Is Happy Fat a Real Thing?

Are you really more likely to get fat once you get into a happy relationship? ...and who is the most susceptible?

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome back to the podcast. Thisis called off the Year. It's more
banter, less filter, it's thethings we talk about when the mics aren't
on. Everything get a little racy, you can. It's been known to
get a little racy, especially withCorey on board. Now you're welcome.
Slightly frightening sometimes, what are wediscussing? So scientists have drilled down who

(00:21):
is more likely to quote let themselvesgo and gain what they call happy fat
I'm actually kind of surprised of theresults of this study. Really, I'm
not not at all. How manytimes you would you be surprised? Haven't
you seen a couple? Now,granted, if I think about some of
my girlfriends with their husbands, looklike yep, this is spot on.
But I know a lot of womenwho are much larger than their mates.

(00:46):
Grower feeder, I mean, isthat a Florida thing? Well, the
stats we know someone, we knowsomeone here, we do we do?
Slow down? Now, come on, you're getting dangerously close. We're tickling.
Give me these stats. So okay, so they say that men.
Okay, so your BMI rises,specifically, finding the more satisfied someone is

(01:11):
in their intimate relationship, the morelikely they are to become obese. It
is could referred to as happy fat, but men are more likely to Yes,
our brains get rewired. When we'rein love. The only thing we're
thinking about is that person, thatobject of our desire. Everything else falls
by the wayside. That's the logic. And I'm gonna say this. I'm

(01:32):
going to give ladies a pass becausey'all have babies and we don't. There
is no excuse for for dudes unlesslook if it's medical, cool, But
other than that, I feel likethere are a lot of dudes out there
and I have been that guy that'sjust like, yo, I just eat
big. I'm just a big eater. This is my this is my this
is my genetics, this is myDo you ever watch my six hundred pound

(01:53):
life? No? I can't,So I watched the imagine the concept though.
No. But the thing thing is, though, when you're bedridden and
you have to rely on somebody elseto take care of you, that's a
really big responsibility. But I'll neverforget this one episode where the woman couldn't
make it to the kitchen, soher husband brought her the deep friar so

(02:14):
she can make deep fried wantons inthe beds. That a mental issue on
some levels, that's like some bizarrocodependency love. I don't know. I
don't know what the relationship is.I know sometimes people eat when it's an
emotional thing. Like when we werebuying and selling the house, I couldn't
keep food down. Jeff went theother way, and now he's back in
the gym and doing cardio and fasting, and he's losing weight. I think

(02:38):
with this specifically, we're not talkingabout six hundred pounds bedridden. No,
we're just talking about you're letting yourselfgo. You're getting moves, you're getting
a beer belly. Yeah, youknow, you could be in better shape.
Here's my take on this. Iam the complete opposite. Tell me,
I want to look as incredible asI can because I'm in love and

(02:59):
I want her to be as inlove with me as I am. And
you know what I mean, likelike I don't I want to like be
naked and her being like yo,that's my man. Like I want her
to be excited about that. Youjust put that image in my brain with
Jason naked. You know what,I saved myself the topic today. I'm

(03:19):
gonna give you the real I thinkabout him in a Leopard's speedo. That's
that saves me from from full fullfrontal nudity. But you're feeling what I'm
putting down here. I am.Of course, No. We don't want
to give our wives any more reasonto find us unattractive. Like there was
one time I took my shirt offand I literally heard my wife go,
oh, that'll that'll hit. Oh. I mean, I don't think she

(03:40):
even knew that she did it hurt, but of course I heard it because
you know you're waiting for it.I would die if I got naked.
And Jeff went, whoa, wedie was like, whoa, that's awful.
Again, She's not a bad person. I think it was more kind
of involve or whatever. You werelike, this is my wake up A

(04:03):
totally. That's how I take it, right, But I have a really
strong what's called internal locus of control. I always put the onus on myself.
I'm always like, what can Ido to be better? You're kind
of the same way, Yeah,you know, Yeah, I mean I
do. I try to eat rightand stay in shape for me too,
because it makes me feel good andI enjoy it. Correct but also I'm

(04:28):
always thinking about what is she gonnathink about this too? That is also
a motivator. You know. It'scrazy when Jeff was feeling like he was
at as big as he said tome, He's like, I'm sorry,
and I go for what And he'slike for letting myself go wow? And
I was like, don't be sorry. We've been going through a lot.
I mean just ever since this allstarted, it's been me traveling or him
traveling, figuring out the situation wherewe're gonna live, him trying to get

(04:50):
a job here. It's like,I don't blame you. That's a quote
from pulp fiction. What pride comewith you? No, we don't see
that. We're anymore time for anedit anyway, I got it, I
got it. I just think it'syou know, you have to understand your
person and well, our body isgoing to be different all the time.

(05:12):
And that's my other point was,I know a lot of ladies have a
lot of it's harder I think asa woman to lose weight. A and
b uh again, y'all have babies. We don't. I don't have that
excuse me. You know. Myexcuse is, you know, Hamburger helper.
But my favorite moment was having lunchwith with Corey and her bestie Kim,

(05:34):
and they were lamenting the fact thatneither one could lose weight while we
were sucking down a charcuterie board andjust glasses of chardon ey. I didn't
say anything, She's just hard onherself, but I was dying. I
mean, you have to eat outless and drink less. Listen. I

(05:55):
just want you to know that Iput on a pair of pants on Saturday
that I haven't worn yet, andI bought that maybe seven years ago.
Goes. It was the goal toget them on and I was able to
shut them and they were not uncomfortable. So it's like, these pants are
wearing today are very You're like tolooking skinny. I noticed that, says
yeah, I mean, jeez,okay, Queen, I see you going
on here. Here's the thing abouteating out is that restaurant food, for

(06:18):
the most part, is not designedto be eating every day. It's designed
to be an experience, to bea celebration, to be a holiday.
I had a friend own a restaurant. He would literally say, yeah,
our menu kills people like because theyover stuff a portions. Yeah, portions
are not I never finish a meal. People that eat out two, three,

(06:40):
four, five times a week haveno hope. Really, you have
to be cognitive with you're expensive.But the thing with broke being so hard
on his grind, I was like, are you cheating on me? I
mean, what's happening here? It'smy favorite theory. Think about it,
though. Jason put it together like, oh, I know, but don't
say that stuff to guys, goodguys like me and Jeff, like,

(07:00):
yo, I'm right here, that'ssorry, because you always bird dogging that
ass. See he's a good guy. No, I was gonna say,
like six months into me going intothe gym, my wife confronted me said
i'ld ask you if I was achievingmid life crisis, and I was like,
no, I just I really enjoyit. That was the truth,
to be honest, Jeff is tooclassy to cheat. He would just leave,

(07:23):
He would just be gone. Youknow, he wouldn't. He wouldn't
do that because he's too He respectshimself too much to do that. But
it's a lot of its health too. He wants to get his blood pressure
and check, he wants to beIt's everything because once you go over forty,
you got to fight the fight,don't I know it? Bro.
We were just talking about this twodays ago on our yesterday, our boss

(07:45):
was in here and we were talkingabout how Corey as a woman, a
lot of times you can age andguys will think you're hot to the day
you die. Guys over forty,we have to work and not looking creepy,
un in which case faces look creepierthan others. You got to be
aware of your creep level and thenwork to correct it. Correct Also the

(08:09):
random noises you make. There's aguy who works here who every time I
pass by. Yeah, oh,I thought you were talking about me.
No, you're different, You're different. Noises noisy? Yeah, but his
are like what it is about thenoises? It must be a certain age
thing. Although Jason, you makenoises too. He does, do we
just we just don't see you asoften as we used to do. Very
noisy at home, and I knowit bugs everybody. So Jason has a

(08:31):
deviated septum or something going on todiagnose with the E N T. I
don't know what d I don't knowwhat's going on up here. But have
you ever been in a room whenJason literally stops breathing. No. Well,
I mean the most noticeable thing isif I eat around you enough,
you'll notice I can't breathe through mynose. My sister does my mouth open.

(08:52):
He literally be sitting there quietly andthen you hear. It's like that's
how I wake up every more.It's like daytime. I have apnea.
Bro, you know I've been sleeptested. I told you I went to
a sleep center in San Francisco worriedabout your cortisol levels. Dog, Bro,
I went to a sleep center inSan Francisco. Your wife, They
love that. They gave the doctor'slike, well, you're a perfectly healthy

(09:15):
young man that just wakes up atnight a lot to go pee here?
Bye. I was like, okay, you waking up put stress on your
body, which extreets cortisol, whichis bad for your hells bad. That's
why I went to the doctor andtalked to him about it, and they
couldn't fix me. New doctor,I don't know what's going wrong there anyway.
This isn't the top anyway. Sorry. You getting back to the fat
and happy lifestyle. I mean,do you see you and Jeff getting into

(09:39):
like a fitness war now since he'sso, I definitely need to get up
on my game. Because when Iwas living in my studio, I walked
all the time. So that's whyhow I got my steps in every day.
Now I'm not doing that. I'mdriving to work and you know,
I take the stairs. But that'snot the same as doing like forty five
minutes of cardio, which would bemy jam. I do need to pick

(10:01):
up a pace just because I wantto feel better, healthier, sleep better,
stuff like that. You could losea lot of weight just by walking.
I was amazed at the amount ofweight I dropped when I first moved
here from Fresno, where you driveeverywhere. This was ninety eight and I
moved into San Francisco, didn't havea car. I left my car at
my parents' house by design and walkedand took mass transit everywhere. And I

(10:22):
dropped like thirty pounds almost immediately.Now, I was in my twenties,
so we just put that. Yeah, it's a little easier when you're in
the twenties. But when Jeff andI first started dating, like in the
two year, I think it wastwo or three years before we got Yeah,
at least three years before we gotmarried, I lose thirty pounds for
the wedding lot. How'd you dothat? I did an eating plan and
I worked out, and I hadmotivation because we got married in Mexico and

(10:46):
I was going to be in abathing suit in front of people. This
wasn't just for a wedding dress.And when they got the wedding pictures back
one of my mother in law's friendsbecause she threw me a bridle shower in
North Dakota and at the time myhair was short, blonde, and I
was fat. And they saw thewedding photos writ extensions, long brunette hair
and thin. She's like, didJeff marry a different girl? Damn yes

(11:09):
he did, Yes he did.She staged herself like like a real estate
Now I'm thinking about this now.I don't really understand getting fat when you're
in love. That's like anti loveto me. No, how did that
show you disrespect to your partner?You found your person and you're nesting now
you're just you're just settling down likeI did it. We did it,
my wife and I. I don'twant to say she gained twenty five pounds

(11:31):
because I don't know but like,I definitely gained twenty five pounds just eating
and laughing. I wasn't going tothe gym as much. Like when I
met Jeff. I was in oneof the best shapes of my life working
out. You could see my guns. It was like insane. And then
slowly but surely I wasn't eating thesame because I was going out to eat
with this person. Do you wantto order pizza? Okay, let's order
a pizza and watch a movie.Stuff I just didn't do on my own.

(11:54):
Yeah, so you're both you're doingit together, yes, all right,
if it's one sided, that bugsme. Before I met my current
wife, I was two hundred andsixty pounds and I couldn't get a date
to save my life. But thatwas after a divorce, correct, correct,
probably doing some emotional eating. Andthen I dropped, like I dropped
down to two oh six, andI felt really good about myself. And

(12:16):
again, for me, it's notabout societal pressures. It's a A I'm
trying to get laid B. Iwant to look at the mirror and be
proud of what I look like.And that's just a motivator for me.
And then I met my wife andI slapped back on twenty twenty five pounds.
Like, that'sy. It's sad,but it's easier to do it,
especially in your forties when you metor after you got married. After we

(12:37):
met, what so we were stilljust dating and the two of us put
on weight just because we were sohappy with each other. And according to
this study, that's an actual thing. Love rewires your brain. It's called
rather be with your partner than goto the gym. Yeah, And that's
why I'm so impressed with Jeff,because like he walks thirty minutes of a

(12:58):
gym, thirty minutes home, he'sworking out, he's eating right, good,
bought me a car. Maybe Ishould ask him if he's cheating.
It's like, straight to his face. You no, I've never, I've
never. I'm not serious about I'mgoing to propose a question to you,
guys. I'm gonna propose a questionto you guys. Yeah, Corey,
Yes, what if Jeff put onone hundred pounds? Are you sticking around?

(13:22):
I'd stick around, but I would, I would. I would be
more forceful about getting him back inshape. If Jeff put on one hundred
pounds and refused to do anything aboutit that I would have to cause problems.
Well then, because I'm not gonnawant to have sex with you.
I mean that's the thing. LikeI look at myself and go, would
I want to have sex with me? And I mean, but I have

(13:43):
a rule with him. If Ihave weigh more than he does, he
can have sex with somebody else.Damn three, I'm fine. Jake said,
this is your chance. Jesus,you're dumb. That's a gross line
them up. But I would haveto really put on some weight to weigh

(14:05):
more than he does. Okay,Wow, I don't know the answer.
Yeah, that's all wow. Inshape if he put a that's his goal
to forty Okay, can you imaginetwo forty in shape? Jason? I
can't. Yeah no, because Ilook at like, you know, bodybuilder
content and stuff. Absolutely, Iknow what it looks like. You're a
hulk. Good God. I usedtraining for the FBI. I was like,

(14:28):
oh, damn, never lose thisbody. Yeah, it was nuts.
He has his trainer was yao men'strainer, the basketball basketball guy.
Yeah, that was his personal trainer. Yeah. I just don't subscribe to
this idea that going back to it, like so many of my friends are
like, I'm just a big eaterman, I just this is just what
I needs, my body needs.Just gave up because it's hard work to

(14:48):
eat right and work out. ButI was told my whole life. For
example, I come from a longline of big german dudes on my mom's
side, my dad's side Mexican,not as big, but on my mom's
side six three sixty in shape ina farmer way, not in a bodybuilder
way. I'm built like my grandfather, and my mom would always say,

(15:09):
don't worry about it, it's justyour genetics and I but my grandfather also
dropped dead at fifty one. Andalso he also ate like crap and smoked
two packs a day, So don'ttell me there aren't some choices going on
there. Yeah, exactly, ButI don't know. It's easier to just
go through the drive through than goto the store and prepare a meal.
Boy, is it? But Ifelt I feel better about myself if I

(15:33):
make a salad, yes, onehundred percent, all right, then of
course I put that chunky blue cheeseon it, and there's the whole thing's
out the windows. It was mynickname in high school, Ranch dressing,
chunky blue cheese. Yes, welllunchtime fellas, ladies. All right,
we're gonna get out of here.Thank you for listening. Uh, you
can catch us online at all times. Go with the social media. Corey

(15:54):
Okay, so you got the book, faces, you got the ig you've
got? I want your life story? What is it? At core Threads?
Oh you want that? I guessyou wanted. Where you can find
us Corey dot Foley on Instagram,Jason Radio, Jason d on Ig at
It's Marcus d Everywhere online and atMarcus and Corey Everywhere online for our regular

(16:18):
morning show here in the Bay Area. We appreciate you listen for listening,
and we will talk to you nextweek. Bye.