Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So glad to have you long this morning joining us now.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Tom Grafio is a certified financial planner talking about how
we need to cut the purse strings from the kids.
At what point do we do this? I tried, it's
seven years old.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Time.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
It didn't go well. My wife said, no, not yet,
not yet. Good morning, welcome in, thanks for being here.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Jac, is a pleasure to be with you. Your wife
might be right again.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
That's exactly right, But at what point?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Now?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I know that it gets into a big debate here
and as expensive as it is for kids to graduate
and get out in the real world, it's tough sometimes,
but you can't let them live in the basement forever.
So how do parents know when to cut their kids off?
Fifty percent of parents now apparently still supporting their adult children.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
It is sixty percent is a staggering number. And the
numbers when you kind of translate that JT turns into
like sixty million working adults are supporting their adult children.
And the number further goes into like how much about
fourteen hundred dollars a month? That's a month, so that's
more than the Hey, let's stay on the family plan
(01:03):
cellphone bill? Right, that's like paying for rent or food
or car payments. So it's a significant impact on adults,
on working adults trying to get their kids launched.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
So if somebody pulls in and says, hey, look, Tom,
you're a financial planner here, I need I need a
little help. As a dad, My wife and I are
kind of, you know, struggling here our you know, son
or daughter. They're twenty three, they've been out of school
for a couple of years now, and they just can't
seem to get any legs under them and go.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
So we're still supporting this.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
But in the meantime, you know, I've had obviously to
you know, pay for that fourteen hundred bucks a month,
stopped my contribution to my four oh one k or
I put down going on vacations with my wife because
I'm just trying to help my kid get going here.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I mean, is that not the loving thing to do?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I mean, at what point do you say, all right,
sit down, mom and dad, let's have a conversation.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Well I had it last week. I had an eighty
four year old grandmother who is supporting their grand her
grandson and he's thirty two, and I literally called the
guy into the office and I said, sit down, we're
going to have a conversation about you growing up. So
it definitely is a moment that happens when what really
is part of a JT is when you sit down
(02:15):
the parents and say what the and show them what
the impact of not contributing to their four owe k
Not contributing to their own future. When that fourteen hundred
dollars turns into what maybe five or ten years of
earlier retirement, they can get a little bit more motivated.
And if you're hiring a professional like a certified financial planner,
they're prepared to have these conversations generationally. And that's what
(02:36):
I think you do is let's make someone else a
bad guy if you need to. But it starts with
creating guardrails, creating boundaries, and starting to have uncomfortable conversations
that just need to happen.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
You know, It's it a little too late once they're
thirty two to have that conversation. And I bet Grandma
comes home sometimes in there he is sitting on the
couch playing video games instead of looking for a job.
But should you not be having this conversation about what
happens later in life? When kids are maybe in elementary school,
junior high, high school and start really, you know, here's
what happens, and here's what it should be like when
(03:09):
you grow up and graduate, and here's how we can
help you. You know, we'll give you a hand up,
but we're not going to give you handouts for a
long period of time.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Well, I really believe in that jten. And part of
it is that there's a difference between like helping, like
if something medical happens or there's a tragedy or something
like that, that's that's family and you help family, right,
and then there's the other situation where you go too
far and then you create this kind of hammock situation
where it becomes very comfortable for them and you're just
enabling things. So there's there's a fine line, and sometimes
(03:37):
we might need somebody call balls and strikes and jump
in there and say you know, this is right or
this is not right. But what it comes down to
is parents need a financial plan, kids need a budget. Yeah,
and that's where it really comes down to the parents
when they see the impact of a financial plan and
what they're doing, and that they don't teach financial literacy
(03:57):
in high school, they don't teach financial literacy as a kid.
The kids need to learn, and we're talking about adult
kids with thirty two is kind of an extreme example,
but it happened. But kids need it to learn the budget,
and there's lots of resources to learn how to budget.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
See.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I also think they ought to start a lot younger
with kids in schools, I mean elementary school. You know,
what does a quarter of diamond two nickels ad up to?
Is one thing, but how to balance the check boat?
You know, seventh grade might not be a bad idea
to go over the basics of what interests are all about,
what credit card debt is like, what it means to
have a loan, what it takes to live you know,
twenty five, thirty five, fifty years down the road. I mean,
(04:33):
these kind of conversations really ought to be kind of ingrained,
not only by the parents, but if they're not doing it,
you know, at least partner together and have schools start
bringing all this up a lot earlier than they usually do.
I'm all about it in too, And if you can't
do as a parent to cut the kids off, I
like your idea tom as far as bringing in a
financial planner and maybe tell the kids, look, here's an idea.
(04:53):
I'm going to help you get, you know, launched here
and be successful. Let's bring it a professional money person
to show you how to do it, and then you
can have that tough conversation for me. Thank you, Tom,
I appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Great, we'll do that for you.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Great advice buddy. We'll have you back. I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
This morning, Tom Grafio Financial Planner has some great ideas
for you.
So glad to have you long this morning joining us now.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Tom Grafio is a certified financial planner talking about how
we need to cut the purse strings from the kids.
At what point do we do this? I tried, it's
seven years old.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Time.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
It didn't go well. My wife said, no, not yet,
not yet. Good morning, welcome in, thanks for being here.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Jac, is a pleasure to be with you. Your wife
might be right again.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
That's exactly right, But at what point?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Now?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I know that it gets into a big debate here
and as expensive as it is for kids to graduate
and get out in the real world, it's tough sometimes,
but you can't let them live in the basement forever.
So how do parents know when to cut their kids off?
Fifty percent of parents now apparently still supporting their adult children.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
It is sixty percent is a staggering number. And the
numbers when you kind of translate that JT turns into
like sixty million working adults are supporting their adult children.
And the number further goes into like how much about
fourteen hundred dollars a month? That's a month, so that's
more than the Hey, let's stay on the family plan
(01:03):
cellphone bill? Right, that's like paying for rent or food
or car payments. So it's a significant impact on adults,
on working adults trying to get their kids launched.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
So if somebody pulls in and says, hey, look, Tom,
you're a financial planner here, I need I need a
little help. As a dad, My wife and I are
kind of, you know, struggling here our you know, son
or daughter. They're twenty three, they've been out of school
for a couple of years now, and they just can't
seem to get any legs under them and go.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
So we're still supporting this.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
But in the meantime, you know, I've had obviously to
you know, pay for that fourteen hundred bucks a month,
stopped my contribution to my four oh one k or
I put down going on vacations with my wife because
I'm just trying to help my kid get going here.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I mean, is that not the loving thing to do?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I mean, at what point do you say, all right,
sit down, mom and dad, let's have a conversation.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Well I had it last week. I had an eighty
four year old grandmother who is supporting their grand her
grandson and he's thirty two, and I literally called the
guy into the office and I said, sit down, we're
going to have a conversation about you growing up. So
it definitely is a moment that happens when what really
is part of a JT is when you sit down
(02:15):
the parents and say what the and show them what
the impact of not contributing to their four owe k
Not contributing to their own future. When that fourteen hundred
dollars turns into what maybe five or ten years of
earlier retirement, they can get a little bit more motivated.
And if you're hiring a professional like a certified financial planner,
they're prepared to have these conversations generationally. And that's what
(02:36):
I think you do is let's make someone else a
bad guy if you need to. But it starts with
creating guardrails, creating boundaries, and starting to have uncomfortable conversations
that just need to happen.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
You know, It's it a little too late once they're
thirty two to have that conversation. And I bet Grandma
comes home sometimes in there he is sitting on the
couch playing video games instead of looking for a job.
But should you not be having this conversation about what
happens later in life? When kids are maybe in elementary school,
junior high, high school and start really, you know, here's
what happens, and here's what it should be like when
(03:09):
you grow up and graduate, and here's how we can
help you. You know, we'll give you a hand up,
but we're not going to give you handouts for a
long period of time.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Well, I really believe in that jten. And part of
it is that there's a difference between like helping, like
if something medical happens or there's a tragedy or something
like that, that's that's family and you help family, right,
and then there's the other situation where you go too
far and then you create this kind of hammock situation
where it becomes very comfortable for them and you're just
enabling things. So there's there's a fine line, and sometimes
(03:37):
we might need somebody call balls and strikes and jump
in there and say you know, this is right or
this is not right. But what it comes down to
is parents need a financial plan, kids need a budget. Yeah,
and that's where it really comes down to the parents
when they see the impact of a financial plan and
what they're doing, and that they don't teach financial literacy
(03:57):
in high school, they don't teach financial literacy as a kid.
The kids need to learn, and we're talking about adult
kids with thirty two is kind of an extreme example,
but it happened. But kids need it to learn the budget,
and there's lots of resources to learn how to budget.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
See.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I also think they ought to start a lot younger
with kids in schools, I mean elementary school. You know,
what does a quarter of diamond two nickels ad up to?
Is one thing, but how to balance the check boat?
You know, seventh grade might not be a bad idea
to go over the basics of what interests are all about,
what credit card debt is like, what it means to
have a loan, what it takes to live you know,
twenty five, thirty five, fifty years down the road. I mean,
(04:33):
these kind of conversations really ought to be kind of ingrained,
not only by the parents, but if they're not doing it,
you know, at least partner together and have schools start
bringing all this up a lot earlier than they usually do.
I'm all about it in too, And if you can't
do as a parent to cut the kids off, I
like your idea tom as far as bringing in a
financial planner and maybe tell the kids, look, here's an idea.
(04:53):
I'm going to help you get, you know, launched here
and be successful. Let's bring it a professional money person
to show you how to do it, and then you
can have that tough conversation for me. Thank you, Tom,
I appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Great, we'll do that for you.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Great advice buddy. We'll have you back. I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
This morning, Tom Grafio Financial Planner has some great ideas
for you.
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