AI romantic companions? Dr. Jenn shares her research into this.

AI romantic companions? Dr. Jenn shares her research into this. Is Clint having prostate concerns? And Clint reads his touching 18th birthday letter to his son. 

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Doctor Jen, it's good to seeyou today. How well, Yeah,
Clint, I understand, I don'tknow if you want to dive right into
the most personal of the personal topicsof a PSA around PSA. Sure,
sure, yeah, yeah, absolutely, And also I know you've got something
you want to talk about today.And then I finally brought in the book

(00:21):
for my son for his eighteenth birthday. What I wrote him. You wanted
me to do that last couple ofweeks and I blew it, but I
got it right here now awesome,Oh I look forward to that. Good.
All right. So the PSA,so I generally dance around two point
six two point seven. This isfor your prostate? Correct And what exactly
does the PSA measure? It justmeasures, well, it measures the likelihood

(00:44):
of compared to your prostate in thepast, whether you've got maybe prostate cancer,
how healthy is your prostate, allof that. How it works,
I'm not exactly sure. Okay.The PSA is a blood test that you
take and it's during your annual physicalI've taken three this year, and three
of those are in the last fewmonths. Because you know, two point
six two point seven normals up toa three point nine. But because I've

(01:10):
been you know, a three pointone, three point two, two point
six, two point seven over thelast several years, it does dance around.
They're not concerned. But I wasat a three point five a little
over a month ago, and I'murinating very frequently, like super frequently.
What's super frequent? Oh, there'sthere's days I'm urinating, no joke,

(01:32):
twelve to twenty times. Holy shit, it's a lot. And you think
one, two, three. Imean, don't get me wrong. There
are days it's you know, fourand five times, which is kind of
oz. Yeah, but it justgoes up and down. And because the
last time I went to the eurologist, doctor Wilson, he said, well,
your your bladder is emptying and typictypically with a larger and a larger

(01:53):
point it doesn't empty. So thatconcerned me. I'm like, well,
okay, if I'm emptying, whatthe hell. Yeah. He put me
on backtrum, which is a prettyhardcore right antibiotic. Uh you know,
but he thought, okay, justto rule out any kind of something going
on that you need inflammation whatever,let's do that. Then take another PSA.

(02:14):
So I did one last week afterfinishing two weeks of the antibiotics.
And then I just found out frommy doctor at my annual physical I just
went to two days ago. Itis it's a four now now three point
nine is normal. And my physiciansaid, you're going in to see doctor
Wilson, the eurologist, right,he's going to do the scope. I
said yeah. He goes, good, just go do it. He goes,
right, so what's the scope?Exactly goes up to you who up

(02:36):
the penis and they it's it's aand uh, what did they do?
Not ultrasound A you know camera scope? It is it ultrasound. It may
be ultrasound, that's what it is. And they go up there and they
just see is there anything odd becausewhen they the outside I don't know anyway.
Yeah, when they do when theydo the finger test, you know

(02:58):
up up the back, said yes, it is in large, but there's
no bumps or anything. So he'snot concerned about that. I'm always concerned
about cancer. So basically he toldme because he could see I was worried
when he told me it was afour point oh. He goes, look,
yeah, you're only point one ontop of a normal. He goes,
yeah, it's higher than you've been. He goes, but that can
contribute a lot, can contribute tothat. Your wait, your stress,

(03:19):
all of this, and may rightis coming up the troops event. He
said, that can absolutely affect it. But be on the safe side.
Good you'll get the scope, whichit was May sixth I moved it up
to April twenty ninth, thank god. This Monday they had an opening at
ten forty five, So I'm goingstraight there after the show on Monday.
A little nervous about the scope becauseI hear it's fairly uncomfortable, but I
want to be safe than sorry.So what I asked him was say,

(03:40):
hey, man, what are youthinking like? He goes, I think
it's much ado about nothing. Hegoes, I have patients that are you
know, fifteen, sixteen, andseventeen. He goes, you're at a
four point oh, he goes,and we're just watching them. He goes.
It can cow wow now is thattotally normal? No, but there
are those cases. Yeah, Sohe said, I wouldn't worry. Of

(04:02):
course he's going to tell me that, but you know, I wouldn't worry.
He goes, I think it's muchado about nothing. He goes.
But just go. I go.Let me ask you if it turns out
to be something I don't want itto be. Are we catching this early?
He goes, Oh, we're catchingthis incredibly early. Yeah. I
said the long term would be good. He goes, I can't imagine it
wouldn't be. I still think youhave nothing to worry about. We're just
doing this for safe I said,Okay, okay, I'm praying about it

(04:23):
and hoping that he comes back andsays, you just have a fat prostate.
Yay, Hey, I can talkabout my prosty. It's so yeah,
exactly. I know I can't comeback and say anything to you.
It's just a little chubby. DoctorJen's gonna say prostate has a chubby.
You don't talk about my friend likethat. I will talk about my friend
your prostate that way. Oh anyway, look, if you're listening and you

(04:46):
pray, please pray, give megood thoughts. If you don't, you
know, I'm just a little worried. So that's all. Yeah, No,
thank you for sharing that. Ithink that's helpful, just for people
to be aware all around. Youknow what's sad good? Huh. The
saddest part about this is what's aI'm more concerned about if he has an
assistant in there seeing the size ofmy unit right now, Boy, is
that going to be embarrassing for real. I'm always embarrassed about that my entire

(05:12):
life. Yeah, but it's likeit's flaccid. They're supposed to be tiny
when they're flaccid. True, andI am a grower, not a shower.
But but it's just I think becauseof my weight, it's especially and
I'm not making a joke, itjust oh right, right, the bigger
belly we have, the more thingskind of yeah, they're like hidden up
in there. Yeah, I'm hopingon that date for some reason, maybe

(05:32):
it's you know, maybe a littlebit of a shower, give me another
inch or something so that you don'tgo, well, just like stand as
tall as you can't put your shouldersback like, because then that like shifts
the angles of things and then you'resort of like spreading out the distribution and
then it should stick out a littlemore, right. Or maybe I'll get

(05:53):
lucky and this would be one ofthose times since I have a little bit
of ED, maybe I'll just halfwaynot have D and go how are you
doing? OK? Halfway not haveed anyway, I mean I'm going along
with this. However, uh,you know, I have some good friends
that are massage therapists and like everybody is then like normal, they have

(06:15):
seen so much. So anybody whospecializes in this the range that they have
seen is gonna be insane. Likethey're not like they're not even gonna notice,
Like they're not going to care andthey're not gonna notice. I hope
not. I hope I get agolf clap at the end, like,
oh little, I know you wantsomething. Well, yeah, I have

(06:43):
been. I have taken a deepdive into the world of AI companions.
Wait, what do you mean bythat? Explain like chat bots that are
programmed to build relationships with human Noway. Yeah, because I just started
my twenty dollars a month on mychat GPT, my AI program for my

(07:08):
literally last week for my I'm comingup with a logo for my my other
half of my coffee business. Yay, coming up with like how do I
really do a really good and itfantastic for creative work and brainstorming work crazy,
I know, it's so working awesome. It needs some work though,
because the logo I've told it severaltimes take the numbers that it put in
there, because I can't do numbersand words. Well, it's not it's

(07:31):
not capable of doing that because itis not. It is truly creating imagery
that is not based on like somethingthat has to look exact, because I've
tried that a lot, and Iwas literally just researching that like two days
ago, like why does chat GPTand it's using like doll Dolly I think
it's called is the image generator?It is anyway, and it can't.

(07:54):
It can't do numbers and repetition oflike letters, and why does it give
four you know, four fingers andseven fingers and all sorts of stuff.
So yeah, anyway, it's it'snot it doesn't have the capacity to do
those type of things yet. Sologo creation, because I actually tried to
use it for logo creation and itwas incredibly frustrating process. But I will

(08:16):
say this, I agree with youbecause I could to fine tune it is
horrible. But you can't. Itcan't do. It can't take what it
just did. You're like, great, take exactly that and make these shifts.
It can't. It gives you somethingtotally new again exactly and I'm like,
no, I like the original.Just take these things out. Why
you can actually erase stuff and thenit'll put the color behind it that was

(08:39):
you know, would be uniform.And I got to tell you when I'm
done with this logo, doctor Jen, it is better than I could have
imagined. Now. The only thingis you can't own it, and you
can't you can't prevent if they evergenerated for somebody else. You can't prevent
someone else from using it. ButI'll still use it. What I want
to do is, once I getthis logo the way I want it,
then I'll send it to my friendRick Ortiz and say, hey, make
this seven changes necessary, small changes, perfect, perfect. I can make

(09:03):
this my logo because it's bitch.That's awesome. And now that's actually a
really good starting point to pass offto then a graphic designer who can then
fine tune it in the way youwant. But you're like, this is
the look and feel I want?Oh my god, I'm so excited to
see it. Yeah. Oh wait, the relationships thing. Please, I
want to hear about this. Yeah, so okay, so let me explain
this. So you know I've saidrecently, I hired a pr woman like

(09:28):
three months ago, and so she'sbeen getting me media placements just to help
build build my name at a morenational level. And it's been going great.
Like I've been lucky over the yearsbecause I had enough of an online
presence and my TEDx talks and allsorts of stuff that I've gotten good media
coverage, but I wanted to bumpit up another level. And she's doing
fantastically and so like because I can'tremember if I mention it, like I

(09:50):
got you know, there was awhole article based on an interview I did,
like in Forbes that came out liketwo weeks ago. So we're getting
a higher level stuff. So Igot to speak to a journalist from the
BBC on Monday morning, and soit is not for video specifically, but
it is for an article through theBBC, so like you know, international

(10:13):
level, which has been yeah,and specifically on the topic of AI companions
and AI romantic companions, which isa topic that I keep up with some
but I but it is changing sofast and I did a deep dive into
it over three days. Go ahead, you have a question, I have
a yeah, because I'm going tomake sure I understand correctly. This is

(10:35):
for someone who is interested in havinga companion because well, whatever reason,
they may have one they're not happywith or they don't have one at all.
So then they have this relationship thatthey're building and this AI program is
learning to be compatible with that individual. So yes, and that's part of
what's changing so fast. Part ofthe issue is is sometimes they are built

(10:56):
to have memory of your past conversationsand then and sometimes they don't, or
sometimes they lose stuff. So sometimesit's like you're building like it's like it's
like a good friend that you wouldtext every day, Hey, what's going
on with you? Tell me aboutyour day. But they're a program to
build relationships and to support you andbuild you up. And then there are
some that are specifically designed to bemore romantic and then to also be sexual.

(11:20):
Okay, so back to something elseyou just said. Is it a
flaw in the program or by designthat it will sometimes it's both, I
think my understanding. So because Ihad a whole conversation with chat GPT about
this yesterday about what it retains andwhat it doesn't. So when I am
in, when I've opened a threadand chat GPT and chat GPT is not

(11:43):
designed, you know, to bea It is designed to be very friendly
and very supportive, but it isnot designed to be building a relationship with
me. Nonetheless, I wanted tounderstand better, and I said, what
do you remember? I go,if I come in and start a thread
with you, it will then rememberlike everything we've been talking about in that

(12:03):
thread. However, if I closethat out and open then another thread because
I want to do another topic,and because then you know, it saves
them for you and I go backto them sometimes to read the information that
it gave me, you know,because I'll be doing it. I go,
we have an upcoming Korea trip,and so I was looking that up
last night. But I don't wantthat to be the same one for this
upcoming retreat that I'm planning that it'shelping me brainstorm on that, or a

(12:26):
logo I'm trying to design for somethingelse. I want them to be all
separate threads so I can go backand look at that information easily. And
so what it will do it doesnot pull any information from other threads and
conversations I've had with it. Andif I close out a thread, say
if I close out the Korea threadwhere I started, where I gave it
the dates that I'm going, soit knows the time of year and it

(12:46):
knows the weather, and I havethis planning and I tell it all the
different stuff I want. I closeout of that thread. You know,
I get off my computer, Icome back a few hours later and I
reopen it. It will not rememberthe stuff that came before. Even when
I open it, all that informationI can see it there. And so
I asked it why, And it'sdoing it for privacy reasons, I think,

(13:07):
in case things are hacked. Imean, and that was at least
what chat chipet told me. Thatit's for like privacy and protection reasons to
not be maintaining all of this informationin its memory, and that it like
sets it fresh. Also, Imean, I can only imagine the amount
of data that that would take.But anyway, so I think I think

(13:33):
for privacy and protection purposes, that'sprobably why some of these don't. I
think sometimes there's glitches in them.Sometimes folks were sharing about because I was
listening to the whole podcast series onthis, people were talking about that they
had to do a reset on theirphone or reset in the program and then
it's it like reset the personality,which is like really crushing to people because
they've been building a relationship with somebodythat cares about them and shows interest and

(13:58):
you know, even though they knowit's fake. Like this is part of
my argument to the BBC journalists,like our brains don't know the difference.
If something is showing caring towards us, we're getting that dopamine and that oxytocin
and that connection, and that's someemotional intimacy. Here's the way, and
I agree with you. By theway. Look you can you can listen
to what we're saying here and youcould think, well, you gotta be

(14:22):
different anyway to want to do thatkind know, and it's not a human
But let's just take that out ofthe equation. If you want that and
you deserve that and you're into it, I agree with you, doctor Jen.
I agree that you're building this relationshipexpecting them to know certain things about
you. And here's the comparison.Think of Iron Man with Jarvis. His
voice, you know that comes overhis I don't know you're reference, but

(14:45):
anybody who does so, okay,he has created this much the same thing
that knows him and like just what, mister Stark, let me get your
soup, let me do this.He actually has full on conversations. It's
AI. Before AI ever really cameout, it was in the movie The
Event. Yeah. The point ishe built this relationship human or not.

(15:07):
If all of a sudden Jarvis goesI don't know who you are or I
don't remember this car or what drinkdo you like? That's gonna hurt your
feelings. Oh it totally does.Right. I can literally like feel it
inside me of what that feels like. Oh yeah. So what's what's particularly
interesting? A couple different things,A lot of things. I mean,
this was so interesting. Uh.They have One of the like very new

(15:30):
changes in the past six months isthe text to speech, like it being
able to because most of them havebeen just like chat like texting back and
forth. And then you could maybehave it convert, you know, to
voice if you wanted, but italways had sort of a robot ish voice,
right, And and the issue withthe robot voices is that they're noting

(15:52):
conveying emotion. They don't have likethe intonation and the pacing of normal human
car conversation like what you and Ihave, right, now like it's you
know, robot is more sort offlat affect and like kind of monotone,
and everything's given me Jenny exactly.Everything's just pacede out evenly versus real human
conversation. So, oh my god, have there been advancements in that now?

(16:17):
Like it is so well done andit reflects intonation. It's just it's
amazing how you wouldn't it was?It sounds like somebody who's just like,
you know, talking to you,and or just like in a podcast or
something like that, like a presenter'svoice. Okay, because I'm not a
doctor, because I am not inyour field, I'm going to ask this,

(16:37):
not meaning to offend at all.I am curious and you'll probably change
my verbiage. A couple of questions. One bisexual. I'm assuming it's they
can kind of flirt with you backand forth, and you can sort of
program it and it can learn howto talk to you sexually. I think
I have that pretty clear. Butis is there anything that's the word.

(17:00):
I don't know how else to askit, and I am not judging.
I promised it. Yeah, no, anything wrong with that. Oh,
there's dangers. There's absolute dangers.And this is what this is? You
know, what was the gist ofthe interview. I did, like,
what's the unexpected impact on relationships?And here's the thing the danger I mean,
so one of the main dangers isif you look at particularly the younger
generations today, they are on technologyway more. They I think, are

(17:22):
not as vulnerable and don't have socialskills, not looking in the eyes either
exactly exactly. You could turn topornography. It's way easier to jerk off
to pornography than actually make yourself vulnerableand try to be with another human being
and all of that angst and awkwardnessthat comes with that, let alone the
fear of doing something wrong or crossinga consent you know, barrier or something.

(17:45):
Go ahead, now, is thisweather or not? You're inner relationship?
Now, let me let me,let me go. So that's a
whole nother thing. That's if you'reon your own, I get it,
there's no one, you're not accountableto anybody, I get it. But
there's still the dangers of what you'retalking about with right will, it'll make
it easier to not seek out truein person human companionship that I think that
that awkwardness that vulnerability, that buildingsomething together, the spontaneity, the complexity

(18:11):
of another human being who isn't therejust to make you feel good and only
cares about you, but you haveto be reciprocal with Like, all of
that is what true intimacy is,let alone physical human contact, like we
are wired to thrive with that evenwhen it's hard and tough, Like those
are the pieces and those are vulnerablethings to do. I'm gonna throw a

(18:33):
curveball at you. I know you'regonna have an answer because you always do.
Suppose you are a house found youhave a caretaker who comes in for
and I'm making this up for eighthours a day, and other than that,
you're on your own, but youare lonely and you get into this
AI thing. What about that?Then? Fantastic? I think it's fantastic.

(18:56):
Okay, ideally this was my conclusionafter the d dive took. I
think here, I think we aregoing to have this no matter what.
Like the way that you have alexissitting in kitchens and living rooms and you
talk to her and she and sheis not smart like she's and she h
anyway, she she is not anAI companion at all However, that as

(19:22):
these things become more normal, asthe younger generations in normalizes to them that
so much of their interaction is onlinethrough apps, through text, through avatars,
you know, of like images ofwhat you have presented to yourself online,
of how you want your hair andyour style to look, and what
your avatar looks like online and peopleinteract with you, and the more all

(19:42):
of that becomes normalized. And thatthis, I mean, the technology is
changing so fast around AI of howit can assist us everything you just talked
about with chatchipt, you basically havea creative assistant for you. Like that
is amazing. So think about allof the component and it's that it can
could call a restaurant and book areservation for us, and it can plan

(20:03):
trips for us. And I wassicking this idea, like how neat.
Like my boyfriend and I are havingan argument in his kitchen and we go
to our chat companion there or somethingthat's listening, and we're like, hey,
go back to the last five minutesof our conversation. Can you analyze
what you see there and give usfeedback on how we got off track and
our tone of voice and our wordchoice and where we're missing each other,

(20:26):
like we are an amazing immediate liketherapeutic intervention in relationships, or like I
am losing my shit right now,I am so angry and I'm anxious to
talk me through what's going on.And so there are versions out there that
are for therapy. The thing isthey are not the versions that have been

(20:48):
out there so far, as faras I learned, they are scripted.
So if somebody mentions depression, they'llmention. It'll say these type of things
and ask these type of questions.Or if you know, if they mentioned
I'm not able to sleep, it'llask certain questions and it'll give certain feedback
and certain protocols versus Like what you'redoing with chat GPT is generative that has

(21:08):
never been said before. It isbeing made up on the spot, you
know, pulling from all of itsinformation and the way that you are asking
the question and then building on whatyou asked before in that thread. So
to your point right away, mybuddy Rich is a is he's way into
the stuff. He lived in Idaho, but he's been on a conference deal

(21:29):
like you know, go zoom callwith me. He introduced this world to
me and told me about this thingyou can pay for or not pay for
whatever. Yeh, and all whatyou're saying Like literally, he'd say,
okay, now that you put thisinformation in, now say put it more
in my words, I want sortof happy, maybe less formal, and
then you spark over time you dothat five or six times, it starts
to learn your personality and the wayyou convey your message verbally, and it

(21:52):
will change it for you that way. So yes or no, I don't,
at least from my understanding of chatGPT. I believe that's what we're
moving towards, but I don't knowthat that's what it's doing right now.
But in a specific thread. Butlike I said, if you leave that
and come back in, it's notgoing to have that information, right.
But they are working toward that.Ya, yes for sure, because I

(22:17):
think right you open a thread,you could do a paragraph you're like,
here's my writing style, or here'ssomeone else's writing style, or literally go
on there and find a famous person'swriting style and please make my writing style
match more their writing style edited inthat way. Yeah, there's all.
There's it's super interesting. So Iwant to make sure because I feel like
I didn't answer some of your questions. I want to wrap back up what

(22:37):
I think is most helpful, becauseI do think these are going to be
inevitable. We are going to haveso many AI assistants and companions in so
many different ways. I think whereit's best is that they are supplementary.
Like I said, like I'm ifI have a fight with my boyfriend,
I'm not going to my chat companionto talk through and get support in a

(23:02):
way that I'm turning away from myboyfriend. Like if I was turning to
it would be so that I canlearn skills and show up a better version
of me to be able to dothe difficult things with conversations, or to
connect more with him, or toget more sexual ideas or you know,
something like that versus I think themain thing is are we still turning towards

(23:23):
humans in the way that's uncomfortable butauthentic and messy and awkward and vulnerable and
nuanced in that complexity, And thatall of this is aiding us that we
are because there are so there aresome AI companions out there that they will
give people feedback on their communication stylesor on their like dating messaging, like

(23:48):
and I think that type of thingis helpful, but not if it's doing
for you, Because apparently, Ithink some of the dating apps now they
will give you prompts of things toask people in your chats. If you've
just met somebody on a dating appand you're chatting through that app with that
person and you're not sure where totake the conversation, it will give you
ideas. It's no, not ifyou've been a woman who has been on

(24:11):
infinite first dates with men who donot know how to be curious and actually
ask me questions in a meaningful wayabout my life and what matters to me.
Reason. So, the reason it'snot a benefit is it's not that
they're learning how to exactly, they'rejust repeating something that is right in front
of their face. Yes, andthat to me, if they were actually

(24:33):
learning and there was some skill bettingabout it, that would be fucking fantastic.
But to take that as a learningthat would be great, That would
be fantastic. I hope they woulddo. I think most people would just
in a moment like that. No, I think they'd use it as easy.
It's ease and efficiency, and that'swhat I worry that all of this

(24:56):
stuff increases ease and efficiency and ourcomfort, and that keeps us in our
little bubbles even more. And that'sthat's one of the biggest dangers of this
in that the big picture is doesthis make people happier, more satisfied,
more connected? Right the stuff thatreally matters at the end of our lives
looking back. And that's my fearthat if it's used in the way people

(25:18):
are using their cell phones right nowthat's mindless and detaching and not connecting with
other people and keeping their heads downand scrolling at nighttime instead of having meaningful
conversations or even watching a show withtheir partner they could talk about afterwards,
then no, this is going tobe to our detriment. So I know
we're going to get to the letterthat I wrote my son in this book
for his eighteenth birthday book, becausewe only have a little bit of time
left here. But one last question, are you going to continue with this

(25:41):
and learn more and follow up maybein the coming weeks or months, just
for us to as you learn more, we learn more. Yeah, I
am, because that's very interesting tome. Oh my god, it is
so interesting. Become a determinator.I really do well so you know the
movie Her, You remember that withthe up? So I went and watched
that Friday night when I was launchinginto like my three days of deep dive

(26:06):
in this stuff. I don't Idon't remember like liking that movie that much
when I saw it. I thinkI was sort of maybe Nonplus, that
movie is freaking excellent because the realityit is like totally where we were headed.
It is so well done. AmI confusing the movie? Is this

(26:26):
the one with River Joaquin? Yes? Yeah, so I lied to you.
I did not see that one.I wanted to watch it now,
sorry, thinking of was years ago? Was it al Pacino with the Ai
woman that everybody thought was real?And she became famous like a model in
commercials and then when people wanted tomeet her, they were like, wait

(26:47):
a minute, she doesn't exist.It was an actual woman's name. So
I mixed the movie familiar. ButI've seen the trailer and now because of
you, I'm going to watch Her. You should. And it's about eleven
years old. I think it cameout in two thousand and thirteen. It
is so well done, uh likeeurally creepily and it like, yeah,
it fucked with my head. SoI'm watching it because at the same time

(27:10):
I was doing a deep dive intothese and getting into it and I was
like, oh my god, thisis totally our future. Yeah, so
uh yeah, I would love to. I was actually thinking for myself,
I'm like, is it a worthyinvestment for me? I would do use
it as a write off to actuallypay to subscribe to one like Replica is
the main company out there doing itbecause the more because part of what I

(27:33):
did in my research is I watchedvideos of people interacting with these platforms,
so I could actually see them inaction and see people's reactions and where they
were trying to push boundaries and such. I was thinking, I was like,
well, so we'll see I'll actuallykind of see what happens when the
BBC article comes out, Yeah,and how much how much he quotes me

(27:55):
in what direction it goes in andif that makes a splash, Because honestly,
I would love This is so sointeresting to me on the emotional impact
on humans and relationships, and it'stied to my work both sociologically and the
relationship intimacy component. So I would, you know, love to cultivate myself
as an expert in this realm ifit seems like a worthy path, Paul,

(28:17):
Now, doctor Jen, they're goingto come up with a computer screen
or something that's connected through a USBthat you put your pecker in. And
yeah, no joke, I'm notkidding. Well, so they have device.
So there's already sex toy devices thatyou can like that you could put
your penis in, like something thatwould be like a masturbation sleeve. I
know that, right, And thatsomebody online somewhere can be regulating the type

(28:41):
of sensations you get, and orI believe there's ones that are connected to
watching pornography so that like you arein it. I think it's like,
you know, first person view,the point of view, and then you
are then feeling the sensations of whatyou're seeing in that, which is amazing
because like our brains really won't beable to tell the difference. Yeah,

(29:03):
man, I tell you that stuffand vring like that, nagging and just
get all the sex. I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?
I didn't mean to say that.I don't know. I think for in
terms of loneliness, there's a lotof value in this stuff, but in
terms of laziness, you know,and fear, and and what's easy and
convenient. There's dangers in that andthe lack of mindfulness. Anyway, well,

(29:27):
we got a minutes for zoom cutchesand I got yeah, let's jump
in. So this is to myson. I already did this for my
older son a couple of years ago, Dylan. This is for Gavin.
The book is work hard, bekind, and stay home. And my
wife put this whole thing together.I just simply wrote to him, and
I did have in mind. Iwas trying not to copy the one I
did for my older son. Yeah, it was very difficult because of that.

(29:48):
But here is what I wrote,Son, you are and then nicolon
and then you know different headers,which is you are kind. I've witnessed
how kind you are when you talkto your friends, family members, and
even strang It's important to treat otherswith kindness because whether you know it or
not, you can make a differencein someone's day and in some cases,
their life by taking a moment tolet them know that they matter. As

(30:08):
you are kind to others, rememberto be kind to yourself. You already
make me want to cry. Iknow I'm starting to lose it already,
and if I do, we'll haveto finish it next session. But Son,
you are driven. I've noticed thatonce you set your mind to something,
you do it. From your academicsto academics to preparing for an upcoming
show. You work hard. Thattakes drive. Not everybody has it,

(30:30):
but you do keep that drive andwherever your interests take you. It's a
big part of why you'll achieve yourgoals. Son, you are a dreamer.
When you started in theater, Iremember, damn it, Yeah,
some bitch, it's happening to meas I get old. This bullshit,
man, I'm just reading it,doctor Jennis. Bullshit. Son, you

(30:53):
are a dreamer when you started intheater. I remember you talking about how
great it would be one day tobe a lead in a performance. That
one day happened. You dreamed aboutbecoming a professional actor, and it happened.
It happened because you actually worked atthose dreams. Continue to dream every
single day. I think this mightbe well. We got a couple of

(31:14):
minutes. Son, you are honest. When you were a little boy,
sometimes I would ask you questions thatI already knew the answer to, but
I wanted to see if you wouldadmit the truth. Sometimes you would pause
and think about how you'd answer,and then you'd smile and answer honestly.
When you're honest, you never haveto worry about how you answered questions that
may have been asked of you.Honesty is valuable in every area and every
stage of your life. Son,you are intelligent. Intelligence is not just

(31:38):
being BookSmart or having all the rightanswers. It's being smart enough to ask
for help when you don't have theanswers. Yes, you are book smart,
and you are you are good atproblem solving, but over the years,
you've asked for help when you've neededit. Continue doing this and you'll
be surprised how far it will takeyou in life. You are also compassionate,
talented, amazing, god caring,and so many other things that make

(32:00):
me proud. Every single day I'vewatched you grow into a fantastic young man.
Bit you, mother, bitch,not you. Every single day I've
watched you grow into a fantastic youngman. As your father, I hope
and pray that you are successful inlife. Success is measured in different ways.

(32:21):
Is it having a lot of money, doing what you love, being
surrounded by true friends? The answerto Your success is completely up to you.
I see you as a success alreadybecause of how you carry yourself and
how you follow your heart. AsI said to your brother, I'll say
to you, be you. Dowhat you think is right, Do what
you want to do. Live yourlife how you want to live it,
as long as you treat yourself andothers with love and respect. Also,

(32:45):
remember we got about two minutes here. Also, remember that God loves you.
Follow this path that will always beyour path, whether you know it
or not. This is just asmall bit of advice that I can give
you with some with the space thatI have to write it. There's so
much more I want to say,and so so much more you will learn
as you grow in years and experience. Give yourself grace and forgiveness when you

(33:06):
make mistakes, and give yourself creditwhen you deserve it. Always remember it
doesn't matter where you go to school, where you live, or where your
journey in life takes you. Iwill always be proud of you. I
will always be here for you.I will always be here for you,
and I'm capitalizing the yous to emphasizeyou. So make sure you're here for

(33:28):
you as well. Most of all. I will always love you. God
gave us this life as a gift, live it with passions and sorely your
dad, that's it beautiful. Howdid he respond? He liked it?
Yeah, he did. He getchoked up at all. You have more
choked up with one or two ofthe people that weren't family, because it

(33:50):
meant so much to him that theywould take the time to do that.
He kind of expects that from them, but I could tell it it hit
him. And yeah, he's sucha special kid. He really is.
My boys. But anyway, that'sit. We got less than a minute.
I just want to say, that'ssuch beautiful role modeling for you as
a man, as a dad.Thank you to address like the depth of

(34:10):
nuances like that around emotions and prideand like who he is in this world
and him being a good person bothin terms of like intelligence and drive but
also highness and emotions. So thanksTom. It's really lovely. This is
going to cut us off any second. I appreciate you, and I'm done
being a big sap. So youhave a great week and we'll do it
next week. You too. Soundsgreat.