September 23, 2024 • 28 mins
In this enlightening episode of “Covering Your Health,” host Evelyn Erives welcomes Dr. Michelle Feng, a licensed clinical geropsychologist specializing in behavioral health. Together, they explore the complexities of aging, discussing both the psychological and physical aspects. Dr. Feng shares her expert insights on maintaining mental well-being, coping with the challenges of aging, and embracing the golden years with grace and resilience. Whether you’re approaching this stage of life yourself or supporting a loved one, this episode offers valuable advice and practical tips to navigate the journey of aging with confidence and positivity. Tune in for an engaging and informative discussion that promises to inspire and empower.
For more information on this show's topic visit IEHP.org or (800) 440-IEHP.
To learn more about Dr. Feng’s work visit her website DrMichelleFeng.com
Reach out to Evelyn via Instagram @evelynerives or email her at EvelynErives@iHeartMedia.com
For more information on this show's topic visit IEHP.org or (800) 440-IEHP.
To learn more about Dr. Feng’s work visit her website DrMichelleFeng.com
Reach out to Evelyn via Instagram @evelynerives or email her at EvelynErives@iHeartMedia.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, welcome to another episode of Covering Your Help. Yay,
we have Lyd Revs presented by IEHP. I'm so excited
to have you here today. I have a little update
on my own journey that I have been on. It's
a wellness journey. Since launching this podcast, I've been so
inspired to do more, to move my body more, to
(00:21):
get more healthy. And I think I told you quite
a few episodes ago that I was training for a
half marathon and I completed it last weekend, so I'm
I feel so good. I have to tell you I
finally feel like I can do it again, like I am.
I was nervous. I wasn't going to be able to
It had been eight years since I got out there
(00:42):
on the course and I did a run Disney one
and I got out there. I did a ten k
on a Saturday, and I did the half marathon on
a Sunday. And I have to say a huge thank
you to IHP and the Covering Your Health podcast because
it really has inspired me to do it, to get
out there and push myself and know that I can
(01:04):
do it. And it's really mental, right, It's knowing that
you're able to get out there and do it again
and even eight years later when I'm a little older.
So speaking of getting a little older, that's what we're
going to be talking about today. We're going to talk
about the world of aging. I know, it's a word
that sometimes you go and then other times you go, yeah, yeah,
(01:27):
like aging, it depends. It's all perspective, and actually we're
going to talk a lot about that perspective right there.
It can be scary, but there are some beautiful organizations
like the Inland Coalition on Aging and today's guest doctor
Michelle Thing. They're working to help really with these uncertainties
about aging, creating more awareness and the importance of really
(01:50):
caring for the aging population, which includes ourselves and will
include ourselves one day. Right now here in the Inland
and it's estimated that the number of residents aged sixty
and older is projected to triple in the coming years
for various reasons including making ends meet on a fixed
(02:11):
income to affordable housing. There's going to be a lot
of things that we need to discuss. So with this
increase in growth comes the need for implementation of programs
and services to support this population of people. Groups like
the Coalition on Aging are working toward implementing a solution
(02:32):
by creating a roadmap on aging tailored to address the
unique needs of this region. So I am so excited
to chat with doctor Fang. She is getting in on
the action by providing key insights into how we individually
support the aging population and the golden years of our
(02:54):
life and really the caregivers that are going to have
to really be there for our aid loved ones or
for us.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Welcome to Covering Your Health, a wellness podcast dedicated to
covering all areas of living a healthy and happy lifestyle,
from healthy hearts to understanding health plans and everything in between.
Each episode will provide you with a better understanding of
managing your health, preventative care, and staying on the right
path for your family's wellness journey. The Covering Your Health
(03:24):
podcast is presented by i EhP. Now your host Evelina Revez.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Well, let's get right into it. Welcome doctor Michelle Fang.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Hello, Hye, nice to be here.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
I am so excited to talk to you today because
I really feel like this is one of those topics
that needs to be discussed because at some point everybody's
gonna understand, everyone will need a little knowledge on aging.
Really right now, before we get into everything, I want
to hear all about you. Tell me how you went
into this line of work. Is this something? Is aging
(04:02):
something always that you've always had in the back of
your mind since you were young, at like eleven years old.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
No, but yeah, but yeah absolutely so. I you know,
I've always been interested in understanding why people do what
do what would do what they do? Right, So the
human behavior part, that's something I've I've always had an
interested in interest in.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
And I became interested in the field.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Of psychology from just taking a college course so abnormal psychology.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
The professor at UC San Diego. He was so good,
and I just just had these real life stories.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Yeah I thought it was called abnormal psychology. Yes, yes,
oh yeah that sounds so that sounds fun.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I was just like understanding all the like the breadth
of like human human ability and human behavior.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Right, So it was it was great.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
I knew I wanted to get into the field. So
I went to USC for graduate school and I was
interested at that time in depression, like understanding depression. And
it just so happened that my advisor at the time
was the dean of the Gerontology School, so USC is
one of the first gerontology and gerropsychology programs in the US.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
So there's a lot of history.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
There's great people, passionate people researching the subject of aging,
aging well, the process of it, the challenges that come
with it, and so a lot of my kind of
specialization was due to opportunity, So just seeing what was available,
and my advisor was saying, you know, this is going
to be a really important topic. It is already, but
(05:40):
people weren't talking about it, but it's going yes, not enough,
and it's going to be. And so that's how I
got into it.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
And then in terms of.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
The therapy piece, I as a trainee, I started talking
to older adults and who were often caregivers, and I
just loved I love being able to sit with people
and their experience, their challenges, their strengths, you know, and
and often like helping people to find themselves again and
(06:10):
so personally, so there's that part the therapy piece, kind
of going into the jaral world. And personally, I had
a grandmother, my mother's mother, and she had Alzheimer's disease
and lived with us for some period of time, and
I saw the way that my mom and the family
you know, cared for her, and a lot of the
emotional aspects of that, right, yeah, so you know, caregiving,
(06:36):
the emotional parts kind of stick with us even after
the caregiving's over.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
So there's all these phases and it's stuck with me too.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
So you know, I think about that a lot when
I when I do the work that I do.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, oh that's special, and I do feel like you know,
caregivers sometimes we go, oh, you know, it's it's a
special person that is a caregiver, right, which we all
know that, but you don't realize that you're probably going
to end up being one, even if you think it's
for somebody else. You know, you're at some point in
your life going to be when in of course, if
you're a mom, you know what that's like already, or
(07:08):
a dad, but then you forget about how you may
be in a sense mothering and fathering your own parents
at some point.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
The unexpected career, yeah right.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Exactly, the thing you weren't sure you trained forever, but
all of a sudden, there you are. Can we elaborate
a little bit on your work as so you're a
gerro psychologist is that now you say it, man, that's
a big word. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Yeah, So what is a jerrop psychologist?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:39):
When Yeah, so in the same way that there are
psychologists who specialize in working with children or you know, teenagers.
So there are issues that come up within like different
life stages. Yeah, and so gero psychologists are specialized in
working with older adults or common issues that come up
as get older, and often that includes family.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Right.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
So some common issues for example, anxiety related to health concerns,
fear of falling after a retirement sometimes, you know, retirement
can be a respector for depression, caring for a partner,
managing medical conditions, Alzheimer's, cucyse, grief and loss, all of
these different things that are not because of aging but
(08:25):
are more common as you get older.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Right, okay, Yeah, so that is what you work on.
You focus on the emotional side kind of of whatening
as you age.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
It's like all the stuff that's right under the surface. Yeah,
and that people we don't tend to want to talk
about in our society especially, but it affects all of us, right.
And so actually, for me, a lot of my work
has been in skilled nursing facilities. So I started my
career as a staff psychologist at Executive Mental Health, the
company I work for, and providing bedside therapy and assessments
(09:01):
to residents who are, you know, having a difficult time
in there.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You know, just that's just as important as the aches
and the pains, you know, or the things we think,
Oh that's important, oh my back, my hip. I mean,
it's the mental and it's the things that are causing
you know, sometimes your aches and pains actually are from
some of that mental.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
You're like this right now, Yeah, hind body is so connected.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Yeah, and maybe that's one of those misconceptions. Let's talk
a little bit about that. What are some misconceptions about
aging that you're really hoping that you get to tackle
with your own work.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Oh yeah, that's a great question. So I'll say three things.
So the first is there's this misconception that depression is
a normal part of aging. So, you know, I think,
whether we think of it directly or indirectly, this idea
that like, well, at a certain point.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
You know, this person's depressed.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Okay, well they're they're old, right, and and it's just
not true. There are some there are thriving eighty year
olds and there are twenty year olds that are struggling
and vice versa, right, And and you know, the reality
is the more we live, the longer we live, the
more experiences that we have. And some of those experiences
(10:20):
are tough. Some people that are we are close to
pass away and and we grieve, but that's not the
same as being depressed when we get older. So that's
one thing. And the second is i'd say that this
idea that dementia is a normal part of aging. So
a lot of people they think someone's older and they're
(10:42):
like cognitive impairment, and they say, well, they're older, So
that's just how it is, and and it's it's not
increasing age is a risk factor for developing certain kinds
of dementia like Alzheimer's disease, but it's not a normal
part of aging.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
So I'd say that's the second.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Key right there.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Yeah, those are the key ones. And then the third
that I think is related to these first two is
the idea that that we have in our society that
aging is in general like downhill, right, And so if
we think that aging is downhill, of course it's scary
and people don't want to talk about it, and we
want to do like anti aging everything right, But the
(11:23):
reality is that we live in an age's society that
tells us aging is downhill.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
That's true, gosh, that's and it's sad because aging is
such a gift. Aging is just living, right is living.
There's so many people who don't get to and you're
getting to. Okay, that's so that's those are three. Yeah,
very very common, I would say misconceptions for sure. I
think a lot of people do realize when they're getting
(11:53):
older that things are going to change, right, their memory
is going to change. It isn't dimension necessarily though, Like
and those are the things that I think, because we
see it and it's focused on with people that are older,
you think, oh, that's how it's going to be for me.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
We have this like assumption that that that if somebody
has a mess up or they forget and they look older,
it's like, oh, they have some you know, the automatic
thought is like, oh, are they okay? But if it
happens to a twenty year old, it's like, oh, maybe
they just you know, had a badding sleep or something.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Yeah, forgetful, that's it, right, just forgetful. That's like me
going and looking for my keys. Where are they? Yeah,
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
There's somewhere. Yeah, actually I lost my keys. There's somewhere
in the house. I still have found them.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
But you know, I think I'm fine. I'm just you know,
it's just.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Play something.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Well, actually, there are studies that is, like, there are
studies that show, you know, like, why is talking about
ageism important?
Speaker 3 (12:46):
It's because there are.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Effects the way we think about getting older is actually
can affect our mental and physical health. So, uh, that
part I think is is is something that people.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
We don't know as much about.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
But there's a lot of studies now and pioneering work
by doctor Becca Levy that shows that the outlook that
you have about getting older can actually affect the physical health.
So people that had a more positive outlook on aging
lived on average seven and a half years longer than
(13:21):
people that had a negative outlook on aging.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I know, it's crazy, right.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Mind blowing, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Yeah, yeah, and so you know what does that mean
or how is that?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
It's if you think that it's.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
All downhill, then guess what, Yeah, right, you may not
be as likely to take care of certain parts of yourself, right,
you're right, right, it's may be self fulfilling.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Like speaking something into existence, right, like you know when
you know we make vision boards, right, I mean just okay,
maybe girly, that's maybe that's no.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yeah, yeah, but the idea that your perspective, the thing
that you put energy into whatever however you want to
call it, right, it becomes it can become self fulfilling
in that way. And so but so if you think
that it's downhill, you know what's going to happen. Right,
But if you think that life is a bunch of
like choose your own adventures, then life.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Can be more of your own.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Yeah, and it doesn't have to be dictated by what
society tells us it should be.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
That's so true. I try to tell my kids to
all the time to stay positive, stay positive, right, I
mean that's like it's hard to do, especially when their
kids and their teenagers and then they're like everything.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Hard to do, and like saying like don't be mad,
and you're like, ah, that makes me more mad.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
You know.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Calm down, right, yeah, calm down yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
the classic one. It's like and it's so it's not
like to put on rose colored glasses. Right, of course,
it's like complex, getting older, living is like is complex.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
But to understand that agism is a is a big
player in this.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Yeah, be able to stand that and recognize it, then
you actually check yourself and challenge those biases.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, you know, it's so fascinated to Just the other
day I took you. We were doing training at work,
and California has a lot of protections against different things,
and agism is one of them, and it's specific to
forty year old plus. I know, to me it was like,
what right, looking at forty people like that still seems
(15:28):
so young to me. But obviously I'm forty, so I
don't know, Like that's why it seems young to me.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
And I was just thinking to myself, Wow, that's how
agous we are that we actually have to put something
out there, a rule, a law well that says you.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Cannot discriminate against someone who is over forty years old.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
It's one of the most kind of like insipid like isms.
I guess you could, you know, say, like people don't
really think about talking about age, and like discriminating into
age is like a big deal. But especially in the workforce.
I mean, it's a huge thing. It's a huge thing,
and it affects our mental health.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
I mean, how can.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
It not it does.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yeah, I am not older, I am wiser, thank you whatever. So, Okay,
we had a little prep call before today, and you
use the term that like struck all of us about
being part of the Sandwich generation. Will yeah, operate on
what the sandwich generation is? Am I in it too?
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Are you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Probably?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
So the sandwich generation is it's a term that represents
people that are raising kids and also caring for their
parents at the same time. So we're like sandwiched between responsibilities.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Oh my gosh, I get it. Okay, I see.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
So I have a three year old and I'm also
helping to support my parents who are seventy nine and
eighty four. And I'm not alone. I'm in good company.
They're a quarter of a quarter of us adults are
actually in this sandwich duration, and fifty percent of people
in their forties are. So it's so many people, and
(17:07):
it's growing, right because we're getting older as a society.
People are having kids a little bit later. There's a
few different factors, and you know, it can be filled
with a lot of joy and laughter and fullness, but
it can also get a little crazy. Sometimes it's not
always easy. So not just the time poverty right where
(17:28):
we like have no time, but also just so so
much emotion that's happening under the surface. There's like there's guilt,
there's grief, there's frustration. There's a lot of things that
can come up that we don't really identify all the time,
but that can weigh on us.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
So being able to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah, that's brilliant. So I'd never heard the term before.
I know my best friend is going through this right now.
My own parents. My parents are very healthy, they're living
on their own. Know, at some point I will yeah,
you're like kind of thinking and oh, yeah, for sure,
and and they're doing all the things and putting all
their ducks in a row to make sure, you know,
(18:08):
things are easier for myself and my brother when time comes.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
They don't want to be a burden.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
They don't want to be burdened. But you know, it's
sometimes and that's also a luxury because sometimes you don't
have that right, you don't have that opportunity. My own
best friend is raising two girls, one in high school
one that just graduated, and her and her dad and
she is taking care She was taking care of her
dad till he passed just just a few weeks ago.
But that brought along so much stress to her life. Yeah,
(18:37):
she would talk about it. She was very candid with
us about feeling down, feeling like she couldn't do it all.
And what does someone do when they feel like they're
in that situation? Where do they go for help? She's
also one of the people that doesn't like to ask
for help. That's the other thing.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
She's in good company there too. Yeah, everyone wants to
be helpful, but it's really hard to accept help, to
reach out for help.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Absolutely, What do you do to help your own mental
wellbeing since you are in that situation right now?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Yeah, that's a great question because I'm kind of living
the thing that I've also been studying and and the
reality is it's a challenge and it can be messy,
and so just understanding that, I think is the first thing.
So some days I feel like I'm killing it right. So,
you know, my daughter's lunches, I've made, I took my
(19:33):
mom to the appointment, I helped fix her like phone thing,
and you know, I answered all the emails at work,
so things are clicking. But there are other days that
are just pure chaos. Right, my daughter gets a stomach bug,
my dad's test results come back weird. My husband and
I are you know, on the same page. But and
it can feel really overwhelming. So how do I manage that?
(19:55):
You know? I'll say, there's maybe like two bigger pieces,
and one is that there's no.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Perfect way to do it all.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
Yeah, there's no magic algorithm for this, and just reminding
myself of that can be helpful.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Okay, So I can be a bit.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Of a perfectionist at times. You know, maybe some people
listening are as well. So I used to really value
like optimizing everything and having all the plate spinning as
fast as possible all the time.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
But optimizing all the time with.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
All of these responsibilities is a recipe for burnout. Yes
it is right, and so knowing that and to know
that there's no perfect way, it takes some of that
self imposed burden off.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Yeah, to say you can do your best and it's okay, Yes,
you're doing the best you can. I'm sorry, didn't mean
to catch you up. Yeah, right there, I hang out, Yes,
that's right. I'm doing the best I can.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
This isn't the best that I can right now.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
Yeah, And it takes time, I think, to do that
and remind ourselves of that. And then I will also
say that in the past few years learning about myself
more learning about what I need. I'm very good at
knowing what other people need. I'm very tuned to knowing
to understanding other people's feelings. That's part of being in
the perfection. That's also I think partly being a woman too.
(21:22):
But it's been work and understanding what helps me right
what triggers me, because I'm human and I can be
you know, affected by my family, you know, saying a
certain thing or whatever it is, right, we all can.
That's that's what happens. But to know what actually helps me.
(21:43):
The other day, I was had this like feltless anxiety
for something I can't even remember, and I knew the
thing that I needed to do was actually just get
out of my head and into my body, So getting
out and like moving around, jumping around, moving and just
like starting to shake that up. And sometimes that's what
you need, but sometimes it could be something else. Sometimes
(22:04):
it's staying hydrated or talking to somebody or you know,
looking something up and researching something. So it's not like
you know, knowing to do this, to do this, but
to like step back and understand what it is we
need for ourselves.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yeah, so you have a full toolbox, right, so that
way you know, Okay, well this is what's happening. I
was triggered today, though, I need to remember this is okay,
that's ass I'll be all right with that. Or I'm
going to go for a walk. I think going for
a walk is a great idea. I always feel like
movement helps the absolute most, right. Yeah, that's like my thing.
(22:41):
I know I need to move I just I'm going
to go out and go for a walk and then
I clear my head. So many times I go to
bed and I'm like I have too many things on
my I'm I wake up. I'm like, I'm going to
go for a walk and nothing about any of it.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
And it's like that you knew you needed to go.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
It's that that that part of you that's like, oh,
I'm feeling that, Yeah, there's something going on, so let
me let me do something or try something else.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yeah. Yeah, have a full toolbox. Yeah, of all of
the things that you know will help you in that moment.
What are some other tips that you could give caregivers
who are, you know, trying to balance their daily tasks.
Like basically, like you just explained, you're doing your caregiver,
you're trying to do a job and actually have a
(23:26):
career and all of the things. But what other advice
could you give to a caregiver.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Yeah, and I'll also say, I'm lucky that I work
in a I have a work environment that's really supportive.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
So yeah, you know that that can't be underestimated.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
I mean, it's it's a it's a big, big piece.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
We're kind of in a community here.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
But for caregivers, yeah, you know, there's there's a lot
of advice for people that are caring. There's a lot
of like self care advice, make time for yourself, make
sure to exercise, get supported healthy, and all of that
is great advice. Uh, you know, and they're all true.
But I know that sometimes these tips can feel when
(24:08):
we're feeling overwhelmed, can.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Feel like just one more thing to do, right, okay.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Sometimes can feel like.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
A little bit more stressed to say, Okay, let me
try to like do all of these things and and
and so when you can do all of these things
or any of these things, great, But the first step
being you know, understanding that if it feels hard, it's
because it is hard. And actually our system is not
really set up to fully support family caregiving in any way, right,
(24:40):
Like it's actually the system is set up for family
caregivers to support the system, right, So it makes sense, right,
and and so really the advice is to get support
when you can in the way that you can get it,
and and do what you can for yourself.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
But to know that that that's it's a bigger piece.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
It's not just you, Right, What if somebody is really
struggling right now to take care of someone a loved one,
what should what? Maybe can you give them a couple
of steps that they should take in a direction to themselves.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Yeah, yeah, when you're feeling I think a lot of
people when there were so deep.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
In it, they're feeling overwhelmed.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
It's like hard to see outside of it.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Yeah, it's finding some way to physically break and like
take a break. And I know how hard that can
be for so many people. But that can call it
like respite or whatever you want to call it, right,
having somebody to help out and actually someone that you
trust and and to to come out of it. Because
(25:50):
when you come out of it, even for a shorter
period of time, like you said, when you go on
a walk, Yeah, it can clear things up, things that
feel so stressful. You can you can see, oh, okay,
well maybe I can do this, or maybe there's a
way I can ask for help here. But when we're
feeling so overwhelmed, our brain is so it's like so
stressed that it's hard to find solutions. It's hard to
(26:10):
be compassionate towards ourselves, and so really that first step
of going from like a heads down approach to kind
of heads up trying to find a way to.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Take a breath of air figuratively speaking, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Find a breath of avera. I like that. I like
that well before we go, because I'm so fascinated by
your line of work, and I think it's just so
it's so valuable, and I'm glad you do it, and
I'm glad that you're somebody so beautiful and wonderful to
have that heart to do it. Could you leave us
with the big takeaways from today, maybe just three three
(26:48):
key takeaways from our conversation that people should keep with
them after listening.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Yeah, so the three takeaways.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
First is noticing the ageous beliefs that we have and
how they really affect our mental and physical health.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Right, So it's not sugarcoating, but it's really just being
able to identify it.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
So the next time you're going out into the world
and you start noticing it with yourself or somebody else,
that's the first step you can challenge it because it
doesn't have to be this downhill slope, right, it.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Can be beautiful.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
It can be beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
And the second is if you're caring for others, just
know you're not alone in it. And so when I
talked about a heads up approach, it's also a heads
up and finding a way to connect because you know
we do better together and so you're not alone. Caring
for others can be fulfilling, but it's also overwhelming and
(27:43):
it can feel lonely, but it doesn't have to be,
so it can give room for enjoying life too. Write
and then the third way is the third thing is
just that pressure on ourselves and there's no perfect way
to do this, so being gentle with ourselves sometimes we
can be our own worst critic, but finding what works
(28:04):
for you individually, run your own race. There's no one
size fits all, but going on that journey to figure
out what that looks.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Like for you.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Oh so beautiful. That's well, that's well put. I really
do think noticing the agism kind of sparks the rest
of it right So notice how that is being portrayed
in society right now and in your own workplace and
you know, in your own family dynamic. That's that's step
(28:33):
one and I think that's that's beautiful. Oh, thank you
so much, Michelle. This has been really wonderful. I hope
we can have you back and maybe discuss some more things.
And I'd love to hear more about your sweet family
and the kids and the and the parents and how
you're navigating love to.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
I would love to And thank you Evilyn for the opportunities.
It's been so great.
Hey, welcome to another episode of Covering Your Help. Yay,
we have Lyd Revs presented by IEHP. I'm so excited
to have you here today. I have a little update
on my own journey that I have been on. It's
a wellness journey. Since launching this podcast, I've been so
inspired to do more, to move my body more, to
(00:21):
get more healthy. And I think I told you quite
a few episodes ago that I was training for a
half marathon and I completed it last weekend, so I'm
I feel so good. I have to tell you I
finally feel like I can do it again, like I am.
I was nervous. I wasn't going to be able to
It had been eight years since I got out there
(00:42):
on the course and I did a run Disney one
and I got out there. I did a ten k
on a Saturday, and I did the half marathon on
a Sunday. And I have to say a huge thank
you to IHP and the Covering Your Health podcast because
it really has inspired me to do it, to get
out there and push myself and know that I can
(01:04):
do it. And it's really mental, right, It's knowing that
you're able to get out there and do it again
and even eight years later when I'm a little older.
So speaking of getting a little older, that's what we're
going to be talking about today. We're going to talk
about the world of aging. I know, it's a word
that sometimes you go and then other times you go, yeah, yeah,
(01:27):
like aging, it depends. It's all perspective, and actually we're
going to talk a lot about that perspective right there.
It can be scary, but there are some beautiful organizations
like the Inland Coalition on Aging and today's guest doctor
Michelle Thing. They're working to help really with these uncertainties
about aging, creating more awareness and the importance of really
(01:50):
caring for the aging population, which includes ourselves and will
include ourselves one day. Right now here in the Inland
and it's estimated that the number of residents aged sixty
and older is projected to triple in the coming years
for various reasons including making ends meet on a fixed
(02:11):
income to affordable housing. There's going to be a lot
of things that we need to discuss. So with this
increase in growth comes the need for implementation of programs
and services to support this population of people. Groups like
the Coalition on Aging are working toward implementing a solution
(02:32):
by creating a roadmap on aging tailored to address the
unique needs of this region. So I am so excited
to chat with doctor Fang. She is getting in on
the action by providing key insights into how we individually
support the aging population and the golden years of our
(02:54):
life and really the caregivers that are going to have
to really be there for our aid loved ones or
for us.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Welcome to Covering Your Health, a wellness podcast dedicated to
covering all areas of living a healthy and happy lifestyle,
from healthy hearts to understanding health plans and everything in between.
Each episode will provide you with a better understanding of
managing your health, preventative care, and staying on the right
path for your family's wellness journey. The Covering Your Health
(03:24):
podcast is presented by i EhP. Now your host Evelina Revez.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Well, let's get right into it. Welcome doctor Michelle Fang.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Hello, Hye, nice to be here.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
I am so excited to talk to you today because
I really feel like this is one of those topics
that needs to be discussed because at some point everybody's
gonna understand, everyone will need a little knowledge on aging.
Really right now, before we get into everything, I want
to hear all about you. Tell me how you went
into this line of work. Is this something? Is aging
(04:02):
something always that you've always had in the back of
your mind since you were young, at like eleven years old.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
No, but yeah, but yeah absolutely so. I you know,
I've always been interested in understanding why people do what
do what would do what they do? Right, So the
human behavior part, that's something I've I've always had an
interested in interest in.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
And I became interested in the field.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Of psychology from just taking a college course so abnormal psychology.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
The professor at UC San Diego. He was so good,
and I just just had these real life stories.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Yeah I thought it was called abnormal psychology. Yes, yes,
oh yeah that sounds so that sounds fun.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I was just like understanding all the like the breadth
of like human human ability and human behavior.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Right, So it was it was great.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
I knew I wanted to get into the field. So
I went to USC for graduate school and I was
interested at that time in depression, like understanding depression. And
it just so happened that my advisor at the time
was the dean of the Gerontology School, so USC is
one of the first gerontology and gerropsychology programs in the US.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
So there's a lot of history.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
There's great people, passionate people researching the subject of aging,
aging well, the process of it, the challenges that come
with it, and so a lot of my kind of
specialization was due to opportunity, So just seeing what was available,
and my advisor was saying, you know, this is going
to be a really important topic. It is already, but
(05:40):
people weren't talking about it, but it's going yes, not enough,
and it's going to be. And so that's how I
got into it.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
And then in terms of.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
The therapy piece, I as a trainee, I started talking
to older adults and who were often caregivers, and I
just loved I love being able to sit with people
and their experience, their challenges, their strengths, you know, and
and often like helping people to find themselves again and
(06:10):
so personally, so there's that part the therapy piece, kind
of going into the jaral world. And personally, I had
a grandmother, my mother's mother, and she had Alzheimer's disease
and lived with us for some period of time, and
I saw the way that my mom and the family
you know, cared for her, and a lot of the
emotional aspects of that, right, yeah, so you know, caregiving,
(06:36):
the emotional parts kind of stick with us even after
the caregiving's over.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
So there's all these phases and it's stuck with me too.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
So you know, I think about that a lot when
I when I do the work that I do.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, oh that's special, and I do feel like you know,
caregivers sometimes we go, oh, you know, it's it's a
special person that is a caregiver, right, which we all
know that, but you don't realize that you're probably going
to end up being one, even if you think it's
for somebody else. You know, you're at some point in
your life going to be when in of course, if
you're a mom, you know what that's like already, or
(07:08):
a dad, but then you forget about how you may
be in a sense mothering and fathering your own parents
at some point.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
The unexpected career, yeah right.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Exactly, the thing you weren't sure you trained forever, but
all of a sudden, there you are. Can we elaborate
a little bit on your work as so you're a
gerro psychologist is that now you say it, man, that's
a big word. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Yeah, So what is a jerrop psychologist?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:39):
When Yeah, so in the same way that there are
psychologists who specialize in working with children or you know, teenagers.
So there are issues that come up within like different
life stages. Yeah, and so gero psychologists are specialized in
working with older adults or common issues that come up
as get older, and often that includes family.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Right.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
So some common issues for example, anxiety related to health concerns,
fear of falling after a retirement sometimes, you know, retirement
can be a respector for depression, caring for a partner,
managing medical conditions, Alzheimer's, cucyse, grief and loss, all of
these different things that are not because of aging but
(08:25):
are more common as you get older.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Right, okay, Yeah, so that is what you work on.
You focus on the emotional side kind of of whatening
as you age.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
It's like all the stuff that's right under the surface. Yeah,
and that people we don't tend to want to talk
about in our society especially, but it affects all of us, right.
And so actually, for me, a lot of my work
has been in skilled nursing facilities. So I started my
career as a staff psychologist at Executive Mental Health, the
company I work for, and providing bedside therapy and assessments
(09:01):
to residents who are, you know, having a difficult time
in there.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You know, just that's just as important as the aches
and the pains, you know, or the things we think,
Oh that's important, oh my back, my hip. I mean,
it's the mental and it's the things that are causing
you know, sometimes your aches and pains actually are from
some of that mental.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
You're like this right now, Yeah, hind body is so connected.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Yeah, and maybe that's one of those misconceptions. Let's talk
a little bit about that. What are some misconceptions about
aging that you're really hoping that you get to tackle
with your own work.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Oh yeah, that's a great question. So I'll say three things.
So the first is there's this misconception that depression is
a normal part of aging. So, you know, I think,
whether we think of it directly or indirectly, this idea
that like, well, at a certain point.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
You know, this person's depressed.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Okay, well they're they're old, right, and and it's just
not true. There are some there are thriving eighty year
olds and there are twenty year olds that are struggling
and vice versa, right, And and you know, the reality
is the more we live, the longer we live, the
more experiences that we have. And some of those experiences
(10:20):
are tough. Some people that are we are close to
pass away and and we grieve, but that's not the
same as being depressed when we get older. So that's
one thing. And the second is i'd say that this
idea that dementia is a normal part of aging. So
a lot of people they think someone's older and they're
(10:42):
like cognitive impairment, and they say, well, they're older, So
that's just how it is, and and it's it's not
increasing age is a risk factor for developing certain kinds
of dementia like Alzheimer's disease, but it's not a normal
part of aging.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
So I'd say that's the second.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Key right there.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Yeah, those are the key ones. And then the third
that I think is related to these first two is
the idea that that we have in our society that
aging is in general like downhill, right, And so if
we think that aging is downhill, of course it's scary
and people don't want to talk about it, and we
want to do like anti aging everything right, But the
(11:23):
reality is that we live in an age's society that
tells us aging is downhill.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
That's true, gosh, that's and it's sad because aging is
such a gift. Aging is just living, right is living.
There's so many people who don't get to and you're
getting to. Okay, that's so that's those are three. Yeah,
very very common, I would say misconceptions for sure. I
think a lot of people do realize when they're getting
(11:53):
older that things are going to change, right, their memory
is going to change. It isn't dimension necessarily though, Like
and those are the things that I think, because we
see it and it's focused on with people that are older,
you think, oh, that's how it's going to be for me.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
We have this like assumption that that that if somebody
has a mess up or they forget and they look older,
it's like, oh, they have some you know, the automatic
thought is like, oh, are they okay? But if it
happens to a twenty year old, it's like, oh, maybe
they just you know, had a badding sleep or something.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Yeah, forgetful, that's it, right, just forgetful. That's like me
going and looking for my keys. Where are they? Yeah,
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
There's somewhere. Yeah, actually I lost my keys. There's somewhere
in the house. I still have found them.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
But you know, I think I'm fine. I'm just you know,
it's just.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Play something.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Well, actually, there are studies that is, like, there are
studies that show, you know, like, why is talking about
ageism important?
Speaker 3 (12:46):
It's because there are.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Effects the way we think about getting older is actually
can affect our mental and physical health. So, uh, that
part I think is is is something that people.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
We don't know as much about.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
But there's a lot of studies now and pioneering work
by doctor Becca Levy that shows that the outlook that
you have about getting older can actually affect the physical health.
So people that had a more positive outlook on aging
lived on average seven and a half years longer than
(13:21):
people that had a negative outlook on aging.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I know, it's crazy, right.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Mind blowing, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Yeah, yeah, and so you know what does that mean
or how is that?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
It's if you think that it's.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
All downhill, then guess what, Yeah, right, you may not
be as likely to take care of certain parts of yourself, right,
you're right, right, it's may be self fulfilling.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Like speaking something into existence, right, like you know when
you know we make vision boards, right, I mean just okay,
maybe girly, that's maybe that's no.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yeah, yeah, but the idea that your perspective, the thing
that you put energy into whatever however you want to
call it, right, it becomes it can become self fulfilling
in that way. And so but so if you think
that it's downhill, you know what's going to happen. Right,
But if you think that life is a bunch of
like choose your own adventures, then life.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Can be more of your own.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Yeah, and it doesn't have to be dictated by what
society tells us it should be.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
That's so true. I try to tell my kids to
all the time to stay positive, stay positive, right, I
mean that's like it's hard to do, especially when their
kids and their teenagers and then they're like everything.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Hard to do, and like saying like don't be mad,
and you're like, ah, that makes me more mad.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
You know.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Calm down, right, yeah, calm down yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
the classic one. It's like and it's so it's not
like to put on rose colored glasses. Right, of course,
it's like complex, getting older, living is like is complex.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
But to understand that agism is a is a big
player in this.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Yeah, be able to stand that and recognize it, then
you actually check yourself and challenge those biases.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, you know, it's so fascinated to Just the other
day I took you. We were doing training at work,
and California has a lot of protections against different things,
and agism is one of them, and it's specific to
forty year old plus. I know, to me it was like,
what right, looking at forty people like that still seems
(15:28):
so young to me. But obviously I'm forty, so I
don't know, Like that's why it seems young to me.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
And I was just thinking to myself, Wow, that's how
agous we are that we actually have to put something
out there, a rule, a law well that says you.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Cannot discriminate against someone who is over forty years old.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
It's one of the most kind of like insipid like isms.
I guess you could, you know, say, like people don't
really think about talking about age, and like discriminating into
age is like a big deal. But especially in the workforce.
I mean, it's a huge thing. It's a huge thing,
and it affects our mental health.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
I mean, how can.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
It not it does.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yeah, I am not older, I am wiser, thank you whatever. So, Okay,
we had a little prep call before today, and you
use the term that like struck all of us about
being part of the Sandwich generation. Will yeah, operate on
what the sandwich generation is? Am I in it too?
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Are you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Probably?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
So the sandwich generation is it's a term that represents
people that are raising kids and also caring for their
parents at the same time. So we're like sandwiched between responsibilities.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Oh my gosh, I get it. Okay, I see.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
So I have a three year old and I'm also
helping to support my parents who are seventy nine and
eighty four. And I'm not alone. I'm in good company.
They're a quarter of a quarter of us adults are
actually in this sandwich duration, and fifty percent of people
in their forties are. So it's so many people, and
(17:07):
it's growing, right because we're getting older as a society.
People are having kids a little bit later. There's a
few different factors, and you know, it can be filled
with a lot of joy and laughter and fullness, but
it can also get a little crazy. Sometimes it's not
always easy. So not just the time poverty right where
(17:28):
we like have no time, but also just so so
much emotion that's happening under the surface. There's like there's guilt,
there's grief, there's frustration. There's a lot of things that
can come up that we don't really identify all the time,
but that can weigh on us.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
So being able to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah, that's brilliant. So I'd never heard the term before.
I know my best friend is going through this right now.
My own parents. My parents are very healthy, they're living
on their own. Know, at some point I will yeah,
you're like kind of thinking and oh, yeah, for sure,
and and they're doing all the things and putting all
their ducks in a row to make sure, you know,
(18:08):
things are easier for myself and my brother when time comes.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
They don't want to be a burden.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
They don't want to be burdened. But you know, it's
sometimes and that's also a luxury because sometimes you don't
have that right, you don't have that opportunity. My own
best friend is raising two girls, one in high school
one that just graduated, and her and her dad and
she is taking care She was taking care of her
dad till he passed just just a few weeks ago.
But that brought along so much stress to her life. Yeah,
(18:37):
she would talk about it. She was very candid with
us about feeling down, feeling like she couldn't do it all.
And what does someone do when they feel like they're
in that situation? Where do they go for help? She's
also one of the people that doesn't like to ask
for help. That's the other thing.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
She's in good company there too. Yeah, everyone wants to
be helpful, but it's really hard to accept help, to
reach out for help.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Absolutely, What do you do to help your own mental
wellbeing since you are in that situation right now?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Yeah, that's a great question because I'm kind of living
the thing that I've also been studying and and the
reality is it's a challenge and it can be messy,
and so just understanding that, I think is the first thing.
So some days I feel like I'm killing it right. So,
you know, my daughter's lunches, I've made, I took my
(19:33):
mom to the appointment, I helped fix her like phone thing,
and you know, I answered all the emails at work,
so things are clicking. But there are other days that
are just pure chaos. Right, my daughter gets a stomach bug,
my dad's test results come back weird. My husband and
I are you know, on the same page. But and
it can feel really overwhelming. So how do I manage that?
(19:55):
You know? I'll say, there's maybe like two bigger pieces,
and one is that there's no.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Perfect way to do it all.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
Yeah, there's no magic algorithm for this, and just reminding
myself of that can be helpful.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Okay, So I can be a bit.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Of a perfectionist at times. You know, maybe some people
listening are as well. So I used to really value
like optimizing everything and having all the plate spinning as
fast as possible all the time.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
But optimizing all the time with.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
All of these responsibilities is a recipe for burnout. Yes
it is right, and so knowing that and to know
that there's no perfect way, it takes some of that
self imposed burden off.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Yeah, to say you can do your best and it's okay, Yes,
you're doing the best you can. I'm sorry, didn't mean
to catch you up. Yeah, right there, I hang out, Yes,
that's right. I'm doing the best I can.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
This isn't the best that I can right now.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
Yeah, And it takes time, I think, to do that
and remind ourselves of that. And then I will also
say that in the past few years learning about myself
more learning about what I need. I'm very good at
knowing what other people need. I'm very tuned to knowing
to understanding other people's feelings. That's part of being in
the perfection. That's also I think partly being a woman too.
(21:22):
But it's been work and understanding what helps me right
what triggers me, because I'm human and I can be
you know, affected by my family, you know, saying a
certain thing or whatever it is, right, we all can.
That's that's what happens. But to know what actually helps me.
(21:43):
The other day, I was had this like feltless anxiety
for something I can't even remember, and I knew the
thing that I needed to do was actually just get
out of my head and into my body, So getting
out and like moving around, jumping around, moving and just
like starting to shake that up. And sometimes that's what
you need, but sometimes it could be something else. Sometimes
(22:04):
it's staying hydrated or talking to somebody or you know,
looking something up and researching something. So it's not like
you know, knowing to do this, to do this, but
to like step back and understand what it is we
need for ourselves.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yeah, so you have a full toolbox, right, so that
way you know, Okay, well this is what's happening. I
was triggered today, though, I need to remember this is okay,
that's ass I'll be all right with that. Or I'm
going to go for a walk. I think going for
a walk is a great idea. I always feel like
movement helps the absolute most, right. Yeah, that's like my thing.
(22:41):
I know I need to move I just I'm going
to go out and go for a walk and then
I clear my head. So many times I go to
bed and I'm like I have too many things on
my I'm I wake up. I'm like, I'm going to
go for a walk and nothing about any of it.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
And it's like that you knew you needed to go.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
It's that that that part of you that's like, oh,
I'm feeling that, Yeah, there's something going on, so let
me let me do something or try something else.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yeah. Yeah, have a full toolbox. Yeah, of all of
the things that you know will help you in that moment.
What are some other tips that you could give caregivers
who are, you know, trying to balance their daily tasks.
Like basically, like you just explained, you're doing your caregiver,
you're trying to do a job and actually have a
(23:26):
career and all of the things. But what other advice
could you give to a caregiver.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Yeah, and I'll also say, I'm lucky that I work
in a I have a work environment that's really supportive.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
So yeah, you know that that can't be underestimated.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
I mean, it's it's a it's a big, big piece.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
We're kind of in a community here.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
But for caregivers, yeah, you know, there's there's a lot
of advice for people that are caring. There's a lot
of like self care advice, make time for yourself, make
sure to exercise, get supported healthy, and all of that
is great advice. Uh, you know, and they're all true.
But I know that sometimes these tips can feel when
(24:08):
we're feeling overwhelmed, can.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Feel like just one more thing to do, right, okay.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Sometimes can feel like.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
A little bit more stressed to say, Okay, let me
try to like do all of these things and and
and so when you can do all of these things
or any of these things, great, But the first step
being you know, understanding that if it feels hard, it's
because it is hard. And actually our system is not
really set up to fully support family caregiving in any way, right,
(24:40):
Like it's actually the system is set up for family
caregivers to support the system, right, So it makes sense, right,
and and so really the advice is to get support
when you can in the way that you can get it,
and and do what you can for yourself.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
But to know that that that's it's a bigger piece.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
It's not just you, Right, What if somebody is really
struggling right now to take care of someone a loved one,
what should what? Maybe can you give them a couple
of steps that they should take in a direction to themselves.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Yeah, yeah, when you're feeling I think a lot of
people when there were so deep.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
In it, they're feeling overwhelmed.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
It's like hard to see outside of it.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Yeah, it's finding some way to physically break and like
take a break. And I know how hard that can
be for so many people. But that can call it
like respite or whatever you want to call it, right,
having somebody to help out and actually someone that you
trust and and to to come out of it. Because
(25:50):
when you come out of it, even for a shorter
period of time, like you said, when you go on
a walk, Yeah, it can clear things up, things that
feel so stressful. You can you can see, oh, okay,
well maybe I can do this, or maybe there's a
way I can ask for help here. But when we're
feeling so overwhelmed, our brain is so it's like so
stressed that it's hard to find solutions. It's hard to
(26:10):
be compassionate towards ourselves, and so really that first step
of going from like a heads down approach to kind
of heads up trying to find a way to.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Take a breath of air figuratively speaking, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Find a breath of avera. I like that. I like
that well before we go, because I'm so fascinated by
your line of work, and I think it's just so
it's so valuable, and I'm glad you do it, and
I'm glad that you're somebody so beautiful and wonderful to
have that heart to do it. Could you leave us
with the big takeaways from today, maybe just three three
(26:48):
key takeaways from our conversation that people should keep with
them after listening.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Yeah, so the three takeaways.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
First is noticing the ageous beliefs that we have and
how they really affect our mental and physical health.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Right, So it's not sugarcoating, but it's really just being
able to identify it.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
So the next time you're going out into the world
and you start noticing it with yourself or somebody else,
that's the first step you can challenge it because it
doesn't have to be this downhill slope, right, it.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Can be beautiful.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
It can be beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
And the second is if you're caring for others, just
know you're not alone in it. And so when I
talked about a heads up approach, it's also a heads
up and finding a way to connect because you know
we do better together and so you're not alone. Caring
for others can be fulfilling, but it's also overwhelming and
(27:43):
it can feel lonely, but it doesn't have to be,
so it can give room for enjoying life too. Write
and then the third way is the third thing is
just that pressure on ourselves and there's no perfect way
to do this, so being gentle with ourselves sometimes we
can be our own worst critic, but finding what works
(28:04):
for you individually, run your own race. There's no one
size fits all, but going on that journey to figure
out what that looks.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Like for you.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Oh so beautiful. That's well, that's well put. I really
do think noticing the agism kind of sparks the rest
of it right So notice how that is being portrayed
in society right now and in your own workplace and
you know, in your own family dynamic. That's that's step
(28:33):
one and I think that's that's beautiful. Oh, thank you
so much, Michelle. This has been really wonderful. I hope
we can have you back and maybe discuss some more things.
And I'd love to hear more about your sweet family
and the kids and the and the parents and how
you're navigating love to.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
I would love to And thank you Evilyn for the opportunities.
It's been so great.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.