December 2, 2024 • 31 mins
Kick off season two of Covering Your Health with host Evelyn Erives as she welcomes American Idol winner Abi Carter for an inspiring conversation about her incredible journey and her passionate advocacy for youth mental health. Abi shares her story of triumph and the challenges she faced, emphasizing the importance of mental wellness for young people today.
In partnership with the Inland Empire Health Plan, Abi discusses vital resources available to support youth in navigating their mental health journeys. Join us for this uplifting and empowering premiere episode that highlights resilience, advocacy, and the power of community support.
For more information on this show's topic visit IEHP.org or (800) 440-IEHP.
Reach out to Evelyn via Instagram @evelynerives or email her at EvelynErives@iHeartMedia.com
In partnership with the Inland Empire Health Plan, Abi discusses vital resources available to support youth in navigating their mental health journeys. Join us for this uplifting and empowering premiere episode that highlights resilience, advocacy, and the power of community support.
For more information on this show's topic visit IEHP.org or (800) 440-IEHP.
Reach out to Evelyn via Instagram @evelynerives or email her at EvelynErives@iHeartMedia.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, hello everyone, and welcome back Season two of Covering
Your Health with Evelyn Revas, presented by IEHP. I can't
believe it. Here we are a full year of episodes
under our belt and we're kicking it off with a bang.
This is going to be so special. I you are
in for a treat. Let me just tell you. We're
joined by American Idol winner Abby Carter, who's partnering with
(00:23):
IHP to raise awareness for mental health in youth in
the region. The campaign was formally announced in late October,
timed with the launch of Abby's highly anticipated album released
of Ghosts in the Backyard out Now. So I'm so
excited for her. Mental health awareness is a subject very
(00:45):
very close to the Indio Native's heart as well as mine.
You we've talked about this in the past, my husband's
been on the show. We've really dived deep into mental health,
and I think we're going to get some really great
insight from Abby today. She's been publicly outspoken about her
own mental health journey, and her debut album covers really
many themes under the umbrella of this very important subject.
(01:08):
Today's conversation will cover everything about Abby, from her passion,
her music, her upbringing right here in the ie, and
why she is on a mission to change lives.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Welcome to Covering Your Health, a wellness podcast dedicated to
covering all areas of living a healthy and happy lifestyle,
from healthy hearts to understanding health plans and everything in between.
Each episode will provide you with a better understanding of
managing your health, preventative care, and staying on the right
path for your family's wellness journey. The Covering Your Health
(01:43):
podcast is presented by I E HP Now your host,
Evelina Revez.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Well, I am so excited I have American Idol winner
Abby Carter with me.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Hilynn. It's so great to talk with you today.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
This is such a pleasure. So everybody behind the scenes
has been just overjoyed with the fact that you're going
to be on the show. This is our season two
debut show. So yeah, I know it's a big deal. Wow,
big deal. That's a big deal. And you're from here
I am, and that makes it even more special.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
To us, it really is. It just is so special.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
I think that the support that I've kind of gathered
from this entire community has gotten me to where I am,
and I wouldn't be here without it, and so to
be able to come back and do this in my
own community, it's just yeah, it's so heartwarming.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yeah it is. It's just you're the hometown hero. We
said it outside. We're like, You're like the hometown hero,
which is so cool. I mean, like, we've not had
an American idol like that before. You know, We've had
people that have made the show from the area, but
not the idol, Like, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
It wasn't my goal going into this show.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I just I just wanted to do something that I
would look back on and be like, you know what.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I gave it my best show.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
You know, I was planning on winning, Like that wasn't
in your head like that I'm going on and if
I don't win.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Right, No, I mean I was in college getting my
my bachelor's in psychology, and so I was planning on
going on and getting my masters and being a marriage
a family therapist, and and uh, I just one day
I decided, you know what, I really need to just
do something artistically that I'm passionate about.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, and uh, and.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
I might never get this opportunity ever again. I graduated early,
and now I have this year that would still be
in school technically, and so I just decided to give
it my best shot. And about a month later, I
got a DM from the casting producers at American Idol,
who were just scouring the internet trying to find people.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
To were you serious so they brought you in.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Well, I had like less than two hundred followers on
all platforms combined, so I don't know how they found me, Like,
by the grace of God, they found me.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
And they just asked if.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
I would if I was interested, and I was like, no,
that's really scary.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
I'm not going to do that. But I don't know.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
I ended up hopping on a call with him and
they kind of talked me through what the process would
look like, and I was like, Okay, it doesn't seem
that scary and I probably won't get aired anyway, so
I won't be embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Yeah, But I went on and they you know, they
let me through.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Oh okay, wait wait, I know. So I'm supposed to
start with like a question about like growing up in
India and blah blah blah, and like, no, no, I
love this. I love where it's going better. Because I
was gonna tell you. So I rewatched I had seen it,
I had seen your audition. I rewatched your audition this week,
and it's different now, Like it was amazing then, but
(04:37):
it's so different now to watch it and know like
who you are, and like I've been doing research, you know,
just to have you in and all of that. I cried.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
I can't even talk about it with that, Like I can't.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I was just gonna think about it without crying. I can't.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
So she performed. If you haven't seen it, just look
it up on YouTube. It is worth it. She does
what was I Made for? And it's this, okay, like
that's a beautiful song, right, and.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Billy doesn't a masterpiece of a wonderfully pietist.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
You get on the piano and I can almost see
it in Katy Perry's face. She's like she gonna be
able to do this song? Yeah, she kind of had
that look of like, I don't know, not everyone could
do this song and you just blew it away. It
was so amazing and like I so, I was sitting
there crying at my computer and I was like, oh
(05:30):
my god. And then their comments right after are I
think she's the American Idol, like they knew it right then.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
I didn't feel like I didn't.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
I think that I kind of chalked it up to
you know, this is a reality TV show.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I'm sure they say this.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
To fifteen people just in case, you know, and then.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I can edit, like yeah it.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
They'd be like, oh, we cut this out of their audition,
see it now we called it.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I just I figured that's what was going on.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
But I mean, being on the show, you kind of
realize it's a little it's it's more and you think
it is.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
And it was very surreal. It was overwhelming.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
I I'll never forget. I will never forget coming out
of Oh, I can't talk about it. I came out
of my audition, and you know, I expected my mom
to cry, I expected my sisters to cry. But off camera,
when everything was said and done and they were unmiking me,
my brother was crying.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
And like, okay, there's a scene when he like, is
I don't even know if I have any I'm sorry,
somebody else if there's a moment where your brother's like
under the door trying to listen to you sing, and
it's like he's just singing. My sister's so talented and.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I like that kid me too.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
I have a brother, and you know when your siblings
are that supportive of yeah, it's there's nothing like that,
because you know, those are your contemporaries, right, those are
the people that give you the most hell and also
give you the most love. Right there, your your people,
like they're your first people. For like my eyes, right,
(07:06):
we're gonna get some tissue like Julia's on it. We're
bringing a tissue.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
I think, like, I think the truth is, I think
that moment hit me so hard just because you know,
my family has been through so much and I feel
like a lot of the time, specifically men are boys
in our world, they're kind of taught to not have
emotions and to kind of bury it down, especially when
(07:35):
it's something is as as vulnerable as crying.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Or or expressing sadness or or or or pride. It's
very interesting. It's very interesting.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
So to see him kind of break that, and for me,
it felt like for me, I felt like, oh yeah,
it like it felt like I want it felt like
he wanted.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
It felt like my.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Family had finally done something that that we were doing together.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
It totally felt like a group effort and.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Then on the like sibling zone, you can hold it over.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
His head for the rest of his life.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Wid Okay, so let's talk about some of that from
from being busking on the streets of Indio. You're you're
doing gigs, You're doing all of these kinds of things
to this to this life now, right, A lot has
happened in a year. So tell me about those early
days with that process and how did you stay sane
(08:32):
through that entire American Idol thing.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
You know, the funny thing is, while I was on
American Idol, I was still busking.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Like there's so much time in between the episodes.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
So I auditioned October twenty fourth of twenty twenty three,
and the next filming thing that we did wasn't until
December for Hollywood Week, and so I it's month months between.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Yeah, yeah, oh my gosh, and I'm still busking. I'm
still I'm still working because I don't know how far
I go. I'm not gonna. I mean, I could get
voted off this next round, but I didn't.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
And then we did Hollywood Week and I came back
and I kept busking.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Yeah, I yeah, kept.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Doing that and made it onto the top twenty four,
and then we went to Hawaii and came back and
I kept busking.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
And it was in between all of it.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Yeah, and then we didn't start having consecutive shows where
I needed to not be in the valley be home
until April.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
April, April, and you started this process in October.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
October, well actually in June, so it was a really
long process totally.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Oh, they're so on it.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
There season ends and they're immediately like reaching out to
new people for the next.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Ready for the next thing. Yeah, oh my gosh, that's incredible.
Well what has this Now? You're you're there, You're at
the end, You're you're in those final rounds. You're making
beautiful music with like big celebrities or on the show.
It's crazy.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Singing with John bon Jovi was probably gonna be the
highlight of my life.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Like it gets to say that nobody gets to say.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
And here's the really fun part. She's educated, so you know,
if this doesn't work out, I got the whole backup
last like, no problem, We're good. I got a whole thing.
So since then, now you win American Idol and here
we are months later, what has this been like for you?
Speaker 4 (10:27):
The after Oh, I mean, I just kind of decided
to really delve into music itself, and I wanted to
start writing and writing passionately about things that I really
believed in and really.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Felt I think I was.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
I was figuring it out while I was on the show,
and and I didn't really know who I was until
the show was over.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
So there's so many things.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
I mean, I released two songs during that time, and
like I look back at them now and I'm like,
I could have done better, you know, Like I think
I'm I'm definitely a different artist than I was even
really portrayed on the show because I didn't know who
I was on the show.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
I was figuring it out as we were taping.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, gosh, I can't even imagine that process. Well, they
do have you do so many different kinds of genre, right,
like a rock.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
And roll night. They have songs that make you want
to dance, And I thought to myself.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
I was like, man, like, what would what would somebody
like Phoebe Bridgers.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Do for like songs that make you want to dance
like this.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
She's a very very specific kind of artist and she
doesn't make that kind of music, and that's kind of
where I wanted to go.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
So it was kind of it was just hard.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
How do we do this? We get mine?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Yeah, it was hard, and so, you know, I was
doing things that I was having so much fun doing,
but I didn't know if they necessarily represented me as
a as like a musician, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
What I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Yeah. So you went to school here at Kelset Semmerdino,
so amazing. Did you travel in from did you drive?
Did you make that?
Speaker 4 (11:55):
And there's actually a campus in Palm des Oh that's great. Yeah,
there's a campus in Palm Desert. Yeah, Okay, State San Bernardino.
I think they're trying to make it into cal State
Palm Desert within the next couple of years.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I think it's the thing.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Well, there's so many people may there's so many there's
it's it would serve it.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
The demand is actually very high and I'm surprised that
we haven't had one.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Before out there.
Speaker 5 (12:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Yeah, yeah, agreed. So my daughter is also at cal
State sanm Bernandino of the campus here in San Bernandina.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
How does she like it?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
She loves it. Yeah, she loves it, she really does.
And she's in her final year and so she's in
this phase of her life, which I know you felt
where she's like, what's next, What's next? I am I behind?
Am I on time?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Am I?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
You know? And I feel like with so many young
people now especially, and I feel like even more so
in California, we put so much pressure on our kids.
It feels very hard, like I need to make this
much money if I want to stay in California. You
know all of those things.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
So you graduate and you have this year and American
Idol calls you. So you got a degree in psychology
and I wanted to be a counselor.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Man.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Do you feel like that helped you through this process
like you having that degree?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
And no, okay, it helped me.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
It helped me feel like if it didn't work out,
I'd be fine, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
But at the same time, I feel like.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
I was I mean, music is what I wanted to pursue,
and I didn't know if I had if I pursued music,
if I was giving up everything that I had worked
so hard for. I mean, a degree is no joke.
Going to college for four years is no joke. And
you know, and I graduated. I graduated Summa clum loud.
(13:39):
I worked really hard during that time, so I didn't
I some of me felt like did I throw it away?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Or is it helping me build?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Like is it giving me the strength that I needed
to be able to go and do this? Because nobody
really thinks to themselves like I'm gonna pursue music and
it's gonna be my full time job because so many.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
People want to do that.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Oh yeah, the market is.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
So saturated and I don't know. I didn't think even
going into American Idol that I was going to get
nearly as far as I did.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah, let alone win it. And then it just catapulted me.
It catapulted me to where I'm at now.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It seems like though it adds something to your toolblox R.
I always think of like, oh, you have more things
in your toolbox to help you navigate whatever life throws
at you. There's nothing that you can fully control, right,
That's what That's the thing I always tell my kids.
I was like, we can't really control everything. You can
control certain aspects of your life, but you never know
where your path is gonna wind and who's gonna call
(14:37):
and what you're going to get into that you're like
I don't really like that kind of job you have
to learn, right, Yeah, and you did have that, now
you have this foundation.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
You know.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
I do think that it helped me a lot. It
helped me to understand how to how to process feelings.
I mean, psychology is very big on just mental health,
and since.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
I was pursuing that, it helped me to then channel
what I was feeling into music as a form of
therapy for myself, right right, And I just I found
that helping me so much. It helped me to understand
things that I didn't even really understand before. Like I'd
be writing a song and figure it out as I'm
going with, oh that's what I was feeling at that time.
(15:19):
Like I wasn't angry, I was I felt betrayed. Yeah,
I felt like or something like that. It just it
helped me process things, and it helped me get over
grieving certain things, grieving the loss of friends or the
loss of my childhood or you know, just just it
helped me process it all.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Yeah. Yeah, And clearly you want you felt yourself going
down a path before, you know, separate from your music,
where you wanted to work with families and do therapy
I'm sure that came from somewhere inside of you and
somewhere where some sort of experience that you had. Now
you're working, we have this wonderful partnership with IHP, which
were so excited about. Yeah, and a lot of that
(15:59):
is sent around mental health. What do you hope to
accomplish with that? Like, what kind of awareness? What do
you what are you thinking that's going.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
To I want it to be destigmatized.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
I think that when I was in high school and
I my mom pushed me to get into therapy because
I was.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Going through a very rough time.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
I didn't want to for a really long time because
I didn't want to. To me, therapy was like, well
that makes me not somebody who can figure.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
It out on their Am I broken?
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Am?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I broken? Of course?
Speaker 4 (16:29):
And and I didn't want to admit that to myself.
And I felt like going to therapy was admitting that
to myself.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
And I didn't.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Realize until I was in it that it's just so
not And I want to I want to break the
stigma around mental health awareness. I want to break the
stigma around therapy and around resources that we have and
reaching out and talking to people and having those emotions.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I hope that. I mean, we were talking about how
a lot of men feel.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Like they can't they can show those emotions, and gosh,
so many, so many people that I know would benefit
so much from therapy, like just talking through it, just
understanding your own emotions, because I think a lot of
the time we've learned to channel them incorrectly.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, I know, I totally agree. We did an episode
on men's mental health and actually had my husband on
the episode because we talked about his own mental health
and what his journey looked like. And I always feel
like it's something if we are taught younger, if we
are shaped younger to understand that these things are okay.
(17:34):
I think it's so wonderful that your mom encouraged you
to go seek therapy, because there's also that stigma of
oh my child, there's nothing wrong with my child, you know,
and she had the capacity to understand, no, these are
things I can't help her with and that's okay. There
are really smart people that have a lot more of
(17:55):
those tools in their toolbox, yeah, to help navigate that
and to help you, you know, get on that right path.
So I commend you for doing it because I feel
like it's the more we talk, the more we talk,
the better it's going to be. Right. What else do
you want to achieve with your partnership with IEHP.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
I just want to get the world, like the word
out there about how many resources we have. I think
a lot of people might not even pursue it because
they don't think that there's things for them to have.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yeah, what would you say to somebody, maybe a young person,
maybe your same age or even a little bit younger,
who is having a mental health issue, something, they're going
through something, what do you think that they should do?
Speaker 4 (18:42):
This is it's been said before, This is definitely not
a new statement.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
But you're not alone. You're absolutely not alone.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
The things that you're going through people have gone through before,
and people are currently going through and you might not
know how close they are. And you're not going to
find that out unless you are reaching out. And if
there's one thing that I know, it is that this
community is a tight knit community. It really is because God,
(19:12):
I mean seeing even where I was a year ago
versus where I am now, I wouldn't be here without
the power of my community, without the.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Meeting rallying behind me and.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Appreciating me and pushing me toward.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Being who I am.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
And they want to do that for everybody. Yeah, And
it's just they just need to know about it.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
You know, what you said is very actually very powerful.
And even though yes, maybe it's been said before, not
everyone has heard it. Not everyone has heard that. And
I remember even feeling a very alone when I was
younger as well. I remember having those moments of why
do why does my brain think so negatively sometimes when
I when something happens, Why do I think negative thoughts?
(20:01):
Right there's a campaign that's going on right now called
never a Bother and it's and I'm actually a part
of this campaign, and it's it's just getting the messaging
out there that you are never a bother. You are
never a bother to anyone. If you have an issue,
just talk to somebody whoever the close person is to you,
(20:21):
or call there are so many lines you can call now,
there's so many resources out there to just get it
off of your chest.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
I remember feeling like I couldn't talk to people that
I knew because I didn't I didn't want to bother them.
I didn't want to I didn't want to weigh them down.
It felt like I was a weight down. And I
found that in talking to a therapist, somebody who is
a professional in being able to compartmentalize their own feelings
(20:51):
about a person, they are just so helpful because they
can see things objectively and they are just.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
There to talk with you. Yeah, just there to work
through these things.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
And and you're able to tell them things that you
might not be comfortable telling people.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
In your own personal real life.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
There's just so many resources. There's so many ways that
you can go about it, and there are people that
are that are there for you that when you feel
like there's.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Not Yeah, agreed. I know your songwriting has been really
therapeutic for you. There's a song that you have called
something what's the drug song? I can't think of it. Uh,
people some people need drugs. And I was listening to
it yesterday and I was like, this is so real.
This is literally this is and it's funny because the
(21:43):
way that you you're singing it is very much there's
a mental health message in there. Oh yeah, clearly about
you know it's okay. Yeah, there's some things going on
with you that are not quite okay.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Know, when I first started writing that song, it was
in the kitchen in my in my kitchen, in my
in my house with my mama, and we were kind
of just talking about we're just talking about people who
don't understand that their behavior can very much negatively affect
people around and uh and this is kind of like
(22:18):
the opposite side to to.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Mental health for people that are that are struggling.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
This is also this song in particular, is about being
the victim of somebody who doesn't understand.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
That they are not mentally well.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
So it started out so sarcastically, honestly, we're just.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
It's a fun song. It was just with a message.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
It was basically, yeah, I was like, you know what,
some people just need drugs, like some people need medical intervention,
like and it's not a terrible thing, it's but it
just is a fact that some people don't understand that
they're the behavior.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Can be very very damaging for other people.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
And so this was it's a cycle, you know, hurt people,
hurt people, right.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
Totally, totally, it's a you know, and then it you know,
I didn't know how to write it in a way
that wasn't just making fun of it, like I wasn't
because at the time I was really hurting from it,
and you know, they.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Say laughter is the best medicine, and I was.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
I was just trying to make a joke out of it,
and I felt like that would make me feel better.
But then I felt like the song was just making
fun of it.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And I realized I never Yeah, I never felt that
way with the version you came to totally revent Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
I went.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
I was actually hanging out with two of my friends,
uh when as a producer and a writer and the
other one's writer and an artist, Holden Miller and Michael Edwards,
and we were just we were we were supposed to
write something that day and we weren't really coming up
with any ideas, and I was like, you know.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
There's this one song I just haven't figured out how
to how to really create nail, and so we spent
that day.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
I told them like my idea for it, and they were.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Like, that's a that's a'thing there.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
There's a story there, Yeah, Like there's something we can say.
So we wrote a song about it and it was
kind of just.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
I honestly as a victim. You go through stages of grief.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
I feel like, you know, at first, you deny that
it's ever even happening. At some point you get angry
and you get mad. And I remember I was writing
it and I was like, God, I just want to
kill you, like so much of me just wants to
kill you, like for what you've done to me, for
what you've done to other people like you. You just
don't get it. You don't get it. And and when
(24:43):
you're stuck in that sort of a relationship for a
long time, you think that you can help them as well.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Oh, I think you can fix them.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
But there's just sometimes certain people that you cannot help
because they are not even willing to admit that they
have a problem, that there is a problem, that they
are the problem, that they need to go out and
work on themselves. And so this was kind of the
story of me being able to take a step back
and be like, you know what there is.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
I can't help you. I've tried, I can't.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
You need professional help, yeah, and I deserve better.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I need better. I deserve better.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
And you know, you're sitting on your bedroom floor and
you're repeating this to yourself because a lot of the
time in these sort.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Of situations, you convince yourself that you.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
Don't deserve it, that you don't deserve love, that you
don't deserve to.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Be treated well.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
And I just this was like that repeating part of
the song towards the end, the you know you're sick
and I'm tired.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Is the most powerful part of the song. It's it's
but it's it hits home, yeah, because I feel it,
especially if I don't know. I'm speaking now as a woman, obviously,
but I feel like, just like you said, there's so
many times that we feel we can mother someone back down.
Oh yeah, you know what I mean, Like I'm going
to fix them because I am a woman and I
don't have to fix everybody and everything.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
The controlling part of it really feels that way too.
I think you have power.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
I have the power to fix this.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
And it's just like it's just that repeating to yourself,
you know what, like I do deserve better, I need better,
I deserve better, I need love, And you repeat that
until you fully realize it and you're like, and then
you take a step back and you put your hands
up and you're like, and you just need medical intervention.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
You just need help and you need you need dress rugs,
and that's and let's just leave.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
It at that. And that's just what it is. I
always love this.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
I talk to my girlfriends about this all the time.
When a woman is done, you know it, like you.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
You know, they say that like women dissociate from relationships
during the relationships that like that, Like typically when women are, say,
breaking up with somebody, they've already broken.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Up with them. Oh yeah, like over the course of
a month, a year. My brain is already You're already out.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
And then that makes it so much easier to actually
have that conversation and be like, you know what, I'm done.
But that some people think that men don't until it's
over and then they grieve it.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
So I've and grieved during the relationship and men grieve
outside the relationship. Is an interesting thing.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
It is, And I actually feel like that's way true. Yeah,
I know, I just had a bunch of flashbacks of
past relationships.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
And you're like, oh, wait, I was done way before
it was actually done.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
In a second, yeah, I've happily married, but before that, well,
let's lighten it up a little bit, Yeah, tell us
a little bit about your upbringing here in the I e.
What are your favorite places to go when you're here?
Where you eat? Like, where do you have to hit?
Tell me those things.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
When I'm goodness, when I'm in the valley, when I'm
in the coach the valley, Man.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
I love the tram. I grew up going to the
Palm Springs.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
It's the best.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
Yeah. No, we had we had like annual pass the
season past. Yeah, my whole family would go up. We'd
bring a picnic up and we'd just walk around and
then find a place to sit down and have a picnic.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Yeah. Talk about all the trees around this.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
It's crazy because it's so if and if you haven't
done the aerial tram there, and I highly recommend you
do it because you are in two different places at
one time.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Oh yeah, desert and then you're up in like.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
And there might be snow. Yeah, snow.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Can you get down? It's one hundred and twenty degrees exactly.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Oh that's so cool.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
I love that. I My favorite my favorite food place
is called Lascas Whilas Lascos and it's on Palm Canyon
in Palm Springs.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
And that is.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
I'm a big fan of Mexican food, big fan. There's
a place called Armando's on Alpiseo.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
I'm so lacked it, but they use like this, this
specific cheese.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
It's just jack cheese.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Yeah yeah, yeah, but I ask for a side of
it every time.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
I know, and I've become a problem for myself and
everyone around there that it don't work for me though.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
All right, Well to get you a different gi doctor
I HP has good recommendations.
Speaker 5 (29:24):
Great resources for you for whatever your problems are.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Abby, you have been a pleasure. This is really fun.
I hope you have enjoyed this converse. Oh, thank you,
and congratulations on everything, on on just all your success,
on whatever that trajectory is going to be for you.
It's You're a special person. You're a special light. We
can all see it. I know, American Idol saw it,
(29:51):
in America saw it. So I'm so grateful that I
got to have a chat with you.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Is there.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
How can people follow your journey and everything that's next
for you? You got an album that.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
I do, Ghost in the Backyard.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
It's actually coming out next Friday, not tomorrow, but November fifteen.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
By the time this is out, I think it'll be out,
so there we go.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
Fifteenth I released an albums in the Backyard and it
it just it's the culmination of me figuring things out
in myself. It's totally It's just an absolute throw at
the wall therapy album for me.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
It's an absolute abby.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
It's so me, it's so abby.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I love it, but I hope that people.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Can relate to it as well.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
I mean, I I've written songs about I don't know,
I wrote a song.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
I don't know if I can really even talk about it.
I feel like I need to check with her first
I can talk about it.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
But yeah, I've written songs like about my close friends
and things that they've gone through as well, and me
like looking at it and being.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Like from the friend perspective, from the friend perspective and
wanting to shake that what are you?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (31:04):
And then just missing.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
I just yeah, it's just about missing my childhood, missing
my friends, and learning things about myself and learning things
about the people around me and how to handle it
and how to be a good person throughout all of it.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Through it all, I can't imagine that you wouldn't be
You are so special and you're always welcome back here.
So please okay, next album, we'll talk, get you back
on the podcast again.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Please.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
We love you, Thank you so much for joining.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Thank you, I appreciate it. Good luck with everything I
want to give you a we will
Well, hello everyone, and welcome back Season two of Covering
Your Health with Evelyn Revas, presented by IEHP. I can't
believe it. Here we are a full year of episodes
under our belt and we're kicking it off with a bang.
This is going to be so special. I you are
in for a treat. Let me just tell you. We're
joined by American Idol winner Abby Carter, who's partnering with
(00:23):
IHP to raise awareness for mental health in youth in
the region. The campaign was formally announced in late October,
timed with the launch of Abby's highly anticipated album released
of Ghosts in the Backyard out Now. So I'm so
excited for her. Mental health awareness is a subject very
(00:45):
very close to the Indio Native's heart as well as mine.
You we've talked about this in the past, my husband's
been on the show. We've really dived deep into mental health,
and I think we're going to get some really great
insight from Abby today. She's been publicly outspoken about her
own mental health journey, and her debut album covers really
many themes under the umbrella of this very important subject.
(01:08):
Today's conversation will cover everything about Abby, from her passion,
her music, her upbringing right here in the ie, and
why she is on a mission to change lives.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Welcome to Covering Your Health, a wellness podcast dedicated to
covering all areas of living a healthy and happy lifestyle,
from healthy hearts to understanding health plans and everything in between.
Each episode will provide you with a better understanding of
managing your health, preventative care, and staying on the right
path for your family's wellness journey. The Covering Your Health
(01:43):
podcast is presented by I E HP Now your host,
Evelina Revez.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Well, I am so excited I have American Idol winner
Abby Carter with me.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Hilynn. It's so great to talk with you today.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
This is such a pleasure. So everybody behind the scenes
has been just overjoyed with the fact that you're going
to be on the show. This is our season two
debut show. So yeah, I know it's a big deal. Wow,
big deal. That's a big deal. And you're from here
I am, and that makes it even more special.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
To us, it really is. It just is so special.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
I think that the support that I've kind of gathered
from this entire community has gotten me to where I am,
and I wouldn't be here without it, and so to
be able to come back and do this in my
own community, it's just yeah, it's so heartwarming.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yeah it is. It's just you're the hometown hero. We
said it outside. We're like, You're like the hometown hero,
which is so cool. I mean, like, we've not had
an American idol like that before. You know, We've had
people that have made the show from the area, but
not the idol, Like, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
It wasn't my goal going into this show.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I just I just wanted to do something that I
would look back on and be like, you know what.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I gave it my best show.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
You know, I was planning on winning, Like that wasn't
in your head like that I'm going on and if
I don't win.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Right, No, I mean I was in college getting my
my bachelor's in psychology, and so I was planning on
going on and getting my masters and being a marriage
a family therapist, and and uh, I just one day
I decided, you know what, I really need to just
do something artistically that I'm passionate about.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, and uh, and.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
I might never get this opportunity ever again. I graduated early,
and now I have this year that would still be
in school technically, and so I just decided to give
it my best shot. And about a month later, I
got a DM from the casting producers at American Idol,
who were just scouring the internet trying to find people.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
To were you serious so they brought you in.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Well, I had like less than two hundred followers on
all platforms combined, so I don't know how they found me, Like,
by the grace of God, they found me.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
And they just asked if.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
I would if I was interested, and I was like, no,
that's really scary.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
I'm not going to do that. But I don't know.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
I ended up hopping on a call with him and
they kind of talked me through what the process would
look like, and I was like, Okay, it doesn't seem
that scary and I probably won't get aired anyway, so
I won't be embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Yeah, But I went on and they you know, they
let me through.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Oh okay, wait wait, I know. So I'm supposed to
start with like a question about like growing up in
India and blah blah blah, and like, no, no, I
love this. I love where it's going better. Because I
was gonna tell you. So I rewatched I had seen it,
I had seen your audition. I rewatched your audition this week,
and it's different now, Like it was amazing then, but
(04:37):
it's so different now to watch it and know like
who you are, and like I've been doing research, you know,
just to have you in and all of that. I cried.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
I can't even talk about it with that, Like I can't.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I was just gonna think about it without crying. I can't.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
So she performed. If you haven't seen it, just look
it up on YouTube. It is worth it. She does
what was I Made for? And it's this, okay, like
that's a beautiful song, right, and.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Billy doesn't a masterpiece of a wonderfully pietist.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
You get on the piano and I can almost see
it in Katy Perry's face. She's like she gonna be
able to do this song? Yeah, she kind of had
that look of like, I don't know, not everyone could
do this song and you just blew it away. It
was so amazing and like I so, I was sitting
there crying at my computer and I was like, oh
(05:30):
my god. And then their comments right after are I
think she's the American Idol, like they knew it right then.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
I didn't feel like I didn't.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
I think that I kind of chalked it up to
you know, this is a reality TV show.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I'm sure they say this.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
To fifteen people just in case, you know, and then.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I can edit, like yeah it.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
They'd be like, oh, we cut this out of their audition,
see it now we called it.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I just I figured that's what was going on.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
But I mean, being on the show, you kind of
realize it's a little it's it's more and you think
it is.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
And it was very surreal. It was overwhelming.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
I I'll never forget. I will never forget coming out
of Oh, I can't talk about it. I came out
of my audition, and you know, I expected my mom
to cry, I expected my sisters to cry. But off camera,
when everything was said and done and they were unmiking me,
my brother was crying.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
And like, okay, there's a scene when he like, is
I don't even know if I have any I'm sorry,
somebody else if there's a moment where your brother's like
under the door trying to listen to you sing, and
it's like he's just singing. My sister's so talented and.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I like that kid me too.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
I have a brother, and you know when your siblings
are that supportive of yeah, it's there's nothing like that,
because you know, those are your contemporaries, right, those are
the people that give you the most hell and also
give you the most love. Right there, your your people,
like they're your first people. For like my eyes, right,
(07:06):
we're gonna get some tissue like Julia's on it. We're
bringing a tissue.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
I think, like, I think the truth is, I think
that moment hit me so hard just because you know,
my family has been through so much and I feel
like a lot of the time, specifically men are boys
in our world, they're kind of taught to not have
emotions and to kind of bury it down, especially when
(07:35):
it's something is as as vulnerable as crying.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Or or expressing sadness or or or or pride. It's
very interesting. It's very interesting.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
So to see him kind of break that, and for me,
it felt like for me, I felt like, oh yeah,
it like it felt like I want it felt like
he wanted.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
It felt like my.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Family had finally done something that that we were doing together.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
It totally felt like a group effort and.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Then on the like sibling zone, you can hold it over.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
His head for the rest of his life.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Wid Okay, so let's talk about some of that from
from being busking on the streets of Indio. You're you're
doing gigs, You're doing all of these kinds of things
to this to this life now, right, A lot has
happened in a year. So tell me about those early
days with that process and how did you stay sane
(08:32):
through that entire American Idol thing.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
You know, the funny thing is, while I was on
American Idol, I was still busking.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Like there's so much time in between the episodes.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
So I auditioned October twenty fourth of twenty twenty three,
and the next filming thing that we did wasn't until
December for Hollywood Week, and so I it's month months between.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Yeah, yeah, oh my gosh, and I'm still busking. I'm
still I'm still working because I don't know how far
I go. I'm not gonna. I mean, I could get
voted off this next round, but I didn't.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
And then we did Hollywood Week and I came back
and I kept busking.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Yeah, I yeah, kept.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Doing that and made it onto the top twenty four,
and then we went to Hawaii and came back and
I kept busking.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
And it was in between all of it.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Yeah, and then we didn't start having consecutive shows where
I needed to not be in the valley be home
until April.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
April, April, and you started this process in October.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
October, well actually in June, so it was a really
long process totally.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Oh, they're so on it.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
There season ends and they're immediately like reaching out to
new people for the next.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Ready for the next thing. Yeah, oh my gosh, that's incredible.
Well what has this Now? You're you're there, You're at
the end, You're you're in those final rounds. You're making
beautiful music with like big celebrities or on the show.
It's crazy.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Singing with John bon Jovi was probably gonna be the
highlight of my life.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Like it gets to say that nobody gets to say.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
And here's the really fun part. She's educated, so you know,
if this doesn't work out, I got the whole backup
last like, no problem, We're good. I got a whole thing.
So since then, now you win American Idol and here
we are months later, what has this been like for you?
Speaker 4 (10:27):
The after Oh, I mean, I just kind of decided
to really delve into music itself, and I wanted to
start writing and writing passionately about things that I really
believed in and really.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Felt I think I was.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
I was figuring it out while I was on the show,
and and I didn't really know who I was until
the show was over.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
So there's so many things.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
I mean, I released two songs during that time, and
like I look back at them now and I'm like,
I could have done better, you know, Like I think
I'm I'm definitely a different artist than I was even
really portrayed on the show because I didn't know who
I was on the show.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
I was figuring it out as we were taping.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, gosh, I can't even imagine that process. Well, they
do have you do so many different kinds of genre, right,
like a rock.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
And roll night. They have songs that make you want
to dance, And I thought to myself.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
I was like, man, like, what would what would somebody
like Phoebe Bridgers.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Do for like songs that make you want to dance
like this.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
She's a very very specific kind of artist and she
doesn't make that kind of music, and that's kind of
where I wanted to go.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
So it was kind of it was just hard.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
How do we do this? We get mine?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Yeah, it was hard, and so, you know, I was
doing things that I was having so much fun doing,
but I didn't know if they necessarily represented me as
a as like a musician, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
What I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Yeah. So you went to school here at Kelset Semmerdino,
so amazing. Did you travel in from did you drive?
Did you make that?
Speaker 4 (11:55):
And there's actually a campus in Palm des Oh that's great. Yeah,
there's a campus in Palm Desert. Yeah, Okay, State San Bernardino.
I think they're trying to make it into cal State
Palm Desert within the next couple of years.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I think it's the thing.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Well, there's so many people may there's so many there's
it's it would serve it.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
The demand is actually very high and I'm surprised that
we haven't had one.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Before out there.
Speaker 5 (12:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Yeah, yeah, agreed. So my daughter is also at cal
State sanm Bernandino of the campus here in San Bernandina.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
How does she like it?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
She loves it. Yeah, she loves it, she really does.
And she's in her final year and so she's in
this phase of her life, which I know you felt
where she's like, what's next, What's next? I am I behind?
Am I on time?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Am I?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
You know? And I feel like with so many young
people now especially, and I feel like even more so
in California, we put so much pressure on our kids.
It feels very hard, like I need to make this
much money if I want to stay in California. You
know all of those things.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
So you graduate and you have this year and American
Idol calls you. So you got a degree in psychology
and I wanted to be a counselor.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Man.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Do you feel like that helped you through this process
like you having that degree?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
And no, okay, it helped me.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
It helped me feel like if it didn't work out,
I'd be fine, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
But at the same time, I feel like.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
I was I mean, music is what I wanted to pursue,
and I didn't know if I had if I pursued music,
if I was giving up everything that I had worked
so hard for. I mean, a degree is no joke.
Going to college for four years is no joke. And
you know, and I graduated. I graduated Summa clum loud.
(13:39):
I worked really hard during that time, so I didn't
I some of me felt like did I throw it away?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Or is it helping me build?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Like is it giving me the strength that I needed
to be able to go and do this? Because nobody
really thinks to themselves like I'm gonna pursue music and
it's gonna be my full time job because so many.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
People want to do that.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Oh yeah, the market is.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
So saturated and I don't know. I didn't think even
going into American Idol that I was going to get
nearly as far as I did.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah, let alone win it. And then it just catapulted me.
It catapulted me to where I'm at now.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It seems like though it adds something to your toolblox R.
I always think of like, oh, you have more things
in your toolbox to help you navigate whatever life throws
at you. There's nothing that you can fully control, right,
That's what That's the thing I always tell my kids.
I was like, we can't really control everything. You can
control certain aspects of your life, but you never know
where your path is gonna wind and who's gonna call
(14:37):
and what you're going to get into that you're like
I don't really like that kind of job you have
to learn, right, Yeah, and you did have that, now
you have this foundation.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
You know.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
I do think that it helped me a lot. It
helped me to understand how to how to process feelings.
I mean, psychology is very big on just mental health,
and since.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
I was pursuing that, it helped me to then channel
what I was feeling into music as a form of
therapy for myself, right right, And I just I found
that helping me so much. It helped me to understand
things that I didn't even really understand before. Like I'd
be writing a song and figure it out as I'm
going with, oh that's what I was feeling at that time.
(15:19):
Like I wasn't angry, I was I felt betrayed. Yeah,
I felt like or something like that. It just it
helped me process things, and it helped me get over
grieving certain things, grieving the loss of friends or the
loss of my childhood or you know, just just it
helped me process it all.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Yeah. Yeah, And clearly you want you felt yourself going
down a path before, you know, separate from your music,
where you wanted to work with families and do therapy
I'm sure that came from somewhere inside of you and
somewhere where some sort of experience that you had. Now
you're working, we have this wonderful partnership with IHP, which
were so excited about. Yeah, and a lot of that
(15:59):
is sent around mental health. What do you hope to
accomplish with that? Like, what kind of awareness? What do
you what are you thinking that's going.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
To I want it to be destigmatized.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
I think that when I was in high school and
I my mom pushed me to get into therapy because
I was.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Going through a very rough time.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
I didn't want to for a really long time because
I didn't want to. To me, therapy was like, well
that makes me not somebody who can figure.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
It out on their Am I broken?
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Am?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I broken? Of course?
Speaker 4 (16:29):
And and I didn't want to admit that to myself.
And I felt like going to therapy was admitting that
to myself.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
And I didn't.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Realize until I was in it that it's just so
not And I want to I want to break the
stigma around mental health awareness. I want to break the
stigma around therapy and around resources that we have and
reaching out and talking to people and having those emotions.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I hope that. I mean, we were talking about how
a lot of men feel.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Like they can't they can show those emotions, and gosh,
so many, so many people that I know would benefit
so much from therapy, like just talking through it, just
understanding your own emotions, because I think a lot of
the time we've learned to channel them incorrectly.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, I know, I totally agree. We did an episode
on men's mental health and actually had my husband on
the episode because we talked about his own mental health
and what his journey looked like. And I always feel
like it's something if we are taught younger, if we
are shaped younger to understand that these things are okay.
(17:34):
I think it's so wonderful that your mom encouraged you
to go seek therapy, because there's also that stigma of
oh my child, there's nothing wrong with my child, you know,
and she had the capacity to understand, no, these are
things I can't help her with and that's okay. There
are really smart people that have a lot more of
(17:55):
those tools in their toolbox, yeah, to help navigate that
and to help you, you know, get on that right path.
So I commend you for doing it because I feel
like it's the more we talk, the more we talk,
the better it's going to be. Right. What else do
you want to achieve with your partnership with IEHP.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
I just want to get the world, like the word
out there about how many resources we have. I think
a lot of people might not even pursue it because
they don't think that there's things for them to have.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yeah, what would you say to somebody, maybe a young person,
maybe your same age or even a little bit younger,
who is having a mental health issue, something, they're going
through something, what do you think that they should do?
Speaker 4 (18:42):
This is it's been said before, This is definitely not
a new statement.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
But you're not alone. You're absolutely not alone.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
The things that you're going through people have gone through before,
and people are currently going through and you might not
know how close they are. And you're not going to
find that out unless you are reaching out. And if
there's one thing that I know, it is that this
community is a tight knit community. It really is because God,
(19:12):
I mean seeing even where I was a year ago
versus where I am now, I wouldn't be here without
the power of my community, without the.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Meeting rallying behind me and.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Appreciating me and pushing me toward.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Being who I am.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
And they want to do that for everybody. Yeah, And
it's just they just need to know about it.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
You know, what you said is very actually very powerful.
And even though yes, maybe it's been said before, not
everyone has heard it. Not everyone has heard that. And
I remember even feeling a very alone when I was
younger as well. I remember having those moments of why
do why does my brain think so negatively sometimes when
I when something happens, Why do I think negative thoughts?
(20:01):
Right there's a campaign that's going on right now called
never a Bother and it's and I'm actually a part
of this campaign, and it's it's just getting the messaging
out there that you are never a bother. You are
never a bother to anyone. If you have an issue,
just talk to somebody whoever the close person is to you,
(20:21):
or call there are so many lines you can call now,
there's so many resources out there to just get it
off of your chest.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
I remember feeling like I couldn't talk to people that
I knew because I didn't I didn't want to bother them.
I didn't want to I didn't want to weigh them down.
It felt like I was a weight down. And I
found that in talking to a therapist, somebody who is
a professional in being able to compartmentalize their own feelings
(20:51):
about a person, they are just so helpful because they
can see things objectively and they are just.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
There to talk with you. Yeah, just there to work
through these things.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
And and you're able to tell them things that you
might not be comfortable telling people.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
In your own personal real life.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
There's just so many resources. There's so many ways that
you can go about it, and there are people that
are that are there for you that when you feel
like there's.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Not Yeah, agreed. I know your songwriting has been really
therapeutic for you. There's a song that you have called
something what's the drug song? I can't think of it. Uh,
people some people need drugs. And I was listening to
it yesterday and I was like, this is so real.
This is literally this is and it's funny because the
(21:43):
way that you you're singing it is very much there's
a mental health message in there. Oh yeah, clearly about
you know it's okay. Yeah, there's some things going on
with you that are not quite okay.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Know, when I first started writing that song, it was
in the kitchen in my in my kitchen, in my
in my house with my mama, and we were kind
of just talking about we're just talking about people who
don't understand that their behavior can very much negatively affect
people around and uh and this is kind of like
(22:18):
the opposite side to to.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Mental health for people that are that are struggling.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
This is also this song in particular, is about being
the victim of somebody who doesn't understand.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
That they are not mentally well.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
So it started out so sarcastically, honestly, we're just.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
It's a fun song. It was just with a message.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
It was basically, yeah, I was like, you know what,
some people just need drugs, like some people need medical intervention,
like and it's not a terrible thing, it's but it
just is a fact that some people don't understand that
they're the behavior.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Can be very very damaging for other people.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
And so this was it's a cycle, you know, hurt people,
hurt people, right.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
Totally, totally, it's a you know, and then it you know,
I didn't know how to write it in a way
that wasn't just making fun of it, like I wasn't
because at the time I was really hurting from it,
and you know, they.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Say laughter is the best medicine, and I was.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
I was just trying to make a joke out of it,
and I felt like that would make me feel better.
But then I felt like the song was just making
fun of it.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And I realized I never Yeah, I never felt that
way with the version you came to totally revent Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
I went.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
I was actually hanging out with two of my friends,
uh when as a producer and a writer and the
other one's writer and an artist, Holden Miller and Michael Edwards,
and we were just we were we were supposed to
write something that day and we weren't really coming up
with any ideas, and I was like, you know.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
There's this one song I just haven't figured out how
to how to really create nail, and so we spent
that day.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
I told them like my idea for it, and they were.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Like, that's a that's a'thing there.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
There's a story there, Yeah, Like there's something we can say.
So we wrote a song about it and it was
kind of just.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
I honestly as a victim. You go through stages of grief.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
I feel like, you know, at first, you deny that
it's ever even happening. At some point you get angry
and you get mad. And I remember I was writing
it and I was like, God, I just want to
kill you, like so much of me just wants to
kill you, like for what you've done to me, for
what you've done to other people like you. You just
don't get it. You don't get it. And and when
(24:43):
you're stuck in that sort of a relationship for a
long time, you think that you can help them as well.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Oh, I think you can fix them.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
But there's just sometimes certain people that you cannot help
because they are not even willing to admit that they
have a problem, that there is a problem, that they
are the problem, that they need to go out and
work on themselves. And so this was kind of the
story of me being able to take a step back
and be like, you know what there is.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
I can't help you. I've tried, I can't.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
You need professional help, yeah, and I deserve better.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I need better. I deserve better.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
And you know, you're sitting on your bedroom floor and
you're repeating this to yourself because a lot of the
time in these sort.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Of situations, you convince yourself that you.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
Don't deserve it, that you don't deserve love, that you
don't deserve to.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Be treated well.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
And I just this was like that repeating part of
the song towards the end, the you know you're sick
and I'm tired.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Is the most powerful part of the song. It's it's
but it's it hits home, yeah, because I feel it,
especially if I don't know. I'm speaking now as a woman, obviously,
but I feel like, just like you said, there's so
many times that we feel we can mother someone back down.
Oh yeah, you know what I mean, Like I'm going
to fix them because I am a woman and I
don't have to fix everybody and everything.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
The controlling part of it really feels that way too.
I think you have power.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
I have the power to fix this.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
And it's just like it's just that repeating to yourself,
you know what, like I do deserve better, I need better,
I deserve better, I need love, And you repeat that
until you fully realize it and you're like, and then
you take a step back and you put your hands
up and you're like, and you just need medical intervention.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
You just need help and you need you need dress rugs,
and that's and let's just leave.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
It at that. And that's just what it is. I
always love this.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
I talk to my girlfriends about this all the time.
When a woman is done, you know it, like you.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
You know, they say that like women dissociate from relationships
during the relationships that like that, Like typically when women are, say,
breaking up with somebody, they've already broken.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Up with them. Oh yeah, like over the course of
a month, a year. My brain is already You're already out.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
And then that makes it so much easier to actually
have that conversation and be like, you know what, I'm done.
But that some people think that men don't until it's
over and then they grieve it.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
So I've and grieved during the relationship and men grieve
outside the relationship. Is an interesting thing.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
It is, And I actually feel like that's way true. Yeah,
I know, I just had a bunch of flashbacks of
past relationships.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
And you're like, oh, wait, I was done way before
it was actually done.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
In a second, yeah, I've happily married, but before that, well,
let's lighten it up a little bit, Yeah, tell us
a little bit about your upbringing here in the I e.
What are your favorite places to go when you're here?
Where you eat? Like, where do you have to hit?
Tell me those things.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
When I'm goodness, when I'm in the valley, when I'm
in the coach the valley, Man.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
I love the tram. I grew up going to the
Palm Springs.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
It's the best.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
Yeah. No, we had we had like annual pass the
season past. Yeah, my whole family would go up. We'd
bring a picnic up and we'd just walk around and
then find a place to sit down and have a picnic.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Yeah. Talk about all the trees around this.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
It's crazy because it's so if and if you haven't
done the aerial tram there, and I highly recommend you
do it because you are in two different places at
one time.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Oh yeah, desert and then you're up in like.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
And there might be snow. Yeah, snow.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Can you get down? It's one hundred and twenty degrees exactly.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Oh that's so cool.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
I love that. I My favorite my favorite food place
is called Lascas Whilas Lascos and it's on Palm Canyon
in Palm Springs.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
And that is.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
I'm a big fan of Mexican food, big fan. There's
a place called Armando's on Alpiseo.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
I'm so lacked it, but they use like this, this
specific cheese.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
It's just jack cheese.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Yeah yeah, yeah, but I ask for a side of
it every time.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
I know, and I've become a problem for myself and
everyone around there that it don't work for me though.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
All right, Well to get you a different gi doctor
I HP has good recommendations.
Speaker 5 (29:24):
Great resources for you for whatever your problems are.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Abby, you have been a pleasure. This is really fun.
I hope you have enjoyed this converse. Oh, thank you,
and congratulations on everything, on on just all your success,
on whatever that trajectory is going to be for you.
It's You're a special person. You're a special light. We
can all see it. I know, American Idol saw it,
(29:51):
in America saw it. So I'm so grateful that I
got to have a chat with you.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Is there.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
How can people follow your journey and everything that's next
for you? You got an album that.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
I do, Ghost in the Backyard.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
It's actually coming out next Friday, not tomorrow, but November fifteen.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
By the time this is out, I think it'll be out,
so there we go.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
Fifteenth I released an albums in the Backyard and it
it just it's the culmination of me figuring things out
in myself. It's totally It's just an absolute throw at
the wall therapy album for me.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
It's an absolute abby.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
It's so me, it's so abby.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I love it, but I hope that people.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Can relate to it as well.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
I mean, I I've written songs about I don't know,
I wrote a song.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
I don't know if I can really even talk about it.
I feel like I need to check with her first
I can talk about it.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
But yeah, I've written songs like about my close friends
and things that they've gone through as well, and me
like looking at it and being.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Like from the friend perspective, from the friend perspective and
wanting to shake that what are you?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (31:04):
And then just missing.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
I just yeah, it's just about missing my childhood, missing
my friends, and learning things about myself and learning things
about the people around me and how to handle it
and how to be a good person throughout all of it.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Through it all, I can't imagine that you wouldn't be
You are so special and you're always welcome back here.
So please okay, next album, we'll talk, get you back
on the podcast again.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Please.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
We love you, Thank you so much for joining.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Thank you, I appreciate it. Good luck with everything I
want to give you a we will
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