I'm like, I'm on my McDonald's
up. I'm floating up the coderight now to get a free meal.
I did think he was just gonnalet me go because I'm just trying to
get a free meal. Turns outto be a very expensive lunch, no
doubt. It was an almost sixhundred dollars fine. I can't believe the
(10:43):
cop wrote him up like that.That's weird. A record attempt in Canada
for the most people dressed as dinosaursfailed because too many showed up. The
record is two hundred and fifty two. They think they had over six thousand
people in costume dinosaur costumes, butofficials weren't ready for that many and didn't
(11:07):
get an official count hold on ifwe want is welding too fast? Listen
to these two hosers. They aredressed up as dinosaurs at the event.
It's fun. Everybody should do itonce in their life, Fay, and
get you out and enjoying the day. I hope we break the world record.
This is just awesome. I'm soglad they put this on out here.
(11:30):
This is our territory, this isdinosaur land. Okay, that first
guy might be the best representation ofa stereotypical Canadian I've ever heard. Fun.
Everybody should do it once in theirlife, Fay. Hey, hey,
do you think all those t rexeslive in Texas? Der Johnny Wild
in the morning. So here's someedits of different singers and what they would
(11:58):
sound like fall down the stairs.We'll start off first with Michael Jackson.
I bet that is exactly what itwould sound like. Here's David Lee Roth
(12:18):
who how about Johnny Cash? Oh, went down, down down? I
feel Oh, we gotta get toElvis here. What would Whitney Houston sound
like falling down the stairs? Okay? Perfect? Tom Petty free falling,
(12:46):
let's do it? Yeah, okay, James Hetfield from Metallica, Oh,
man, these are great. Andone more Steven Tyler from Arrowsmith. Wow,
(13:13):
that is unbelievable. And there yougo. That is wild sound Johnny
Wild and ninety seven nine. Well, if you wear ankle sucks, supposedly
you're old now, Johnny Wild,I'm big ninety seven nine, appreciate you
listening, Noko, thank you somuch. Well, here's another fine example
(13:35):
of how either millennials or now genZers have ruined everything. And I can
say that because I have a wholegroup of them. I've got four kids
that are either millennials or gen Zers, actually five. If you put my
stepson, who's fifteen in there,let's throw him in there. Yep,
gen Z has now killed ankle socks. Look around the gym or the store.
(14:00):
No one under thirty will be wearingthem. And of course it's hard
to find people under thirty its storesanyway, another thing they've helped ruin.
Of course, we all remember aday where if you wore calf socks or
God forbid socks up to your knee, you were your father, you'd get
laughed out of school. I caneven remember being mortified or embarrassed if my
(14:24):
mother patched up my jeans and youcould see the patch, or worse,
if there was a hole, becausethen you look poor. All my jeans
will look like that right now,and I'm sure that's probably also out of
style. So gen zers now prefercruise socks. Where did this come from?
(14:45):
You know, cru socks They goup about mid calf, which means
Grandpa is cool again, assuming he'sstill rocking those. So speaking of feeling
old, there's another thread online wherepeople are sharing the subtle moments when they
think I'm old. Now here aresome of the best ones. I started
thinking policemen look too young to bein charge of anything. I have an
(15:11):
app for identifying bird calls. Istarted sympathizing with the parents in teen movies.
Yeah, oh, this one Irelate to completely. I hate unnecessary
noise. You're old, right exactly? I am. I'm almost always tired,
(15:31):
not sleepy tired, more like feelingjust tired. Here's a gal who
got excited about buying a steam up. Well, why wouldn't you, that's
a big deal. Oh yeah,this lady was chatting with someone and they
compared her to her mother. Oh, when's the first time that happened?
(15:52):
You don't forget that here's another comment. I consider nine pm a reasonable time
to say, oh, it's abouttime to hit the hay, and of
course just saying hit the hay.Yeah, And of course my wife and
I talk about this all the timewhen we're watching SNL. We're like,
who's this host, who's the musicalguest? Who are these people? We
(16:15):
don't know? And then finally,once you get to the point where you
have two doctor's appointments on the sameday, oh yeah, it's basically over
at that point. But I stillcan't get past the fact that gen zers
will wear these calf socks that allof a sudden, ankle socks are totally
(16:38):
so uncool and a sign of beingold. You people are weird. Johnny
Wild in the morning weekday mornings onBig ninety seven nine, Well, I'm
Jonathan. If you know anything aboutme, I'm big into voiceover. I
did audition for The Simpsons back innineteen ninety seven when they were on strike,
and then those stupid you're staying theirnew contract? No, yeah,
(17:04):
and I did get a callback fromthe casting director. But I'm not nearly
as cool as Maggie Roswell, wholives here in Colorado and is a regular
voice still on the Simpsons, andyears ago we had her do somebodies of
mine that I work with. Theyhad her do a this song I'm gonna
(17:26):
play for you. If you rememberthe Sherry Bobbins episode of The Simpsons where
she sounds like Mary Poppins, thiswill make total sense. That's her anyway.
Here's the story and why I'm usingit. Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie
are reuniting on Peacock. Okay,they're coming out with a new show.
It's been more than twenty years sinceThe Simple Life, and they were part
(17:48):
of the famous Blonde Bimbo explosion inthe early two thousand. She had Paris,
Nicole Britney eat Lindsay Lohan, PamelaAnderson and Anna Nicole Smith and the
tabloid media went crazy over him fora few years. So now that that's
coming back, I thought I'd pullthis little ditty out from the Wild Sound
(18:10):
Hall of Fame. Let's do it. It's Lindsey, Brittany, Nicol Richie,
Pamela and Paris. I am overjosing on celebrity awareness. Tawboyds think
I'm interested, but I could reallycare. Let's lady Brittany Nicole, Richie
Pamel on Paris, on magazine andTV shows. I always see these blondes.
(18:32):
I honestly can tell you that theygive me the right. They stand
in front of camera raus each dayto make a please wild plane that they
really do not want the city Britannicalready spoiled London, Mars. We're never
get embarrassed, Lindy Brittany Nickel.Yes, how about that man? She
(18:57):
is good. Maggie Roswell there Colorado. I don't know if she's a native,
but she lives here and is stillon the Simpsons. Great stuff.
Hope you enjoyed. I'm Johnny wildI'm Big ninety seven nine. Ready,
Johnny Wilde in the morning on Bigninety seven nine. What's up with that?
(19:18):
What's up with that? All right? What's up with that? Twelve
percent of us, well, westill have this from elementary school. Twelve
percent of us have this from elementaryschool. I will tell you at the
end of this. A police bustin Australia found over seven hundred pounds of
(19:41):
drugs inside life sized transformer statues.One of them was named Optimeth Prime.
My dame is Optameth prime. Imade that up. I don't know weird
and wacky things found in sewers,so they were flushed. A the Explore
action figure, which obviously went onquite an explorative adventure. A Kendall was
(20:06):
in there too, pieces of agarden shed, false teeth, underwear,
a chopped up bed frame. Allof these things have been flushed. Lots
of eyeglasses, many wallets, manymany keys and car tires. Is there
a sewage department lost and found?Can you imagine? Have you seen my
false teeth? New pole? Askpeople what their first reaction is when they
(20:33):
get an unexpected knock at the door. Thirty four percent say they're curious,
twenty five percent are annoyed, andfive percent are excited like the dogs.
I gotta tell you, I'm nowin the annoyed category that meet him getting
old? You kids, get offmy lawn and don't bring my dormaille.
(20:53):
All right. Twelve percent of usstill have this from elementary school. Our
best friend. I don't even rememberwho that is. Of course, my
wife, who has four different setsof school friends, says she still keeps
in touch with her elementary best friend. Of course she does. And I
(21:15):
said this to her last night,What's up with that? What's up with
that? Pig? Donty seven nimes? Get on up with Johnny Wilde in
the morning every morning. Homb nineWell students at this school in Illinois pulled
a senior prank on their principle.They hired a bagpiper to follow him around
(21:40):
for an hour. Oh won't Ilove the bagpipes, but at the same
time, they still kind of makemy skin crawl. It's a fascinating piece
of musical equipment, for sure.The principal was a good sport and he
(22:00):
even praised the kids for coming upwith the idea. So that's good,
you know, no harm done.Uh, this is kind of neat because
I love impressions. Here is aa songcover guy on Instagram who does all
of his song covers as Cartman fromSouth Park and he's got the voice down
pat and he's also playing the guitaron this one. This is painted black
(22:22):
by the Stones. Check it out, Cartman, No damn turn back.
That's good. Behave and see whenI see something like this, I can't
(22:48):
turn it off. And painting,but I think you get the idea.
And he kind of looks like himtoo. If Cartman was around forty with
a big black beard, it'd bethis guy that is wild child wild in
the morning. So I saw thislist and it made me think of,
(23:11):
you know, the whole first worldproblems, like problems that we're fortunate enough
to have. Four hundred international hotelworkers were asked to share some unusual grumbles
and diva like demands, and someof these were probably from regular people.
Are you ready the sheets are toowhite? Can you imagine going downstairs to
(23:33):
the front desk and complaining that thesheets are too white, or that the
sea is too blue, the icecream was too cold in the restaurant,
the bathtub was too big, allright, let's see the hotel had no
ocean view. Well, they werein the middle of England, you dummy.
(23:56):
The mother of the groom wasn't giventhe honey sweet Why would you,
lady, you're the mother of thegroom. You're not even the mother of
the bride at this point, andthat's just weird. And then here are
some other unusual hotel requests. Oneglass of water on the hour, every
(24:17):
hour through the night. Oh,before I continue with this, we have
a friend who likes to play stumpthe broad More. You know the broad
More down in Colorado Springs beautiful.I love that place. We've been there
one time and it's magnificent and theirstaff is so nice. But he he
will play stump the staff like hewould ask for fifteen cucumbers a day for
(24:38):
the toilet to be filled with mineralwater and they would probably do it,
or if he's in the restaurant,he would go, I only want the
right legs of my hen to beserved to me. And then finally somebody
asked for a bath of chocolate milk, sixteen pillows for a single guest and
(24:59):
croc it soup. Oh listen,I can tell you what soup you're gonna
get, buddy, don't even askme this lord stupid news. Nineteen people
received letters last week from the townof Glasgow, West Virginia, saying the
junked cars on their property are nowin violation of a town ordinance. The
(25:21):
letter stated that the town has beguna beautification project and the cars are inoperative,
unlicensed, unregistered, they gotta go. Oh. It was standing room
only at the next city council meetingas residents lined up to argue if the
cars on their own property what thetown has to do with that. They
(25:42):
don't have the right to tell themwhat to do. As one resident put
it, when you come pay mytaxes, pay my bills, you can
tell me what you can do inmy yard. But until in no another
said, I brought me four carsa year North Carolina, and I've had
a mall for twenty years. Tome, they look better than your crap
(26:06):
or anybody else to crap up inhere. Okay, first they came for
the rusty cars. Oh, thenthey come for the porch couches. Watch
out. The mayor is standing behindthis ordinance. He said at the meeting.
We have some cars in this townthat have been sitting here for decades.
He said this quote. They wasrustbuckets, cats was just breeding in
(26:30):
them. Yeah, West Virginia,you're something else. Of course, when
the when the tempers settled down,everybody went back to their moonshine stills that
all was good. Get up withJohnny Wilde in the morning on Big ninety se
It is time for Johnny Wilde inthe Morning on Big ninety seven nine,
chuffling. Oh, you know that'sright, shuffling the internet to find funny
pieces of audio like this one forWild Sound. These are rock and pop
stars that either sound like you know, household appliances or even mechanical things like
(00:23):
Robert Plant from Led Zeppelin as afork left Okay, here's Kurt Cobain as
a coffee grinder, yeah, totally, David Lee Roth as popcorn city.
(01:03):
Oh, I want to set theseOzzy Osbourne windshield wipers. Okay. And
here's the King of Pop as anold school dot matrix printer. If you're
old enough to remember that, Wow, those are all pretty fantastic. And
(01:30):
there you go. That is WildSound by everyone. Johnny wild in the
Morning, in the Morning on Bigninety seventy nine. What's up with that?
What's up with that? What's upwith that? This will happen to
about twenty percent of all drivers today. All right, twenty percent of all
(01:52):
drivers. This will happen today.I'll tell you. At the end of
this is your partner fubbing your relationship. If you're fubbing in bed, you're
hurting your relationship. Fubbing is acombination of the words phone and snubbing,
and it's when someone is ignoring youand paying more attention to their mobile device.
(02:16):
Leave the phone on the nightstand.That all should be well, babe,
stop fubbing me. Tick talkers areslathering their faces in butt paste.
That's actually diaper cream. Butt pasteis funnier, of course. Another term
for this is face basting. Whomakes up this stuff? It is a
(02:39):
way of moisturizing. Just seems weirdthough, And for Mental Health Awareness Week
McDonald's in the UK, I wantto stress that is dropping the smile logo
from Happy Meals and they're also droppingthe happy and just calling it the meal.
(03:00):
Oh boy, I don't forrest.Where are you? That's all I
have to say about that out right? Okay, this will happen to about
twenty percent of all drivers today.What is it? The low fuel light
comes on? That sounds like mywife again? First, yore, what's
(03:27):
up with that? What's up withthat? I'm Big ninety seven nine.
Come on now with Johnny Wilde inthe morning on Big ninety seven nine.
You can now leave an AI copyof yourself behind when you die. Oh
weird. It's Johnny, I'm bigninety seven nine nok. I appreciate you
(03:49):
listening. So, a sixty oneyear old German Man with terminal cancer is
in the news because he spent monthstraining an AI program to act just like
him so it can interact with hisfamily and answer questions even after he's gone.
He is the first customer for aservice called Eternos that create your AI
(04:12):
double. WHOA, I don't know, man, this is getting way too
weird. You tell it your thoughtsand memories, so it learns to mimic
your personality, your voice. Itcan even generate new ideas similar to what
you might think up. I thinkthe keyword there is similar. They asked
him about one hundred and fifty questionsabout himself and his life, and he
(04:36):
spent several weeks answering them at length. So the point is to give your
family something to interact with once you'regone, so they can ask questions and
go to you for quote advice.Even Michael's great great grandchildren will be able
to talk to him, which that'sneat, but it's not really him.
(05:00):
So he and his wife got tosee his AI in action for the first
time last month, and we're bothimpressed. She asked it to say something
nice to her before bed, andin his exact voice, it said,
my love half, sweet dreams,and I love you so very much.
Wow. Hilarious. If what hassaid something like, hey, it's been
(05:25):
a few nights, you want toknock boots or what you know? I
think that'd be great. I'm JohnnyWilde, I'm big ninety seven to nine.
Get up with Johnny Wilde in themorning every morning. Nine. Okay,
so ladies, you stuck around forthis, didn't you. Who do
you share your intimate secrets with?More than half of women admit they reveal
(05:48):
it to their hairstylist things they wouldn'tdare share with anyone else. This study
reveals many women are happy to spillthe means to their hair stylists about sensitive
issues like money, worries, infidelity, workplace secrets, and more. Fifteen
percent of women say they've made abig life decision based on a conversation with
(06:13):
their hairstylists. Oh, yes,you should leave him. He's a dudd
Wow. I mean she is theonly one that really knows what color your
roots are? Am I right?Uh? Huh? Just saying McDonald's is
finally considering adding a five dollars mealback to its menu to coax customers back
into restaurants they've taken a hit fora while now. The meal could include
(06:34):
a choice of either a McChicken mcdouble, four piece nuggets, fries, and
a drink. Yeah, hey,I just want to know where's my ninety
nine cent double cheeseburger. That wasmy go to for years. I miss
it. You're gonna need that fivedollars meal to afford this. A new
report from Zillo finds that the averagerent in the US is just right at
(06:58):
two grand two grand a month,and we know many places in Colorado are
higher than that. So tenants willnow bring need to bring thirty six percent
more money than they did in twentynineteen. Thirty six percent more. That
is insane. I guarantee your payhadn't gone up that much. That also
means a renter would need a salaryof nearly eighty thousand a year to comfortably
(07:25):
afford a rental home at that price. Man, what is going up?
We are upside down for sure.I don't like that at all. And
there you go. Those are thebig things you need to know and if
you don't know, not just knowyou know Big ninety seven nine Mornings with
Johnny Wilde. So, last hourI mentioned a story about how you can
(07:47):
now leave an AI copy of yourselfbehind when you die. It cost like
fifteen grand. This guy in Germanywith terminal cancer is in the news because
he's the first one to do it. He's spent months train this program to
act and talk just like him soit can interact with his family and answer
questions even after he's gone. Isthat spooky or is it the most awesome
(08:11):
thing you've ever heard? And we'regetting some comments on the big text line,
which is three three one zero three. Now when you text in,
just start your text with the wordbig. Okay, So, Kim and
Longmont said, the AI thing isalready getting out of hand. I don't
(08:31):
like it, and I feel itwill ruin the world literally and figuratively.
Kim, A lot of people feelthat way. Totally get it. But
James and Windsor said, Johnny lovethe show. Thank you. James.
Think about how neat it would beto talk to your old man and just
have somewhat of a conversation. Well, yeah, I would love to talk
(08:52):
to Willie. Bill that'd be great, he says, Yes, everything is
new and different, and it's weirdat first, but I guarantee you most
people would absolutely love it. James, I get it, but I'm just
worried it would be stuff we youknow, maybe we really don't want to
hear like this. Now, thanksto a I, your parents can talk
(09:16):
to you forever. Wipe that smileoff your face, or I'll do it
for you. Just have your momor dad input memories and their voice.
Money doesn't grow on Teresa. Youknow, I'll wash your mouth out with
soap and you'll be able to listento them in perpetuity. Close the door
where you're raised in a bar.Stop crying, or I'll give you something
to cry about. Your loved one'svoices will live forever. I brought you
(09:37):
into this world, and I'll justas soon take you out. Your face
is going to freeze that way.Nightmares, cold sweats, and counseling not
included. Don't make me pull thiscar over. See exactly you are listening
to Wild in the morning time.Now for Wild Sound, we have a
theme two Canadian stories. Let's dartup with this. When a man in
(10:00):
Canada claims that he was swiping throughthe McDonald's app while waiting in the drive
through, and that's when a policeofficer ticketed him for using his phone in
the car. Apparently you can't dothat. There here is Mason talking about
getting his tickets barely even moving.I'm just rolling and I go like this,
(10:22):
open up my McDonald's app, andI look in my rearview mirror and
there's a motorcycle copyind Mit, Schulman. I'm like, I'm on my McDonald's
up. I'm floating up the coderight now to get a free meal.
I did think he was just gonnalet me go because I'm just trying to
get a free meal. Turns outto be a very expensive lunch, no
doubt. It was an almost sixhundred dollars fine. I can't believe the
(10:43):
cop wrote him up like that.That's weird. A record attempt in Canada
for the most people dressed as dinosaursfailed because too many showed up. The
record is two hundred and fifty two. They think they had over six thousand
people in costume dinosaur costumes, butofficials weren't ready for that many and didn't
(11:07):
get an official count hold on ifwe want is welding too fast? Listen
to these two hosers. They aredressed up as dinosaurs at the event.
It's fun. Everybody should do itonce in their life, Fay, and
get you out and enjoying the day. I hope we break the world record.
This is just awesome. I'm soglad they put this on out here.
(11:30):
This is our territory, this isdinosaur land. Okay, that first
guy might be the best representation ofa stereotypical Canadian I've ever heard. Fun.
Everybody should do it once in theirlife, Fay. Hey, hey,
do you think all those t rexeslive in Texas? Der Johnny Wild
in the morning. So here's someedits of different singers and what they would
(11:58):
sound like fall down the stairs.We'll start off first with Michael Jackson.
I bet that is exactly what itwould sound like. Here's David Lee Roth
(12:18):
who how about Johnny Cash? Oh, went down, down down? I
feel Oh, we gotta get toElvis here. What would Whitney Houston sound
like falling down the stairs? Okay? Perfect? Tom Petty free falling,
(12:46):
let's do it? Yeah, okay, James Hetfield from Metallica, Oh,
man, these are great. Andone more Steven Tyler from Arrowsmith. Wow,
(13:13):
that is unbelievable. And there yougo. That is wild sound Johnny
Wild and ninety seven nine. Well, if you wear ankle sucks, supposedly
you're old now, Johnny Wild,I'm big ninety seven nine, appreciate you
listening, Noko, thank you somuch. Well, here's another fine example
(13:35):
of how either millennials or now genZers have ruined everything. And I can
say that because I have a wholegroup of them. I've got four kids
that are either millennials or gen Zers, actually five. If you put my
stepson, who's fifteen in there,let's throw him in there. Yep,
gen Z has now killed ankle socks. Look around the gym or the store.
(14:00):
No one under thirty will be wearingthem. And of course it's hard
to find people under thirty its storesanyway, another thing they've helped ruin.
Of course, we all remember aday where if you wore calf socks or
God forbid socks up to your knee, you were your father, you'd get
laughed out of school. I caneven remember being mortified or embarrassed if my
(14:24):
mother patched up my jeans and youcould see the patch, or worse,
if there was a hole, becausethen you look poor. All my jeans
will look like that right now,and I'm sure that's probably also out of
style. So gen zers now prefercruise socks. Where did this come from?
(14:45):
You know, cru socks They goup about mid calf, which means
Grandpa is cool again, assuming he'sstill rocking those. So speaking of feeling
old, there's another thread online wherepeople are sharing the subtle moments when they
think I'm old. Now here aresome of the best ones. I started
thinking policemen look too young to bein charge of anything. I have an
(15:11):
app for identifying bird calls. Istarted sympathizing with the parents in teen movies.
Yeah, oh, this one Irelate to completely. I hate unnecessary
noise. You're old, right exactly? I am. I'm almost always tired,
(15:31):
not sleepy tired, more like feelingjust tired. Here's a gal who
got excited about buying a steam up. Well, why wouldn't you, that's
a big deal. Oh yeah,this lady was chatting with someone and they
compared her to her mother. Oh, when's the first time that happened?
(15:52):
You don't forget that here's another comment. I consider nine pm a reasonable time
to say, oh, it's abouttime to hit the hay, and of
course just saying hit the hay.Yeah, And of course my wife and
I talk about this all the timewhen we're watching SNL. We're like,
who's this host, who's the musicalguest? Who are these people? We
(16:15):
don't know? And then finally,once you get to the point where you
have two doctor's appointments on the sameday, oh yeah, it's basically over
at that point. But I stillcan't get past the fact that gen zers
will wear these calf socks that allof a sudden, ankle socks are totally
(16:38):
so uncool and a sign of beingold. You people are weird. Johnny
Wild in the morning weekday mornings onBig ninety seven nine, Well, I'm
Jonathan. If you know anything aboutme, I'm big into voiceover. I
did audition for The Simpsons back innineteen ninety seven when they were on strike,
and then those stupid you're staying theirnew contract? No, yeah,
(17:04):
and I did get a callback fromthe casting director. But I'm not nearly
as cool as Maggie Roswell, wholives here in Colorado and is a regular
voice still on the Simpsons, andyears ago we had her do somebodies of
mine that I work with. Theyhad her do a this song I'm gonna
(17:26):
play for you. If you rememberthe Sherry Bobbins episode of The Simpsons where
she sounds like Mary Poppins, thiswill make total sense. That's her anyway.
Here's the story and why I'm usingit. Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie
are reuniting on Peacock. Okay,they're coming out with a new show.
It's been more than twenty years sinceThe Simple Life, and they were part
(17:48):
of the famous Blonde Bimbo explosion inthe early two thousand. She had Paris,
Nicole Britney eat Lindsay Lohan, PamelaAnderson and Anna Nicole Smith and the
tabloid media went crazy over him fora few years. So now that that's
coming back, I thought I'd pullthis little ditty out from the Wild Sound
(18:10):
Hall of Fame. Let's do it. It's Lindsey, Brittany, Nicol Richie,
Pamela and Paris. I am overjosing on celebrity awareness. Tawboyds think
I'm interested, but I could reallycare. Let's lady Brittany Nicole, Richie
Pamel on Paris, on magazine andTV shows. I always see these blondes.
(18:32):
I honestly can tell you that theygive me the right. They stand
in front of camera raus each dayto make a please wild plane that they
really do not want the city Britannicalready spoiled London, Mars. We're never
get embarrassed, Lindy Brittany Nickel.Yes, how about that man? She
(18:57):
is good. Maggie Roswell there Colorado. I don't know if she's a native,
but she lives here and is stillon the Simpsons. Great stuff.
Hope you enjoyed. I'm Johnny wildI'm Big ninety seven nine. Ready,
Johnny Wilde in the morning on Bigninety seven nine. What's up with that?
(19:18):
What's up with that? All right? What's up with that? Twelve
percent of us, well, westill have this from elementary school. Twelve
percent of us have this from elementaryschool. I will tell you at the
end of this. A police bustin Australia found over seven hundred pounds of
(19:41):
drugs inside life sized transformer statues.One of them was named Optimeth Prime.
My dame is Optameth prime. Imade that up. I don't know weird
and wacky things found in sewers,so they were flushed. A the Explore
action figure, which obviously went onquite an explorative adventure. A Kendall was
(20:06):
in there too, pieces of agarden shed, false teeth, underwear,
a chopped up bed frame. Allof these things have been flushed. Lots
of eyeglasses, many wallets, manymany keys and car tires. Is there
a sewage department lost and found?Can you imagine? Have you seen my
false teeth? New pole? Askpeople what their first reaction is when they
(20:33):
get an unexpected knock at the door. Thirty four percent say they're curious,
twenty five percent are annoyed, andfive percent are excited like the dogs.
I gotta tell you, I'm nowin the annoyed category that meet him getting
old? You kids, get offmy lawn and don't bring my dormaille.
(20:53):
All right. Twelve percent of usstill have this from elementary school. Our
best friend. I don't even rememberwho that is. Of course, my
wife, who has four different setsof school friends, says she still keeps
in touch with her elementary best friend. Of course she does. And I
(21:15):
said this to her last night,What's up with that? What's up with
that? Pig? Donty seven nimes? Get on up with Johnny Wilde in
the morning every morning. Homb nineWell students at this school in Illinois pulled
a senior prank on their principle.They hired a bagpiper to follow him around
(21:40):
for an hour. Oh won't Ilove the bagpipes, but at the same
time, they still kind of makemy skin crawl. It's a fascinating piece
of musical equipment, for sure.The principal was a good sport and he
(22:00):
even praised the kids for coming upwith the idea. So that's good,
you know, no harm done.Uh, this is kind of neat because
I love impressions. Here is aa songcover guy on Instagram who does all
of his song covers as Cartman fromSouth Park and he's got the voice down
pat and he's also playing the guitaron this one. This is painted black
(22:22):
by the Stones. Check it out, Cartman, No damn turn back.
That's good. Behave and see whenI see something like this, I can't
(22:48):
turn it off. And painting,but I think you get the idea.
And he kind of looks like himtoo. If Cartman was around forty with
a big black beard, it'd bethis guy that is wild child wild in
the morning. So I saw thislist and it made me think of,
(23:11):
you know, the whole first worldproblems, like problems that we're fortunate enough
to have. Four hundred international hotelworkers were asked to share some unusual grumbles
and diva like demands, and someof these were probably from regular people.
Are you ready the sheets are toowhite? Can you imagine going downstairs to
(23:33):
the front desk and complaining that thesheets are too white, or that the
sea is too blue, the icecream was too cold in the restaurant,
the bathtub was too big, allright, let's see the hotel had no
ocean view. Well, they werein the middle of England, you dummy.
(23:56):
The mother of the groom wasn't giventhe honey sweet Why would you,
lady, you're the mother of thegroom. You're not even the mother of
the bride at this point, andthat's just weird. And then here are
some other unusual hotel requests. Oneglass of water on the hour, every
(24:17):
hour through the night. Oh,before I continue with this, we have
a friend who likes to play stumpthe broad More. You know the broad
More down in Colorado Springs beautiful.I love that place. We've been there
one time and it's magnificent and theirstaff is so nice. But he he
will play stump the staff like hewould ask for fifteen cucumbers a day for
(24:38):
the toilet to be filled with mineralwater and they would probably do it,
or if he's in the restaurant,he would go, I only want the
right legs of my hen to beserved to me. And then finally somebody
asked for a bath of chocolate milk, sixteen pillows for a single guest and
(24:59):
croc it soup. Oh listen,I can tell you what soup you're gonna
get, buddy, don't even askme this lord stupid news. Nineteen people
received letters last week from the townof Glasgow, West Virginia, saying the
junked cars on their property are nowin violation of a town ordinance. The
(25:21):
letter stated that the town has beguna beautification project and the cars are inoperative,
unlicensed, unregistered, they gotta go. Oh. It was standing room
only at the next city council meetingas residents lined up to argue if the
cars on their own property what thetown has to do with that. They
(25:42):
don't have the right to tell themwhat to do. As one resident put
it, when you come pay mytaxes, pay my bills, you can
tell me what you can do inmy yard. But until in no another
said, I brought me four carsa year North Carolina, and I've had
a mall for twenty years. Tome, they look better than your crap
(26:06):
or anybody else to crap up inhere. Okay, first they came for
the rusty cars. Oh, thenthey come for the porch couches. Watch
out. The mayor is standing behindthis ordinance. He said at the meeting.
We have some cars in this townthat have been sitting here for decades.
He said this quote. They wasrustbuckets, cats was just breeding in
(26:30):
them. Yeah, West Virginia,you're something else. Of course, when
the when the tempers settled down,everybody went back to their moonshine stills that
all was good. Get up withJohnny Wilde in the morning on Big ninety se
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com