August 30, 2024 • 30 mins
Clint Girlie speaks with David Burton, County Engagement and Community Development Specialist as well as Field Specialist for the University of Missouri, about the Engaged Neighbor Program. They discuss the mental and physical wellness behind being a good neighbor, how to become a good neighbor and how the trend of being neighborly is taking off nationwide.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, hello and welcome to a show that we call
iHeart The Ozarksist is a half hour long show airs
across all five of our iHeart Radio stations here in Springfield.
My name's Clint Gurley from iHeart Radio here in Springfield,
and I'm excited today. We know we usually when we
do these shows, it focuses on a group organization, most
of the time nonprofit here in our area that's doing
a ton of good for our community, and we are
(00:20):
very happy to put them on our airwaves and make
sure you're aware of what's going on with them as well.
And you know, everybody's kind of got the same thing
going where it's they're making this community better and that's awesome.
We're excited about that. However, today a different approach to
making the community better other than maybe a nonprofit work
situation that you're used to. I'm super excited because David
(00:41):
Burton is with us, and I've known we've kind of
been in the same general like uh, the atmosphere for
a while day. Yeah yeah, we never had yeah yeah,
but we've never had a chance to just like one
on one talk and so why not do it publicly,
you know what I mean? For everybody there you go.
Besides having the opportunity, yeah, besides David having the longest
(01:03):
email signature in history, which if you've got to spare
twelve minutes at the end of the show, I will
read to you. Will you explain a little bit, David,
who you are, what you specialize in. You'll do it
a lot better than I will.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Okay, Well, I'm a native of the Ozarks, so grown
up in this area. Ashgrove is my hometown of birth.
But I've been a republic for twenty three years, so
I'm certainly ingrained in the community, and I've worked with
University of Missouri Extension for twenty three years now. I
have a media and marketing background, so I love that
(01:39):
this whole area can feel like a small town at times.
You know, you go places, you see people you know,
and I love that aspect of it. But in the
last few years, I think specifically since twenty eighteen, my
community development work has focused on neighbors and neighborhoods. That's
(02:00):
a lot of what we're talking about today.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
It is. Yeah, So your title, as I've understood, is
Field Specialist for Missoo University of Missouri. The Green County
Extension and your specialty field as I understand it is neighbors,
the Engaged Neighbor Program, all of these. It's just like
being a good neighbor and I love it. And at
(02:23):
the same time, it's so broad of a concept that
I was like, I really need to nail down, David.
We need to talk about this because I could flesh
this out and truly understand I've got it in bits
and pieces before, but I want the whole pie. Now.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Okay, we better eat fast.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Here we go, the engagement, the Engaged Neighbor program. When
I was on the city council in Republic, you were
awarded I think the Mayor's Honor or something like that
because of this program, because of your efforts in making
Republic and our area just a more neighborly place and
focusing in on that. My question for just to get
(03:00):
things going is what what are we talking about when
we're talking about something like the Engaged Neighbor program?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah? Well it it began as a personal conviction, and
if I can just be honest, I'll share a little
bit of that because I thought I was a great
neighbor until I discovered I was not. Oh no, and
because if you had asked me, I just said I
was a great neighbor because I was quiet, I didn't
throw loud parties. I picked up after my dog on walks,
and I take my Christmas lights down before January. First,
(03:29):
you know all those things. But then, through a series
of circumstances and a book that I was given to read,
I discovered that even though we'd lived in the same
house at that point about eighteen years, neighbors had come
and gone, and when new people had moved in, I
didn't even bother to get to know them. Figured they'd
(03:51):
be moving out before long. Sure that it's not that
I didn't waive my neighbors, but at that point I
really only knew the names of one of our neighbor
and we didn't have regular interaction at all. And yet
if you would have asked me if I loved my neighbors,
I would have said, yes.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Sure, yeah, I don't think this is an uncommon situation.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
By the way, this is not this is not uncommon
and uh, and we can talk about that the cultural shift.
But I just came to discover the opposite of love
is not hate. The opposite of love is apathy and
I had apathy.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
That's a big that's a big statement, and had.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Not taken even time to invest it in the lives
of anyone around us. So personally, we just took a
step to step out and get to know our neighbors
again with a plate of cookies and our contact information,
which doesn't sound like a big sacrifice, but it really is.
Because my wife makes tremendous chocolate chip cookies. It was
(04:47):
hard to give those away. Yeah, But in the process
of doing that and changing that in our own lives
and seeing that kind of trickle down the street, I
realized that this had a great connection to my actual
area of work. And instead of doing leadership training or
working with cities on projects, this was a grassroots, neighborhood
(05:09):
focused type of effort and what might that look like?
And so the university gave me permission to do some
research to delve in the topic. I think I was
originally given like ten percent of my time to apply
toward this, to see if there was something here, if
we could develop a curriculum or some classes, you know,
jump forward to now it's ninety five percent of my time.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
And because there turned out to be such a great
interest in that and so engage neighbors kind of the
Umbrella program, and we have different events that fit under that.
One of them is Neighboring one oh one. It's a
monthly online class and session where we talk to leaders
in the neighboring network from all of the United States.
(05:55):
They're doing different work, and we have almost eight hundred
people in that class from thirty six different states. Wow,
because there really is kind of a neighboring movement that's
working working its way across the United States, increased interest
in recapturing these connections. And then there's the research element
and the research I've done locally, first in one year
(06:18):
in Republic and then in twenty two and twenty four
statewide looking at those neighbor connections and how they've changed.
And I think one of the most fascinating questions in
that study was when we ask people what makes someone
a good neighbor, And really the two highest criteria of
(06:39):
the thirty that they could pick from is someone who's
quiet and respects my privacy. So we really want neighbors
who are quiet and leave us alone.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Sure is that not right?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
And that's a no, And that's actually just a change
in the last thirty thirty years. When you look at
similar studies done to fifties and sixties, seventies, the eighties,
people's social network often started at and revolved around their
immediate neighbors. There were poles, there were studies through there
(07:14):
where people were asked, you know, how many times times
a week do you get together with your neighbors? And
some of those fifties those studies were seventy percent, seventy
plus that was your social network many times outside of work.
That number continued to slide over the areas as we
(07:38):
and as we stopped socializing together with those around us,
we lost trust in those that were around us.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
We lost the.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Ability to communicate with people and have different ideas from us.
There's a lot of social impacts from that related to
social capital. There's some great books on this, bowling alone.
Robert Puppman is one of those, but there's others as well.
And so when we did our survey, I didn't even
dare ask how many times is it, you know a
(08:05):
week you get together? I ask how many times a
year gotcha you get together with your neighbors? And that
was eighteen percent. So when you look at that and
how we see neighbors as something we want to keep distant.
That's really one hundred and eighty degree shift and how
we interact with those around us, and that has let
me tell, it's long term ramification.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Let me ask you this because I understand what you're saying.
The long term ramifications of that certainly being negative, but
that you know, you're talking about social constructs that were
one way in the fifties and sixties and are now
completely different. There's also positive. There are some social concerts
from the fifties and sixties that, like I certainly am
glad are gone now.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Yes, I'm not asking for a nostalishment. Yeah, so wan
to bring back the fifties.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Why is being neighborly one of the ones we need
to have kept up with?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, well, we are. We are built for social connections,
and that is social face to face, people to people connections.
That's how we function as a species, that's how we
function best. In the absence of that, we we lose
trust in other people. When you don't have trust, you
(09:19):
don't work together in unity, and before long you're fighting
with each other as well. This is a Yeah, you're right,
I'm not saying let's return to the fifty. Oh yeah,
anything like that. Yeah, it's there's there is just there's
so much research around this in the last ten years
(09:40):
that has developed. It's an expanding field, and some of
those things center around loneliness and isolation. We see the
you're at a point now you have sixty percent of
Americans saying they feel lonely and isolated. Okay, what's up
with that? And that chart that goes straight up coincides
with the straight up line of use of smartphones and
(10:01):
social media. And you may have you may see people
on your feed, but that is not the same thing
as having a social connection with people. And we we
actually have as a species kind of a cap on
how many quality relationships we can maintain. It's called the
Dunbar number, and it's said to be about one hundred
(10:25):
and fifty.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Holy smokes, mine's like three.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Well in that number even you know, he includes like
your family, you know, your immediately immediate family, and then
those who you can maintain a positive social relationship with.
But you'll have people say I've got a thousand people
on social media, they're all my friends.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
It's not the same thing.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
In fact, a lot of research as you're scrolling and
seeing all that on your feed, it can actually lead
to jealousy and depression and eventually loneliness and isolation. And
so we're cheerleading for more face to face contact and
more certainly, neighbors can be someone other than the eight
(11:11):
that live around you that just should never be less.
That's a great place to start, sure, and you can
build out from there. And one of those reasons is
you don't really pick your neighbors, and it gives you
an opportunity to learn the skills you need to interact
with people that are unlike you, that have different ideas
from you, Sure, that do things differently than you.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
That was gonna be. That was gonna be. My next
question is just about like, Okay, I understand the need
that we as human beings have to be in a
social environment rather than isolating. That's how we're built. But
why does physical proximity need to be prioritized as far
as like the people who are within our social network
(11:54):
and actual yea, not not online.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah, that's a great question. I think. I think one
of the reason is sus we can kind of see
what has happened over the several decades as we've said, Oh,
everybody's my neighbor. I'm just going to have all these connections.
We ignore those that are in media around us, and
we pick our neighbors. And who do we pick that
we're going to love and be our neighbors? Uh, someone
(12:18):
who's going to look like us, think like us, do
things that we enjoy. Absolutely, so there's so there's a
downside to that. Or we're going to pick people who
can be neighbors on our terms, like I'll go over
here and help with this little nonprofit event, but don't
don't ask me to really invest my life in that. Sure,
(12:38):
I'll go over here and hand out some food.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Then I'm done.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I don't want anything else to do with that. And
neither one of those really meet that definition of what
a neighbor is and how that impacts our life positively
helps us develop trust, actually offsets those feelings of loneliness
and mental health that we have seen. I mentioned uh
to you at one time about the one thousand block
(13:04):
party initiative that's going on in Colorado Springs and they're
doing that all summer and ending on September twenty eighth,
and that whole emphasis in that city is about mental
health and overcoming loneliness and isolation. And my sister in
law lives there, so we went out to visit. I
hit a bunch of different block parties, people that we
(13:24):
made contact with, and they were all ends of the spectrum.
One of them had a band for the block party,
you know, and another one that you know, it was
just drink, some lawn chairs on the driveway. It's you know,
there's no it can be all of those things. The
point is to make connections with people around you, and
I've seen the impact of that in my own neighborhood.
(13:47):
Two summers ago, we did driveway chats. We just moved
to different driveways once a month. We didn't ask the
host to provide drinks or food or games or anything,
just saying.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I got good because I was like, we didn't ask
the host. We just showed up in their driveway, and
I was like, we planned to have time, but.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
I didn't want to put pressure on them and say, hey,
I need you to provide drinks and you know all
that stuff. We have said, neighbors, come to this address,
bring your lawn chair, bring your own drinks. Coming to
visit with your neighbors For two hours. And we started
out the summer we had six on my driveway, which
was better than zero. But by the end of the
summer in September, we had seventy two Oh Wow showing
(14:26):
up and that night, at the end of that night,
the host told me that he had felt disconnected in town,
didn't really feel like they knew a lot of people,
didn't wondered if he had anything to offer. But as
a result of that, he decided to run for Republic
City council. Nice and he holds a seat.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Now wait, hold on, what's his name? Did he replace me? David?
Hold on, because I'm about to get real mad at you, buddy. No,
the different zone, different zone to be to be, to
be perfectly transparent, I could not run this time. So
I did not lose to anyone. I just didn't run.
So there's that.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
That's right there you go. No, the and and in fact,
the second council member now came to take decide to
run under similar circumstances because of some neighboring events we
had done in a similar type of story. So it
and not only does it help us develop trust so
we can work together with people. You see people when
(15:30):
you have those neighbor connections, people become more likely to
serve in their community, more likely to volunteer, take on
leadership roles. There's a lot to support that. It expands
your own social capital, which is, to you personally, just
as important as any sort of economic capital you have.
I saw that play out these last couple of weeks
(15:52):
with my daughter, which he was looking for adult.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Job after college.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Social social capital lay very obviously through that whole process,
and so it ends up even in our own neighborhood.
We've seen by having those gatherings, building those connections, people
have stepped up to lead, People have stepped out and
learned their own neighbors and done their own type of events.
(16:18):
Neighbors have responded to a tragedy that happened in our neighborhood,
which I think a couple of years ago wouldn't have
happened because nobody knew each other. Sure, And so there's
I mean, there's just ongoing positive ramifications for that, and
many cities are seen this is a way for them
(16:39):
to help combat the mental health issues, the loneliness issues,
and also in their own community, the sort of diminishine participation.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Let me reset briefly. Here you're listening to iHeart the
O's aren't You. My name is Clinton Gurley. This is
the show that airs every half hour every Sunday for
a half hour across all five of our I h
Heart radio stations here in Springfield. My guest today and
maybe the first guest I've ever in the ten some
odd years I've done this, who talks more than me,
and I love it because everything he is so smart
(17:12):
and I love everything you're saying. My guest is David Burton.
He's a field specialist for the University of Missouri the
Green County Extension who focuses now, according to you, David
ninety five percent of his time on the Engaged Neighbor Program,
the umbrella term for all of these different things that
David is studying and implementing, not just in southwest Missouri,
(17:33):
but nationwide. At this point, I think the first question
I should have asked you, and just want it on
the record, is how would you describe a neighbor or
define how would you define that term neighbor? Is it
just proximity physically? No?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
And I think that is the place that we start.
I always say that neighboring is the skill and practice
of learning to develop positive relationships with those that live
immediately around you, and so a neighbor. When we look
at the historical use of that word, proximity was an
(18:15):
essential element to neighbors and what that So proximity in
an apartment complex, proximity in a rural area of the ozarks,
proximity in a subdivision. Those things all look slightly different, right,
but that proximity I think is the essential element. People
(18:35):
often say, how can I start being a better neighbor?
And I always say, learn the names of your neighbors,
find excuses to use their names, and then throw some
social get togethers. And so you do have to ring
a doorbell or write a note or do something to
learn their name. Initially. There's some things places you can
look online if you want to stalk people, I suppose
(18:58):
right and get their names. But then you have to
find ways to use the name. And that name is
so important, and proximity actually makes that easier because they
do live around you. Even if they are driving it
at night, shutting the garage door and not coming back out,
(19:18):
eventually they're going to mow their yard or you're going
to see them at the mailbox or something. And I
just know from personal experience there's a big difference between
saying Hello Matt versus hey you, and that name is
what begins it. And then you know those social gatherings
that helps build that trust eventually. I know in our
(19:38):
neighborhood that's led to some service projects and some things
we can do together and help others, and it's made
our life richer. It's made our neighborhood safer and cleaner
and friendlier, which are people's top three criteria for a neighborhood.
And I think it's helped our town also because some
(19:59):
people have stepped out to volunteer and serve.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
No doubt about it. From a republic resident to another,
as in you, David, I have seen both from the
sure the city council side of things, where the actions
that you've been taking and leading the charge on have
made positive impacts just on the community as a whole.
And also just as you're speaking, you're making me feel
(20:24):
almost a little guilty. I know, I maybe five five
neighbors by name in my area there, but we've got
a little pocketive republic to ourselves. And it makes me
think back to a couple of years ago, we had
a really young couple move in and within the first
(20:44):
six months, for the first time in our neighborhood's history,
they walked around with flyers and we're like, hey, let's
have a little neighborhood get together in our driveway. And
now doesn't surprise me at all. It shouldn't have that.
I think that that's a direct result of you doing
the things that you did in Republic, because here comes
this young couple nobody knows. You know, we knew each
(21:06):
other some and it was one of the coolest experiences ever.
And now I'm feeling guilty that me me as the
person that I am, which is weird that I would
be in any position of influence at all, But here
we are. Why haven't I kept that going? Because all
the things you're saying, if I'm getting I think what
(21:27):
you're saying, the ultimate goal of the engaged neighbor and
being an engaged neighbor is to create a better environment,
not just for yourself but for everybody around you. And
what a great goal to have. And why haven't I
done anything about it? You know? So, I guess you
mentioned how people ask you, how do I start with it?
Your three things. Learn somebody's name, find an excuse than
(21:50):
throw a git together.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Yeah, those are three steps. I mean our engaged Neighbor
pledge has more steps beyond that, but those are the
three places to stef and the things that you can
focus on. And I love that they did that. That's
really a great, a great effort to begin. I love
hearing those types of types of stories. But don't beat
(22:14):
yourself up too much. Again, I think the cultural narrative
now is that neighbors are quiet and leave me alone.
So we're pushing back. We're being countercultural in this. We're
also really looking for opinion leaders and early adopters in
the community because that's how you shift this cultural narrative.
(22:36):
And it's a rarity. It's a rarity. Ten ten percent
of Americans know the names of their eight immediate closest neighbors.
Almost forty eight percent will say they know none. So,
like I said, it's a cultural shift. Don't beat yourself
up too much. You know several names. That's a great
(22:57):
starting point. You're ahead of the curve right there.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
How about that. It's the first time in my entire
life I've been ahead of anything.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
This also opens the door for you, Clint, this is
a great opportunity with Missouri Good Neighbor Week coming up,
either in partnership with that young couple on your street
to do another little block party, get together something to
celebrate Missouri Good Neighbor Week.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
When is When is that?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah? It was. It was actually signed in a law
by the governor in twenty twenty two. It begins on
September twenty eighth, which is National Good Neighbor Day, and
it runs through October fourth. We have a website that's
real complicated to remember. It's Missouri Good Neighborweek dot com.
But there's you know, there's information on there that maybe
(23:45):
will give you ideas on things to do with neighbors.
There's a place where you can report your active neighboring
if you've done something for your neighbors or done a
block party during the week. We'd love to track those.
We have a goal this year of having twenty thousand
acts of reported. We had nineteen thousand last year statewide.
And if you enter your active neighboring, then you're entered
(24:06):
into some random drawings rises. Okay, we're also calculating those
that are turned in and to determine based in four
size categories the most neighborly cities in Missouri based on participation.
All right, And you can also nominate someone that you
believe is deserves recognition as an engaged neighbor, and they're
(24:29):
going to get a letter from us telling us about
telling them about their nomination, a memento, and then they'll
be entered into the contest where we picked ten people
across the state as the most engaged neighbors.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
So I feel like your world and my world are
now crossing over because you're running what is essentially like
a very very integrated into the community promotion that I like,
if it sounds very iHeartRadio, like nominated a neighbor, you
know what I mean? Like I could hear myself talking
about this on the air, and that's a neat intersection
(25:04):
right there. Already I'm pouring out. So this I got.
I got a press release from you, and I'm so,
by the way, do you have like a distribution list
is Missouri Good Neighbor? I'm sorry, I forgot the website
just now.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, well, there's there's several that float around. Engage neighbor
dot Com will take you to a collection page for
me that kind of links you to all these different things,
or the Missouri Good neighborweek dot com.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
I would urge you listening to go to one of
those two websites and get signed up for any kind
of notification or communication from them. It hit me at
a time where I, for the last couple of weeks
it's been a slog. You know, you get into these
ruts sometime and with work stuff and just life stuff,
and it kind of felt like a slog. And I
got that email from you, and I read it and
(25:51):
I was like, oh, my gosh, I really need to
talk to David, because every interaction I've ever had with
him or in his arena has just been a positive one,
not just for me personally, but for reinvigorating my faith
in the community and the people that are around me
that I may or may not know. And it's never bad,
(26:12):
it's always positive. And so yeah, if there's one thing
that I could urge people to do to take away
from this talk that we've had, it's to go to
one of those websites, get more information, and certainly sign
up for communication. Because everything you're saying is making a
ton of sense, and you're right, I know, we had
a man this must have been a year ago, a
breakout talk about you know, the epidemic that is male
(26:37):
loneliness specifically, Yes, and that's a big one. And I
was like, man, man, that's something that I wish I
could tackle. I wish I knew more about. Certainly, engaged
neighboring is a huge way to fix some of that
at least, And so a lot of things tying together
with mental health issues and my wife's a therapist. It's
(26:59):
just everything you're is making a lot of sense to me.
And it can't just be me, is what I'm trying
to say. I guarantee you other people hearing us are
like light bulbs all the time. So thanks for that.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Yeah, well, thank you for the opportunity to be on
the air too. I love the program. I love this opportunity,
and especially when you get to plug Missouri Good Neighbor
Week a little bit. We're kicking kicking that week off
and republic by showing the Join or Die documentary that
sounds a scary documentary about Robert Putman and his book
Bowling Alone. Okay, our disconnection that's really about joining something
(27:33):
that's going on in your community and we're going to
kick off Missouri Good Neighbor Week at the Republic Library
by having two showings of that documentary.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Well, I love, I love to hear that, and I
will certainly be on the lookout for a reminder about
that because I will forget it just how my brain works.
But also, that week that you mentioned is one of
those prime weeks year in and year out for an
outdoor sit down, hang out chat time. It's just the
weather's perfect in the evening for that, so it surely is.
(28:03):
That's certainly on my mind. I do want to read
your email signature one time. Don't just kidding? Do we
have time for that? I have it copied on so
I have a document up right here. It is half
of the page, David, and I single spaced it. It's
unbelievably long.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Now I know that I need to go in and
edit that town.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Nope, please never do, never change. It's my favorite thing.
David Burton, who works for the University of Missouri, is
a field specialist and specifically on the Engaged Neighbor program.
Give those websites one more time, David, because I want
to make sure people visit those I don't know. I'm
just feeling it inside me. I need people to go
see that and see what you guys are doing.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Thank you. Well, let's keep it simple. Engage neighbor dot
com it's a great place to start. Or Missouri Good
neighborweek dot com. I'll tell you all about the week.
Both of those have resources that you can access.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Awesome. Thanks for doing this, man, Yeah, thanks for your time. Yeah,
we should have done it in person. I feel like
doing it via video chat has almost defeated the entire
purpose of what you're trying to do. David, I should
have had you come in. Oh, this is the era.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Yes, that is all.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Right, the irony of it all all right. Well, David
Burton is certainly a name I hope that you remember,
and I hope you visit the websites if you're listening here.
Nothing that he said is not worth remembering or putting
into practice. It's I think, vital for our communities. And
I'm not a guy who sets up on a pulpit
and preaches much, but boy, if we can make this
(29:38):
community better for each other and our kids, and this
is a very simple way to do it, it's worth
a shot. So go to those websites. Visit with David
if you get a chance to follow him on social
media or whatever. But I just appreciate you taking this
time man, for you listening. Thank you for taking this
time as well. You can find back episodes if you
(29:58):
only part of this one you want to hear the
whole thing, I don't blame you. It's a good one.
Go to iHeart the Ozarks on your iHeartRadio app or
wherever you get your podcasts and you can stream it there.
Now for myself, Clint Gurley, the rest of our staff
here at iHeartRadio in Springfield, thank you so much for listening,
and have a great rest of your day.
Well, hello and welcome to a show that we call
iHeart The Ozarksist is a half hour long show airs
across all five of our iHeart Radio stations here in Springfield.
My name's Clint Gurley from iHeart Radio here in Springfield,
and I'm excited today. We know we usually when we
do these shows, it focuses on a group organization, most
of the time nonprofit here in our area that's doing
a ton of good for our community, and we are
(00:20):
very happy to put them on our airwaves and make
sure you're aware of what's going on with them as well.
And you know, everybody's kind of got the same thing
going where it's they're making this community better and that's awesome.
We're excited about that. However, today a different approach to
making the community better other than maybe a nonprofit work
situation that you're used to. I'm super excited because David
(00:41):
Burton is with us, and I've known we've kind of
been in the same general like uh, the atmosphere for
a while day. Yeah yeah, we never had yeah yeah,
but we've never had a chance to just like one
on one talk and so why not do it publicly,
you know what I mean? For everybody there you go.
Besides having the opportunity, yeah, besides David having the longest
(01:03):
email signature in history, which if you've got to spare
twelve minutes at the end of the show, I will
read to you. Will you explain a little bit, David,
who you are, what you specialize in. You'll do it
a lot better than I will.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Okay, Well, I'm a native of the Ozarks, so grown
up in this area. Ashgrove is my hometown of birth.
But I've been a republic for twenty three years, so
I'm certainly ingrained in the community, and I've worked with
University of Missouri Extension for twenty three years now. I
have a media and marketing background, so I love that
(01:39):
this whole area can feel like a small town at times.
You know, you go places, you see people you know,
and I love that aspect of it. But in the
last few years, I think specifically since twenty eighteen, my
community development work has focused on neighbors and neighborhoods. That's
(02:00):
a lot of what we're talking about today.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
It is. Yeah, So your title, as I've understood, is
Field Specialist for Missoo University of Missouri. The Green County
Extension and your specialty field as I understand it is neighbors,
the Engaged Neighbor Program, all of these. It's just like
being a good neighbor and I love it. And at
(02:23):
the same time, it's so broad of a concept that
I was like, I really need to nail down, David.
We need to talk about this because I could flesh
this out and truly understand I've got it in bits
and pieces before, but I want the whole pie. Now.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Okay, we better eat fast.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Here we go, the engagement, the Engaged Neighbor program. When
I was on the city council in Republic, you were
awarded I think the Mayor's Honor or something like that
because of this program, because of your efforts in making
Republic and our area just a more neighborly place and
focusing in on that. My question for just to get
(03:00):
things going is what what are we talking about when
we're talking about something like the Engaged Neighbor program?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah? Well it it began as a personal conviction, and
if I can just be honest, I'll share a little
bit of that because I thought I was a great
neighbor until I discovered I was not. Oh no, and
because if you had asked me, I just said I
was a great neighbor because I was quiet, I didn't
throw loud parties. I picked up after my dog on walks,
and I take my Christmas lights down before January. First,
(03:29):
you know all those things. But then, through a series
of circumstances and a book that I was given to read,
I discovered that even though we'd lived in the same
house at that point about eighteen years, neighbors had come
and gone, and when new people had moved in, I
didn't even bother to get to know them. Figured they'd
(03:51):
be moving out before long. Sure that it's not that
I didn't waive my neighbors, but at that point I
really only knew the names of one of our neighbor
and we didn't have regular interaction at all. And yet
if you would have asked me if I loved my neighbors,
I would have said, yes.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Sure, yeah, I don't think this is an uncommon situation.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
By the way, this is not this is not uncommon
and uh, and we can talk about that the cultural shift.
But I just came to discover the opposite of love
is not hate. The opposite of love is apathy and
I had apathy.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
That's a big that's a big statement, and had.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Not taken even time to invest it in the lives
of anyone around us. So personally, we just took a
step to step out and get to know our neighbors
again with a plate of cookies and our contact information,
which doesn't sound like a big sacrifice, but it really is.
Because my wife makes tremendous chocolate chip cookies. It was
(04:47):
hard to give those away. Yeah, But in the process
of doing that and changing that in our own lives
and seeing that kind of trickle down the street, I
realized that this had a great connection to my actual
area of work. And instead of doing leadership training or
working with cities on projects, this was a grassroots, neighborhood
(05:09):
focused type of effort and what might that look like?
And so the university gave me permission to do some
research to delve in the topic. I think I was
originally given like ten percent of my time to apply
toward this, to see if there was something here, if
we could develop a curriculum or some classes, you know,
jump forward to now it's ninety five percent of my time.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
And because there turned out to be such a great
interest in that and so engage neighbors kind of the
Umbrella program, and we have different events that fit under that.
One of them is Neighboring one oh one. It's a
monthly online class and session where we talk to leaders
in the neighboring network from all of the United States.
(05:55):
They're doing different work, and we have almost eight hundred
people in that class from thirty six different states. Wow,
because there really is kind of a neighboring movement that's
working working its way across the United States, increased interest
in recapturing these connections. And then there's the research element
and the research I've done locally, first in one year
(06:18):
in Republic and then in twenty two and twenty four
statewide looking at those neighbor connections and how they've changed.
And I think one of the most fascinating questions in
that study was when we ask people what makes someone
a good neighbor, And really the two highest criteria of
(06:39):
the thirty that they could pick from is someone who's
quiet and respects my privacy. So we really want neighbors
who are quiet and leave us alone.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Sure is that not right?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
And that's a no, And that's actually just a change
in the last thirty thirty years. When you look at
similar studies done to fifties and sixties, seventies, the eighties,
people's social network often started at and revolved around their
immediate neighbors. There were poles, there were studies through there
(07:14):
where people were asked, you know, how many times times
a week do you get together with your neighbors? And
some of those fifties those studies were seventy percent, seventy
plus that was your social network many times outside of work.
That number continued to slide over the areas as we
(07:38):
and as we stopped socializing together with those around us,
we lost trust in those that were around us.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
We lost the.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Ability to communicate with people and have different ideas from us.
There's a lot of social impacts from that related to
social capital. There's some great books on this, bowling alone.
Robert Puppman is one of those, but there's others as well.
And so when we did our survey, I didn't even
dare ask how many times is it, you know a
(08:05):
week you get together? I ask how many times a
year gotcha you get together with your neighbors? And that
was eighteen percent. So when you look at that and
how we see neighbors as something we want to keep distant.
That's really one hundred and eighty degree shift and how
we interact with those around us, and that has let
me tell, it's long term ramification.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Let me ask you this because I understand what you're saying.
The long term ramifications of that certainly being negative, but
that you know, you're talking about social constructs that were
one way in the fifties and sixties and are now
completely different. There's also positive. There are some social concerts
from the fifties and sixties that, like I certainly am
glad are gone now.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Yes, I'm not asking for a nostalishment. Yeah, so wan
to bring back the fifties.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Why is being neighborly one of the ones we need
to have kept up with?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, well, we are. We are built for social connections,
and that is social face to face, people to people connections.
That's how we function as a species, that's how we
function best. In the absence of that, we we lose
trust in other people. When you don't have trust, you
(09:19):
don't work together in unity, and before long you're fighting
with each other as well. This is a Yeah, you're right,
I'm not saying let's return to the fifty. Oh yeah,
anything like that. Yeah, it's there's there is just there's
so much research around this in the last ten years
(09:40):
that has developed. It's an expanding field, and some of
those things center around loneliness and isolation. We see the
you're at a point now you have sixty percent of
Americans saying they feel lonely and isolated. Okay, what's up
with that? And that chart that goes straight up coincides
with the straight up line of use of smartphones and
(10:01):
social media. And you may have you may see people
on your feed, but that is not the same thing
as having a social connection with people. And we we
actually have as a species kind of a cap on
how many quality relationships we can maintain. It's called the
Dunbar number, and it's said to be about one hundred
(10:25):
and fifty.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Holy smokes, mine's like three.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Well in that number even you know, he includes like
your family, you know, your immediately immediate family, and then
those who you can maintain a positive social relationship with.
But you'll have people say I've got a thousand people
on social media, they're all my friends.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
It's not the same thing.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
In fact, a lot of research as you're scrolling and
seeing all that on your feed, it can actually lead
to jealousy and depression and eventually loneliness and isolation. And
so we're cheerleading for more face to face contact and
more certainly, neighbors can be someone other than the eight
(11:11):
that live around you that just should never be less.
That's a great place to start, sure, and you can
build out from there. And one of those reasons is
you don't really pick your neighbors, and it gives you
an opportunity to learn the skills you need to interact
with people that are unlike you, that have different ideas
from you, Sure, that do things differently than you.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
That was gonna be. That was gonna be. My next
question is just about like, Okay, I understand the need
that we as human beings have to be in a
social environment rather than isolating. That's how we're built. But
why does physical proximity need to be prioritized as far
as like the people who are within our social network
(11:54):
and actual yea, not not online.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah, that's a great question. I think. I think one
of the reason is sus we can kind of see
what has happened over the several decades as we've said, Oh,
everybody's my neighbor. I'm just going to have all these connections.
We ignore those that are in media around us, and
we pick our neighbors. And who do we pick that
we're going to love and be our neighbors? Uh, someone
(12:18):
who's going to look like us, think like us, do
things that we enjoy. Absolutely, so there's so there's a
downside to that. Or we're going to pick people who
can be neighbors on our terms, like I'll go over
here and help with this little nonprofit event, but don't
don't ask me to really invest my life in that. Sure,
(12:38):
I'll go over here and hand out some food.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Then I'm done.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I don't want anything else to do with that. And
neither one of those really meet that definition of what
a neighbor is and how that impacts our life positively
helps us develop trust, actually offsets those feelings of loneliness
and mental health that we have seen. I mentioned uh
to you at one time about the one thousand block
(13:04):
party initiative that's going on in Colorado Springs and they're
doing that all summer and ending on September twenty eighth,
and that whole emphasis in that city is about mental
health and overcoming loneliness and isolation. And my sister in
law lives there, so we went out to visit. I
hit a bunch of different block parties, people that we
(13:24):
made contact with, and they were all ends of the spectrum.
One of them had a band for the block party,
you know, and another one that you know, it was
just drink, some lawn chairs on the driveway. It's you know,
there's no it can be all of those things. The
point is to make connections with people around you, and
I've seen the impact of that in my own neighborhood.
(13:47):
Two summers ago, we did driveway chats. We just moved
to different driveways once a month. We didn't ask the
host to provide drinks or food or games or anything,
just saying.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I got good because I was like, we didn't ask
the host. We just showed up in their driveway, and
I was like, we planned to have time, but.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
I didn't want to put pressure on them and say, hey,
I need you to provide drinks and you know all
that stuff. We have said, neighbors, come to this address,
bring your lawn chair, bring your own drinks. Coming to
visit with your neighbors For two hours. And we started
out the summer we had six on my driveway, which
was better than zero. But by the end of the
summer in September, we had seventy two Oh Wow showing
(14:26):
up and that night, at the end of that night,
the host told me that he had felt disconnected in town,
didn't really feel like they knew a lot of people,
didn't wondered if he had anything to offer. But as
a result of that, he decided to run for Republic
City council. Nice and he holds a seat.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Now wait, hold on, what's his name? Did he replace me? David?
Hold on, because I'm about to get real mad at you, buddy. No,
the different zone, different zone to be to be, to
be perfectly transparent, I could not run this time. So
I did not lose to anyone. I just didn't run.
So there's that.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
That's right there you go. No, the and and in fact,
the second council member now came to take decide to
run under similar circumstances because of some neighboring events we
had done in a similar type of story. So it
and not only does it help us develop trust so
we can work together with people. You see people when
(15:30):
you have those neighbor connections, people become more likely to
serve in their community, more likely to volunteer, take on
leadership roles. There's a lot to support that. It expands
your own social capital, which is, to you personally, just
as important as any sort of economic capital you have.
I saw that play out these last couple of weeks
(15:52):
with my daughter, which he was looking for adult.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Job after college.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Social social capital lay very obviously through that whole process,
and so it ends up even in our own neighborhood.
We've seen by having those gatherings, building those connections, people
have stepped up to lead, People have stepped out and
learned their own neighbors and done their own type of events.
(16:18):
Neighbors have responded to a tragedy that happened in our neighborhood,
which I think a couple of years ago wouldn't have
happened because nobody knew each other. Sure, And so there's
I mean, there's just ongoing positive ramifications for that, and
many cities are seen this is a way for them
(16:39):
to help combat the mental health issues, the loneliness issues,
and also in their own community, the sort of diminishine participation.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Let me reset briefly. Here you're listening to iHeart the
O's aren't You. My name is Clinton Gurley. This is
the show that airs every half hour every Sunday for
a half hour across all five of our I h
Heart radio stations here in Springfield. My guest today and
maybe the first guest I've ever in the ten some
odd years I've done this, who talks more than me,
and I love it because everything he is so smart
(17:12):
and I love everything you're saying. My guest is David Burton.
He's a field specialist for the University of Missouri the
Green County Extension who focuses now, according to you, David
ninety five percent of his time on the Engaged Neighbor Program,
the umbrella term for all of these different things that
David is studying and implementing, not just in southwest Missouri,
(17:33):
but nationwide. At this point, I think the first question
I should have asked you, and just want it on
the record, is how would you describe a neighbor or
define how would you define that term neighbor? Is it
just proximity physically? No?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
And I think that is the place that we start.
I always say that neighboring is the skill and practice
of learning to develop positive relationships with those that live
immediately around you, and so a neighbor. When we look
at the historical use of that word, proximity was an
(18:15):
essential element to neighbors and what that So proximity in
an apartment complex, proximity in a rural area of the ozarks,
proximity in a subdivision. Those things all look slightly different, right,
but that proximity I think is the essential element. People
(18:35):
often say, how can I start being a better neighbor?
And I always say, learn the names of your neighbors,
find excuses to use their names, and then throw some
social get togethers. And so you do have to ring
a doorbell or write a note or do something to
learn their name. Initially. There's some things places you can
look online if you want to stalk people, I suppose
(18:58):
right and get their names. But then you have to
find ways to use the name. And that name is
so important, and proximity actually makes that easier because they
do live around you. Even if they are driving it
at night, shutting the garage door and not coming back out,
(19:18):
eventually they're going to mow their yard or you're going
to see them at the mailbox or something. And I
just know from personal experience there's a big difference between
saying Hello Matt versus hey you, and that name is
what begins it. And then you know those social gatherings
that helps build that trust eventually. I know in our
(19:38):
neighborhood that's led to some service projects and some things
we can do together and help others, and it's made
our life richer. It's made our neighborhood safer and cleaner
and friendlier, which are people's top three criteria for a neighborhood.
And I think it's helped our town also because some
(19:59):
people have stepped out to volunteer and serve.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
No doubt about it. From a republic resident to another,
as in you, David, I have seen both from the
sure the city council side of things, where the actions
that you've been taking and leading the charge on have
made positive impacts just on the community as a whole.
And also just as you're speaking, you're making me feel
(20:24):
almost a little guilty. I know, I maybe five five
neighbors by name in my area there, but we've got
a little pocketive republic to ourselves. And it makes me
think back to a couple of years ago, we had
a really young couple move in and within the first
(20:44):
six months, for the first time in our neighborhood's history,
they walked around with flyers and we're like, hey, let's
have a little neighborhood get together in our driveway. And
now doesn't surprise me at all. It shouldn't have that.
I think that that's a direct result of you doing
the things that you did in Republic, because here comes
this young couple nobody knows. You know, we knew each
(21:06):
other some and it was one of the coolest experiences ever.
And now I'm feeling guilty that me me as the
person that I am, which is weird that I would
be in any position of influence at all, But here
we are. Why haven't I kept that going? Because all
the things you're saying, if I'm getting I think what
(21:27):
you're saying, the ultimate goal of the engaged neighbor and
being an engaged neighbor is to create a better environment,
not just for yourself but for everybody around you. And
what a great goal to have. And why haven't I
done anything about it? You know? So, I guess you
mentioned how people ask you, how do I start with it?
Your three things. Learn somebody's name, find an excuse than
(21:50):
throw a git together.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Yeah, those are three steps. I mean our engaged Neighbor
pledge has more steps beyond that, but those are the
three places to stef and the things that you can
focus on. And I love that they did that. That's
really a great, a great effort to begin. I love
hearing those types of types of stories. But don't beat
(22:14):
yourself up too much. Again, I think the cultural narrative
now is that neighbors are quiet and leave me alone.
So we're pushing back. We're being countercultural in this. We're
also really looking for opinion leaders and early adopters in
the community because that's how you shift this cultural narrative.
(22:36):
And it's a rarity. It's a rarity. Ten ten percent
of Americans know the names of their eight immediate closest neighbors.
Almost forty eight percent will say they know none. So,
like I said, it's a cultural shift. Don't beat yourself
up too much. You know several names. That's a great
(22:57):
starting point. You're ahead of the curve right there.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
How about that. It's the first time in my entire
life I've been ahead of anything.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
This also opens the door for you, Clint, this is
a great opportunity with Missouri Good Neighbor Week coming up,
either in partnership with that young couple on your street
to do another little block party, get together something to
celebrate Missouri Good Neighbor Week.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
When is When is that?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah? It was. It was actually signed in a law
by the governor in twenty twenty two. It begins on
September twenty eighth, which is National Good Neighbor Day, and
it runs through October fourth. We have a website that's
real complicated to remember. It's Missouri Good Neighborweek dot com.
But there's you know, there's information on there that maybe
(23:45):
will give you ideas on things to do with neighbors.
There's a place where you can report your active neighboring
if you've done something for your neighbors or done a
block party during the week. We'd love to track those.
We have a goal this year of having twenty thousand
acts of reported. We had nineteen thousand last year statewide.
And if you enter your active neighboring, then you're entered
(24:06):
into some random drawings rises. Okay, we're also calculating those
that are turned in and to determine based in four
size categories the most neighborly cities in Missouri based on participation.
All right, And you can also nominate someone that you
believe is deserves recognition as an engaged neighbor, and they're
(24:29):
going to get a letter from us telling us about
telling them about their nomination, a memento, and then they'll
be entered into the contest where we picked ten people
across the state as the most engaged neighbors.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
So I feel like your world and my world are
now crossing over because you're running what is essentially like
a very very integrated into the community promotion that I like,
if it sounds very iHeartRadio, like nominated a neighbor, you
know what I mean? Like I could hear myself talking
about this on the air, and that's a neat intersection
(25:04):
right there. Already I'm pouring out. So this I got.
I got a press release from you, and I'm so,
by the way, do you have like a distribution list
is Missouri Good Neighbor? I'm sorry, I forgot the website
just now.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, well, there's there's several that float around. Engage neighbor
dot Com will take you to a collection page for
me that kind of links you to all these different things,
or the Missouri Good neighborweek dot com.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
I would urge you listening to go to one of
those two websites and get signed up for any kind
of notification or communication from them. It hit me at
a time where I, for the last couple of weeks
it's been a slog. You know, you get into these
ruts sometime and with work stuff and just life stuff,
and it kind of felt like a slog. And I
got that email from you, and I read it and
(25:51):
I was like, oh, my gosh, I really need to
talk to David, because every interaction I've ever had with
him or in his arena has just been a positive one,
not just for me personally, but for reinvigorating my faith
in the community and the people that are around me
that I may or may not know. And it's never bad,
(26:12):
it's always positive. And so yeah, if there's one thing
that I could urge people to do to take away
from this talk that we've had, it's to go to
one of those websites, get more information, and certainly sign
up for communication. Because everything you're saying is making a
ton of sense, and you're right, I know, we had
a man this must have been a year ago, a
breakout talk about you know, the epidemic that is male
(26:37):
loneliness specifically, Yes, and that's a big one. And I
was like, man, man, that's something that I wish I
could tackle. I wish I knew more about. Certainly, engaged
neighboring is a huge way to fix some of that
at least, And so a lot of things tying together
with mental health issues and my wife's a therapist. It's
(26:59):
just everything you're is making a lot of sense to me.
And it can't just be me, is what I'm trying
to say. I guarantee you other people hearing us are
like light bulbs all the time. So thanks for that.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Yeah, well, thank you for the opportunity to be on
the air too. I love the program. I love this opportunity,
and especially when you get to plug Missouri Good Neighbor
Week a little bit. We're kicking kicking that week off
and republic by showing the Join or Die documentary that
sounds a scary documentary about Robert Putman and his book
Bowling Alone. Okay, our disconnection that's really about joining something
(27:33):
that's going on in your community and we're going to
kick off Missouri Good Neighbor Week at the Republic Library
by having two showings of that documentary.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Well, I love, I love to hear that, and I
will certainly be on the lookout for a reminder about
that because I will forget it just how my brain works.
But also, that week that you mentioned is one of
those prime weeks year in and year out for an
outdoor sit down, hang out chat time. It's just the
weather's perfect in the evening for that, so it surely is.
(28:03):
That's certainly on my mind. I do want to read
your email signature one time. Don't just kidding? Do we
have time for that? I have it copied on so
I have a document up right here. It is half
of the page, David, and I single spaced it. It's
unbelievably long.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Now I know that I need to go in and
edit that town.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Nope, please never do, never change. It's my favorite thing.
David Burton, who works for the University of Missouri, is
a field specialist and specifically on the Engaged Neighbor program.
Give those websites one more time, David, because I want
to make sure people visit those I don't know. I'm
just feeling it inside me. I need people to go
see that and see what you guys are doing.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Thank you. Well, let's keep it simple. Engage neighbor dot
com it's a great place to start. Or Missouri Good
neighborweek dot com. I'll tell you all about the week.
Both of those have resources that you can access.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Awesome. Thanks for doing this, man, Yeah, thanks for your time. Yeah,
we should have done it in person. I feel like
doing it via video chat has almost defeated the entire
purpose of what you're trying to do. David, I should
have had you come in. Oh, this is the era.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Yes, that is all.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Right, the irony of it all all right. Well, David
Burton is certainly a name I hope that you remember,
and I hope you visit the websites if you're listening here.
Nothing that he said is not worth remembering or putting
into practice. It's I think, vital for our communities. And
I'm not a guy who sets up on a pulpit
and preaches much, but boy, if we can make this
(29:38):
community better for each other and our kids, and this
is a very simple way to do it, it's worth
a shot. So go to those websites. Visit with David
if you get a chance to follow him on social
media or whatever. But I just appreciate you taking this
time man, for you listening. Thank you for taking this
time as well. You can find back episodes if you
(29:58):
only part of this one you want to hear the
whole thing, I don't blame you. It's a good one.
Go to iHeart the Ozarks on your iHeartRadio app or
wherever you get your podcasts and you can stream it there.
Now for myself, Clint Gurley, the rest of our staff
here at iHeartRadio in Springfield, thank you so much for listening,
and have a great rest of your day.
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